American Beauty is a film that appeals to a large number of people, and part of the reason for this is the depth and variety of interpersonal conflicts between characters. In particular, Lester and Carolyn experience a deteriorating relationship with many conflicts arising throughout the film. One such conflict concerns Lester’s resignation from his job. In one scene, this action on Lester’s part causes a serious argument at the dinner table. Both Lester and Carolyn communicate poorly with one another, applying no effective communication skills to the situation.
The row begins when Lester and Carolyn’s daughter, Jane, enters the room and sits down at the table. At this point Lester and Carolyn start arguing, under the guise of informing Jane about the situation. In other words, the two parents address Jane in talking about each other. After a few exchanges, Lester crosses the line in his insults, at which point Carolyn chastises him for speaking to her in such a manner in front of her daughter.
From this point, Carolyn shouts loudly at Lester, using a great deal of sarcasm in her attacks against him. For example, Carolyn says: “I want to thank you for putting me under the added pressure of being the sole bread winner now” (Cohen & Mendes, 1999).
The argument becomes more and more heated, with Lester trying to speak softly and Carolyn interrupting him. Eventually, Lester stands up and throws a plate of food against the wall. He then points at Carolyn, says “Don’t interrupt me,” (Cohen & Mendes, 1999) and sits down again. The scene ends with Lester starting calmly that he thinks they should alternate choice of dinner music, rather than having Carolyn’s every night. Carolyn and Jane are shocked and silent.
Throughout this exchange, Lester and Carolyn communicate very badly. As a starting point, they should not have had this discussion about Lester’s resignation, in front of Jane. Moreover, the two of them should have calmly discussed the situation and listened attentively to each other’s views. The use of a third person, sarcasm, and violence were not appropriate. Carolyn speaks to Lester in a condescending manner, and constantly talks over him; she simply doesn’t listen to him. Conversely, Lester does not reassure Carolyn about her worries concerning his unemployment. Instead, he remains focused on his own desires. Neither of them seems to think about the other’s feelings or needs during this conflict.
As Davidson and Peloquin (1998) stated in Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication: “Asking for and providing clarification and sending clear messages, obtaining feedback to be sure that you are understood, and listening carefully to the feedback are all important components in effective communication” (Davidson & Peloquin, 1998a).
Between them, Lester and Carolyn should have decided when would be an appropriate time and place to discuss the situation. This would be without their daughter present, and probably the following day when they have both had chance to assess their emotions regarding the subject. Also, when talking about Lester’s resignation, they should both have used ‘I’ statements, rather than attacking each other with ‘you’ statements. While the discussion was happening, Lester and Carolyn should have applied Emotional Intelligence and Empathy in communicating effectively with each other (Davidson & Peloquin, 1998b).
If this conversation were to be successful, Carolyn would have given Lester the opportunity to explain why he resigned, and she would have tried to understand. Similarly, Lester should have allowed Carolyn the opportunity to describe her feelings and concerns about his resignation and the impact it may have on the family. At this point, the two of them could have begun to discuss solutions to the potential problems.
This scene is a good example of an interpersonal conflict within American Beauty. Lester and Carolyn disagree with each other, and their methods of communicating their grievances are inappropriate and ineffective.
References
Cohen, B. (Producer), & Mendes, S. (Director). (1999). American beauty [Film]. Los
Angeles: Dreamworks.
Davidson, D and Peloquin, S. (1998a). Chapter 8: Building and Maintaining Relationships.
Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. Amer
Occupational Therapy Assn
Davidson, D and Peloquin, S. (1998b). Chapter 9: Harmony and Discord in Relationships.
Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. Amer
Occupational Therapy Assn
