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Abstract
This paper analyses the critical role the communication plays in any romantic relationship. The relevance of communication in the context of a romantic relationship has been elaborated upon. The various stages of development of a romantic relationship vis-à-vis the role of communication at each stage each of such stage has been dealt with and explained. The reason for the breakdown of relationship on account of communication issues has been highlighted. The role of that communication plays in the context of healthy growth of a romantic relationship, is analyzed and elaborated upon. The importance of improving the nature and quality of communication and its implication on the growth of a romantic relationship has been analyzed.
Communication is the channel of expressing one’s though process and intention, whether positive, negative or neutral to another individual or entity for the purpose of establishing any intended relationship. One of the incidences of communication is sharing. In an online article on the etymological meaning of communication, it has been pointed out that the word “communication” is derived from the Latin word ‘communis’ which is a noun and ‘communicare’ which is a verb. It means commonality and to make common respectively. It has further been stated in the online article that from the etymological standpoint, the word “communication” means to share. The online Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines communication as “the act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else”. (Merriam Webster: Definition of Communication.)
The role that communication plays in any couple’s relationship simply cannot be undermined. A simple three letters sentence “I Love You” at any stage in a relationship may end up creating wild hopes of an everlasting relationship and conveying the intention of commitment from the partner stating the three lettered word! A romantic relationship always grows and evolves in phases. Vangeliste Anita (2012) rightly points out in an online article on inter-personal relationship that the way two people interact when they first meet can either ignite or extinguish hopes of future romance (Davis, 1973) (P 1). The nature and quality of the relationship is an important function for the evolution of relationship between any couple. Communication can be of various types, namely (a) clear and frank communication, (b) diplomatic communication; (c) cautious communication; (e) honest communication etc. The maturity level of the respective partners also has bearing on the nature of relationship and the role that communication plays in it. For any romantic relationship, it is imperative to convey the feelings and thought to another partner. In case one of the partners is a bad communicator and/or fails to effectively convey his or her feelings, it may have the effect of creating a permanent dent in the structure of the relationship.
As stated above, every relationship grows and evolves in phases. During the dating stage, the degree of communication is very high. People tend to spend a lot of time with each other. Every effort is made to make each other feel special. During the nascent stage of dating, people spend time having long drawn communication and listening to each other and doing all those activities which they enjoy doing together. However, this might not be the case as the relationship progresses as it is very likely that interest and priority may change and it is at this stage when communication plays a very crucial role. In an online article on characteristic of healthy, functional, romantic relationship, it has been rightly pointed out that one of the signs of a healthy romantic relationship is the ability to carry out open communication being honestly able to communicate one’s thoughts and feelings. The article further points out that open communication means to be able to express your feelings or opinions. Honest communication rest on the perfect understanding that it is perfectly alright to disagree, elucidate one’s feelings clearly, knowing it is okay to disagree, saying what you mean and finding a middle path by working out on the solutions together.
Lack of communication or rather non-effective communication can certainly be labeled as one of the founding stones of a doomed relationship. More often than not, one can hear a person post break up or a divorce blaming lack of communication as one of the key reasons why relationship started deteriorating at the first place. In the absence of effective communication, there is a very high degree of scope of misunderstandings. One of the partners may start attributing intention to the other partner on account of the other partner’s failure to communicate effectively.
Schwecherl, Laura (2013) points out in an online article the importance of clear communication and the importance of time and place. Those kinds of people are awfully bad communicator who does not know the relevance of time and place. People who do not know how to prioritize things may say the wrong thing at the wrong place and at the wrong time. Highly reserved and introvert people are also, at times, poor communicator as they are unable to spell out their feelings and thought process correctly. People who do not take responsibilities for their actions are the worst communicators as they often play blame game consequently completely ruining the relationship. Schwecherl, Laura (2013) further points out those conversations about highly critical issues, mutual expectations and sharing of financial burden are delicate in nature and requires a correct time and place. It is disastrous to bring up such topic without taking into consideration the stress level of the partner. If such topics are bought up at the end of the day, after a partner has spent long day at work, then it may certainly back fire!
In an online article, the result of a survey conducted on the reasons why couple’s split was published. (From Web: Huffington Post). The survey clearly confirmed the well known formula that the most effective way of avoiding divorce is effective communication between warring couples. The survey further highlighted that communication issues between couple are gender specific. As per the survey, a vast majority of men listed constant nagging and complaining as the key communication issue while women were of the view that their boyfriends do no respect and value their feelings enough. This clearly proves the critical role which communication plays in break-ups or divorces.
It is highly essential to improve the nature and quality of communication in one’s romantic relationship if one intends the relationship to be meaningful and mature. A relationship will have the signs of lasting from a long term perspective if one of the founding pillars of such a relationship is communication that is effective, sincere and meaningful. It is imperative that the indicia of time and place are taken into consideration for the purpose of making the communication and consequentially the relationship more meaningful and lasting. It is essential that couple analyze the communication issues at the earliest possible opportunity and make the necessary course correction prior to things going out of hand completely. Each of the partners should ensure that they communicate effectively, not only through spoken words, but also by exhibiting appropriate body language and all sings of communication, whether verbal or non-verbal, that makes dating life beautiful and the consequent relationship meaningful.
WORK CITED
- “What is Communication?” Derived from: https://pragatipath1.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/smc2.pdf p.1
- Definition of Communication. Derived from: Webster.com. n.p. n.d
- “Characteristic of Healthy Communication. Retrieved from: campbell.edu
- Vangeliste Anita “Inter Personal Processes in Romantic Relationship” “Knapp & Daly: The SAGE Handbook of Interpersonal Communication”, sagepub.com, P 1 (2012)
- “Poor Communication Is The #1 Reason Couples Split Up: Survey” From: The Huffington Post. (Nov, 2013)
- Schwecherl, Laura “20 Bad Habits That Could Hurt Your Relationship” From: greatest.com. (April, 2013)
