Introduction
First of all, your thesis statement is specific since it precisely indicates what the plan is about. It is direct to the point and this is fundamental because it gives you an opportunity to successfully verify your argument. Additionally, it is argumentative in nature. On the introduction part, I think you could have introduced the book, its authors and generally summarize what it discusses into details Moreover; you could have summarized about the concept of materialism/consumerism as it is discussed in the book.
I like the way you have presented the first effect of materialism. Your introduction of ...
