The way social norms change and how well people adjust to these changes has always been fascinating. Growing up as a child whose mother was working, I have always come faced with viewpoints that I felt lonely and abandoned, because, they said, I lacked maternal affection. I never understood why affection was measured by the hours a mother spends with her child, because I was raised with much love and nurture, even though I did not see my mother as much as other children that had their mothers at home. I felt resistant to the concept that staying at home mothers are better than working mothers. For that reason, the focus of this paper is to discuss why to be a working mother is better than a stay-at home mother and to provide three main reasons that point working mothers not only raise their children well but are happier and more fulfilled, than their non-working counterparts. There are more advantages to being a working mother than a stay-at home mother because (1) working mothers have positive effect on her own self and health, (2) working mothers retaining their professional career allows them to contribute to their kids’ well-being and future, and (3) working mothers are providing an excellent role model for their children
The times when women found their decision to enter the work force placed under the microscope and been severely criticized are long gone. Working women have managed to measure up to dedication and performance, just like their male counterparts, which is a great accomplishment. The barriers that kept women home, when they wanted to work are gradually recede; however, there are still groups that scrutinize any woman’s decision to work when having children. Time has shown and research has proven that working mothers have nothing to feel guilty about and provide excellent role models for their children and teach their children to respect women as equals, while contributing financially to their family's well-being and future. After all, being a good mother is not defined by whether a woman spends all her time staying at home, rather than the way she uses the time to create a nurturing a loving environment for her children to feel safe within and develop normally.
Background Information
According to the United States Department of Labor, there were more than 127 million working age women in the US, in 2013, and the number of working women is expected to rise by more than five percent, by 2022, and represent almost half of the country’s labor force (US Department of Labor).
The labor participation rate of mothers with underage children (younger than 18 years old) was almost 70 percent in 2013, while, for women with children aged 6-16 years old and under three years old, the percentages were 61 and 57 respectively. As for single mothers, the equivalent labor force participation rate was approximately 70 percent on average (US Department of Labor). This shows that women had dynamically entered the work force, either because they have started working before having a child or because their families required two incomes to be able to make ends meet. Of course, there are cases when a woman’s income is the only income in the family.
Some researchers argue about basically everything from academic to psychological impacts on children whose mothers work. Although most working mothers do experience excess stress on their decision to work, there is no research body that solidifies the concepts that a stay at home mother saves her child or children from detrimental emotional and/or educational effects.
Truth is a mother’s absence may affect a child negatively, but that impact is not more severe than if the mother does not work, because there are factors, such as poverty, quality childcare and parental education that affect a child (Booth). For example, there are households that live in poverty level and an extra income, other than the father’s, could make a difference. Indicatively, in 1981, in the 60 percent of all married couples with children (under 18 years of age) both parents were earners (Sherman Grossman). The increased divorce rates and the economic problems that the world has experienced from the 1980s and onwards, resulted in one in four children to be living with a single parent (their mother). Hence, work, for many mothers was a necessity, not only because they wanted to provide for their children, but because mothers could also increase their options through employment, in regards their child’s education and nutrition (Sherman Grossman).
Another study has also shown that children that had to go to childcare, provided it was a quality childcare situation, had remarkable effects on their cognitive and social development (Figes). Furthermore, it has been evidenced that a trained nursery worker can motivate a child with a number of educational games and toys that a staying at home child would otherwise be missing (Figes).
Interestingly, children whose mothers are stay at home mothers show little interest in getting an education, because they fail to see the reason why one should be educated, which is why parental education is paramount (Figes). In fact, it is believed that a child’s success is affected by parental education to a great extent. Moreover, studies have found that children whose parents both work got higher grades in school and scored higher on intelligence tests, while feeling less pressure about it (Greenstein). Therefore, working mothers seem to be providing an excellent role model for their children, showing them how to be responsible, independent, and achievement-oriented.
What is more, studies have found that children of working mothers have the same antisocial behaviors, anxiety and/or stress-related problems as children whose mothers do not work. What was different between children of working and staying at home mothers was that the first has higher expectations from themselves, especially the daughters of working mothers (Greenstein). Also, children of working mothers felt more in control of their environment and did not have as many stereotyped gender-role attributes. In regards the behavioral problems that many claim are more intense among children whose mothers work, research has shown the opposite. It has been found that early maternal employment has no adverse effects on the children. In detail, children of working mothers had successfully passed the Peaboy Picture Vocabulary Test-Revised (PPVT-R) (Greenstein)
A Staying-At-Home Mother’s Negative Impacts
A staying-at-home mother is usually a woman with not as many social contacts as a working mother, and there come times when she feels isolated to her immediate surroundings. Other than that, the daily routine’s monotony and the rather limited interaction with other adults make them feel frustrated from their social network and/or family (Greenstein). Being in that state of mind can easily lead to depression and there are many cases where mothers that lack the needed adult support feel overwhelmed by everything that lies ahead of them.
Other than that, staying-at-home mothers decide to stay at home to raise their child and help him or her do good at school and grow up an emotionally balanced individual. However, it is the amount of quality time that a mother spends with her child, rather the quantity, and, unfortunately, a nonworking mother spends a big portion of her time doing household chores, among other tasks, so to keep the house tidy and running. This routine limits the quality time she spends at home with her child or children. Judging by the results, a working mother’s child has probably more quality time with the mother than a child of a nonworking mother.
On the other hand, pediatricians insist that a mother’s presence in her child’s life is significant, especially during the tender years from infancy to pre-school age; therefore, she should stay at home and no work outside the home. A mother that is present in a child’s life at all times allows a close mother-child bond to develop, easing the parent-child communication, especially during the high school years. Also, the moral values and attention the child receives from the nonworking mother is believed to become the child’s guide later on in his or her life and help him or her make right choices and decisions (Seagul).
Myths about Working Mothers
Interestingly, an article in Working Mothers magazine, shot down some of the most common myths and perceptions about working mothers. They teamed up with Harris Interactive, a leading market research firm with global recognition, pollsters and surveyed 600 working mothers. A common feeling among mothers that have to leave their home and children to work is guilt, for not being that much around their children. Many claim that the children of working mothers feel resentful and abandoned when their mothers open the door to go to work. According to the survey’s findings, the daughters that had their mother at home all the time and those whose mother was working never experienced any of the aforementioned feelings. On the contrary, they all gave high marks to their mothers for being there for them, most of the times, if not always (Galinsky & Lapinski). The majority of the women surveyed agreed that “when we evaluate our working mothers and the way they cared for us, we think of them as mothers first, rather than in terms of being employed or not” (Galinsky & Lapinksi 46). When asked how satisfied working mothers feel in their daily lives for mixing motherhood and work, 40 percent answered that they feel very fulfilled, 50 percent said they feel somewhat fulfilled, and only a mere one percent did not feel fulfilled at all (Galinsky & Lapinksi). Furthermore, the majority of the working women surveyed strongly stressed that being successful as mothers was by far more important to them than being career women. According to experts this is the healthiest mindset a working woman can ever adopt, because it is significant that women feel good about themselves as mothers first rather than anything else (Galinsky & Lapinksi). More than half of the women asked, consented that “being a mother is extremely important to [their] sense of well-being” (Galinsky & Lapinksi 48). Therefore, whoever argues that working women do not make good mothers is only delusional.
Another point worth mentioning is how working women actually raise their children. The aforementioned survey answers that question quite clearly. The daughters of working mothers raise their children to be independent and not be financially dependent on anyone. They also teach their daughters to be committed to have a fulfilling family life and a fulfilling working life at the same time. It is important for women to have a successful family and working mothers know that before their daughters come to this understanding. Once a working woman that does well at work and her job is appreciated, is also fulfilled by the life she lives with her family, mission accomplished. That being said; most working mothers of our times have been raised by working mothers themselves. This makes things easier when they want to make their daughters understand that they must support their decisions and be confident about them. They, the mothers, are living examples of the significance to back up each decision in life, be it to work when having children, or any other. If one does not pursuit their dreams, their walk on Earth will seem like an indifferent waste of time. Finally, working mothers pass on to their daughters that it is paramount to spend time with their (the daughters’) children. The mothers become the role model a daughter can refer to when the latter is trying to shape her own role at the early stages. The daughter sees by herself that working and spending time with the children is absolutely doable, because her mother had done so successfully. This helps her balance her need to become and independent and confident woman that makes a living without asking anyone for money, and the need to become a good mother for their children (Galinsky & Lapinksi).
They value what their mothers had given them and also value what they are giving to their children, which makes them feel at peace with themselves. Moreover, loving what they do (the fact that they work and raise their children) can make them excellent role models for their children (Galinsky & Lapinksi).
The Socio-Emotional Behavior of Children with Working Mothers
Obviously, having a mother that works, either as a second working parent or a breadwinner, has several benefits. Apart from serving as a role model, she also brings in extra money that in times like these are not to be disregarded. The question asked is whether there are more drawbacks than benefits of having less parent-child face time. A research conducted by Dr. McMunn, of UCL's Department of Epidemiology and Public Health, researched the socio-emotional behavior of 13,000 children under the age of five years old. The compared children that were growing up in a household where both parents worked, with those in traditional households or lone mothers and unemployed households, or households where the mother was the breadwinner. They looked for any emotional symptoms or behaviors, such as hyperactivity; in other words, the socio-emotional behavior of these children (McMunn et.al.). One would expect a child having a mother that leaves the house to go to work would have behavioral problems, showing that they cannot handle the absence of the mother. However, when researchers compared the number of children that displayed behaviors such as the ones mentioned before between the different types of families, they took into consideration other factors such as the mother’s education and age, the income of the household and the probability of depression. It became straightforward that children of working mothers were well off (McMunn et.al.).
On top of that, in households where both parents were working, it seemed that the most advantageous working arrangement for children of both sexes was that in which both parents were in paid work and present in the household (McMunn et.al.). Therefore, having a mother with a paid job appears to be only beneficial.
Benefits of Being a Working Mother to the Self
Working women are not only mothers and besides the extra money that a woman brings to the family, ensuring a better life for her children and everybody else involved, it also has a positive effect on her own self and health. Based on facts from a recent research conducted by Adrianne Frech, University of Akron Assistant Sociology Professor, mothers that have a full-time job are happier by the age of 40, compared to stay-at-home mothers, mothers that work part-time, or mothers that have some work history but have been experiencing unemployment numerous times (University of Akron). Both Frech and Sara Damaske of Pennsylvania State University and co-author examined longitudinal data from more than 2,500 women that first experienced motherhood between 1978 and 1995. They considered factors, such as race, single motherhood, pre-pregnancy employment, cognitive ability, age at first birth and prior health conditions. The findings of the research, that was presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association, in 2012, were clear, and, to some people, even unexpected. It appears that the choices women make at an early stage in their professional life, have an impact at their health later on in their life (University of Akron). Indicatively, women that had a full-time job and returned to it after having children, report better physical and mental health; they feel more energetic, have greater mobility and less depression, among others, at the age of 40. According to Frech, work is good for a woman’s overall health and gives her a sense of control, purpose, autonomy and self-efficacy (University of Akron). Being an expert on something and actually getting paid for it, generates a series of positive feelings for working women. Undoubtedly, a happy and healthy woman is a mother that has potential to give her child all the best, and in the most positive way. The study has also shown that nonworking mothers –a group of women that Frech calls “persistently unemployed”- will have to face a number of health issues, by their 40’s. For example, women that have been in and out of the workforce and are looking for a job, experience the highs and lows of constantly searching for a job that actually rewards them. Unfortunately, this becomes a non-ending cycle that wears on their mental and physical health (University of Akron).
Compared to working mothers, stay-at-home mothers face several issues. For example, they are always financially dependent individuals with experience social isolation at much higher levels, as already mentioned before. As for those that Frech calls persistently unemployed, they put their health at risk, given that the stress created from work instability can lead to physical health problems. The same applies to women working part-time, which offers them less job security, reduced promotion potential, lower pay and fewer benefits. For that reason, it is paramount women make wise decisions before their first pregnancy so they can enjoy a better overall health later on. Some examples of wise choices may be to complete their education, return to the workforce in a timely manner after having children, and build a work history before deciding to become mothers (University of Akron). However, women are the ones that actually do end up making more trade-offs for family. Frech concludes that women should not allow critical life transitions, such as parenthood and marriage, mean that they should have fewer aspirations from work or invest less in their education because work is proven to make them healthier (University of Akron). Also, in case of a divorce, a working mother can enter the workforce more easily if she already has a strong work history.
The fact that working mothers are healthier women is also evidenced by a UK study. Women from 15 to 54 years old were followed by experts in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health study, and concluded that stay-at-home mothers are more likely to be obese (BBC News). Indicatively, 23 percent of working women were obese compared to the long-term housewives, 38 percent of whom were obese. Truth is working women experience stress when trying to juggle roles. Nevertheless, the researchers claim that it is only short-term stress and the long-term benefits outweigh any temporary inconvenience of any type. In detail, the researchers used a questionnaire to assess the women’s health, and details, such as their marital status, whether they had children, their work history, height and weight were also taken into account, for each decade after their mid-20’s. The analysis of all the aforementioned information showed that women that had been parents, partners, and employees were less likely to have any serious health issues, compared to women that did not fulfil all three roles, who had significantly poorer health (BBC News). Interestingly, researchers mention that these women’s good health was not the cause, but the result of adopting multiple roles, which clearly shows that women who combine motherhood with partnership and employment end up living healthier, hence happier, lives (BBC News).
Conclusion
Working mothers and stay-at-home mothers are not at war, unlike some may want or think. However, whoever insists that working mothers do not make great mothers, can easily find the truth by researching on how healthier and happy working mothers really are. They are raising their child with confidence and respect towards the working women, teach their daughters to appreciate themselves and pursuit their dreams, and ensure a loving and nurturing family environment for their children. At the same time, they are earning extra money that can help better the lives of everyone in the household. A working mother is a woman that feels good for not letting her dream fade and feels proud for being a mother. Miriam Peskowitz, author of The Truth Behind Mommy Wars, ended her book in a representative way. She said “We must expect our lives as parents to be filled with joy, and when we don’t get our way, when our society shows how little it values our work [] we must, indeed, raise a fuss” (234). She urges working women and women that have decided to stay at home and raise their children to follow the example of infants, toddlers and children alike. They expect life to be excellent and when it is not, they know exactly what to do to make things right. Likewise, women should defend their decision to work and have children and expect to live a good and healthy life with it. After all, societies would not have been the way they are today, without working women.
Works Cited
BBC News (2006). “Worker-mothers 'healthiest women.'” BBC News. Web. Sep. 20, 2014 <http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4765411.stm>
Booth, L. (2000). “Working Mothers At Risk From Too Much Guilt.” iVillage Limited
Figes, K. (March 14, 2001). “Home Rules?” The Guardian. Web. Sep. 20,2014 <http://www.theguardian.com/society/2001/mar/14/socialcare1>
Galinsky, Ellen, & Lapinksi, Susan (2005). “Your Mother, yourself.” Working Women. Working Mother Media. Vol. 28, No. 4. ISSN 0278-193X
Greenstein, T.N (1995). “Are the ‘most advantaged’ children truly disadvantaged by early maternal employment?” Journal of Family Issues, 16:149-169.
McMunn A, Kelly Y, Cable N, Bartley M. (2011). “Maternal employment and child socio-emotional behaviour in the UK: longitudinal evidence from the UK Millennium Cohort Study.” Journal of Epidemiol Community Health. doi:10.1136/jech.2010.109553. p.1-6.
Peskowitz, Miriam (2005). “The Truth Behind the Mommy Wars: Who Decides What Makes a Good Mother?” Print. Seal Press. ISBN-10: 1580051294.
Sherman Grossman, Alison (1983). “Children of working mothers.” U.S. Dept. of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics. Bulletin 2158.
Seagull, Elizabeth (1999). “Beyond Mothers and Children: Finding the Family in Pediatric Psychology.” J. Pediatr. Psychol. (2000) 25 (3): 161-169. doi: 10.1093/jpepsy/25.3.161
U.S. Department of Labor (2013). “Latest Annual Data.” Web. Sep. 19, 2014 <http://www.dol.gov/wb/stats/recentfacts.htm>
