Reflective Essay
In the past I had a friend who was very close to me. Friendship with that person was important to me and made my life happy. And when one day I found out that she was moving to another country, it changed my life forever. Below I want to describe this experience, some problems it caused for me and the way I solved them.
My friend’s name is Alice. We were friends since childhood, because our families lived in the neighboring houses. We used to spend a lot of time together, inventing some funny games and joining the games played by other kids. It was a great time, we didn’t spend much time in front of computers or TV sets like a lot of kids are doing today. We had real communication and connection – I always had someone to ask for help. Or share my happiness.
We were growing up, changing our characters together and choosing similar hobbies and interests. We went to the same school, and were helping each other a lot. Her parents moved to another house and we weren’t neighbors anymore, we still saw each other a lot and spent our time together with the same joy.
But then there came a moment that I expected the least of all. The moment that changed my life and to which I wasn’t ready. One day she told me that her father received a job in Australia and their family had to move there for at least three years. I just couldn’t believe her. For me it meant that some fundamental part of my life will change. Alice was my support in everything I did. I couldn’t understand how it would be possible to live without that support. I didn’t know with whom to share my feelings and whom to call when I needed to speak with someone who understood me. I knew that Alice understood me better than anyone else, better than parents and other friends.
Thus, I refused to believe what I heard and at first just chose not to think about it. She told me that there were a couple of months left before their departure, and I decided to live the same as before, hoping that maybe something would change and they would stay with us. It is not surprising that I thought so, because it was about 4-5 years ago and I didn’t know how to face such kinds of reality. I chose to believe in some wonder – that this will never happen. But at that time I didn’t know much about the business world and that when your boss sends you to another office – it is serious and that you must go there if you want to keep your job.
As the time was approaching, we didn’t talk a lot about it. But then I started seeing her less and less. They were actively preparing for the trip, and there came the moment when I realized that it is true – it is really happening with me. At that moment I decided to deny everything and the role Alice played in my life. I didn’t answer her calls and when she came to me to say goodbye, I acted in a cold manner – as if I didn’t care. This stage of denial didn’t last for a long time – no longer than a month. Then I received a letter from her and in one moment all the memories that I was suppressing poured like a rain on me.
When I understood that I really missed my friend, I did what I feared most – I faced the reality. My closest friend left and there was a little hope that she would return in three years, as she said. I knew that it was a common practice to leave such workers at new places, which is why I suspected that these three years can turn into much longer period of time. I didn’t know how to live further, especially with all these memories.
In this period of time I was absolutely depressed and didn’t want to see anyone. In a couple of months I started to let it go. I realized that the life wasn’t over and that it was necessary to accept the fact that it will not be the same as before. I started to make new friends, to communicate with other friends. They weren’t my best friends, but were pleasant people to speak with. Gradually, I started enjoying my life more and more and the sore I felt before wasn’t such huge for me.
Now when I analyze my behavior in that period of time, I see that I learned an important lesson when Alice left – I learned how important it is not to keep to your past and be open for future. Yes, it can be frightening, and it is really so. It is always scary to change your life, but it is necessary to bear in mind that it is not necessary for such changes to bring pain in your life. I experienced a very difficult period in those 6 months – from the moment when I heard that Alice would leave until I realized that I had to move on. But today I feel grateful to this period, because now I am not afraid of changes. I understood that they are a part of our lives and that it is better not to resist them if they are meant to happen, but instead accept them with readiness and preparedness.
Today we don’t speak a lot with Alice. Five years passed since the time she lived here. She comes to visit me once each year, and every year I see how much she changes. I see that she is not the same person she used to be here. This change was also very difficult for her, and today she wants to return here, but her parents have work in Australia, and as of today don’t plan to change the place of residence. We are still friends, but not as close as we used to be. And I am glad that it is so.
I see the period when Alice was my best friend as a pleasant and interesting stage of my life, but I know that in the future I will have more experience and that there are a lot of nice things waiting for me. Today I have several friends whom I respect and value. I hope that Alice also enjoys her life today in the other country. Now I believe that everything that happens is really for the better.
