Introduction
Applied social psychology focuses on all aspects of interpersonal relationships, identifying ways in which psychology can be used in enhancing them. As such, this review identifies various theories in applied social psychology in the explanation of romantic experiences. Additionally, it will examine the assumptions about love as a social and psychological construct that can be modeled to fit the modern dating traditions (Heinrich, & Johannes, 2008). This perspective arises from the understanding that societal norms have a significant influence on love. For example, the society defines the characteristics of a good looking partner or a good wife through positive and negative criticism. The paper will review several articles covering different psychological theories about romantic experiences.
Swami & Premuzic (2010) investigate the interrelations between Sternberg's three dimensions of love and the length of romantic experiences. Sternberg’s three-dimensional theory states that development and sustainability of an ideal, meaningful love experience require intimacy, commitment, and passion. To investigate this concept, a total of 16,030 participants took online surveys where the duration of their love attraction towards their partners was assessed in contrast with intimacy, commitment, and passion. The results revealed that commitment is the greatest factor that determines how long feelings of love will persist. Passion has the least impact in determining the strength of one’s love. This study has important implication in relationship counselling and matchmaking as well.
Wakin & Vo (2010) draw from the theory of attachment developed by John Bowlby (1969) on the role of passion/limerence in intimacy and love as developed by Psychologist Dorothy Tennov (1979) in her book, “Love and Limerence”. Their findings show that a fruitful love experience must exhibit a significant level of passion and desire. Passion is a strong emotional desire and enthusiasm towards someone where a victim experiences an intense longing for union with that person. The paper identifies the initiating force, driving force, and obsession as the functional components of passion in love. The authors suggest that for one to develop a passionate desire towards a person, he/she must cognitively identify with the target’s personal attributes (Wakin & Vo, 2007). As such, this includes the personality, physical attraction, behavior, and other personal attributes that agree with one’s perception, beliefs, and desires.
According to Barrett, & Pietromonaco (2008) a partner responsiveness, and self-disclosure contribute to intimacy experiences. The concept can be explained using the self perception theory that posits that people develop attitudes through observation of their behaviors, which facilitates the identification of emotions that could have caused such behavior. Based on this theory, people are able to develop intimacy when partners reveal their emotions to them. As such, this means that personal interactions, which are based on human behaviors, are essential in nurturing intimacy when two people are dating. This research can be used in improving online dating because it enumerates the significance of personal interaction factors such as tone and loudness of voice, facial expressions, and body movements, making sense of smell, sight, and mood of the environment in the development of intimacy (Lunenburg, 2010). Computer-mediated communication instruments make it easy for individuals to identify each other and communicate interests, but fail to facilitate the experience of these factors.
Davis & Boudreaux (2010) suggest that similarity and physical attraction have the greatest influence on the development of attraction. The social exchange theory can be imperative when explaining the input of every partner in a relationship, which determines the kind of relationship that people maintain. A study involving 206 university students of at least 18 years sought to prove this analogy. The participants were asked to identify the characteristics that drew them to their partners. Seventy-nine percent of the students regarded personality over physical attraction and success, where 98% of them viewed fun as the most important trait. Most of the students reported that they met their partners in educational settings and through friends. This article is relevant to the psychology of love because it exposes the complexity of love and adds knowledge of interpersonal romantic attraction (Davis & Boudreaux, 2010). The findings in this study indicate aspects of the social exchange theory that determines the input of a partner towards developing a good relationship.
Riela, et. Al. (2010), suggest that there are various precursors to falling in love, and they vary from person to the other. Such precursors include filling needs, specific cues, similarity, personality, reciprocal liking and isolation among others. Riela, et. al, (2010) adopts the individualism –collectivism model in their focus on understanding the factors and issues surrounding intimacy and love. In their study and explanation of the model Riela, et. al, (2010) presents various precursors, which are essential for the development of meaningful romantic relationships. For instance, the development of a valued and beneficial romantic experience requires respect and compassion, which can also be characterized by arousal that a person can identify through exemplified heartbeats. Additionally, it can also include specific cues such as the shape of the eyes and smile, which an individual can perceive as strong attraction indicators.
The attachment theory assumes that strong emotional and physical attachment is essential because they offer the conceptual linkage between the models of human development and the modern theories of personality and emotional regulations. In Finkel’s argument, online dating provides a suitor with an opportunity to learn many facts about a person in a short period before meeting them. This experience is different from the conventional approach where one slowly learns the details of a potential partner through interactions either in social settings or face-to-face. Understanding the adaptive responses of a person through awareness of another person’s character plays an imperative role in the development of attachments between people. It is of importance to online dating and matching industry in pointing out the need to develop new capabilities that support greater romantic experiences.
Should Alisha choose to set up an online dating business, she must develop measures that promote emotional communication, which is extensively missing in computer-mediated communication. The basic intervention involves developing technologies that will facilitate real-time communication of specific emotions such as anxiety, joy and frustration (Wang, Prendinger, & Igarashi, 2004). As such, it includes the use of computer effects such as animated images, sounds, and videos. Additionally, she should consider including a necessary video communication capabilities to facilitate the experience of certain aspects such as facial expressions, body movements, and tone of voice. Unfortunately, other aspects of emotional communication such as smell and temperature will be lacking. Therefore, her dating model should encourage face-to-face meetings.
References
Ahmetoglu, G., Swami, V., & Premuzic, T. (2010). The Relationship Between Dimensions of Love, Personality, and Relationship Length. Archives of sexual behavior, 1181-1190.
Davis, P. B., & Boudreaux, C. (2010). The Social Psychology of Love and Attraction. McNair Scholars Journal, 6-15.
Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P., Karney, B., Reis, H., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Pyschological Science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 3-66.
Heinrich, D., & Johannes, H. (2008). Measuring Brand Love: Applying Sternberg's Triangle Theory of Love in Consumer-Brand Relatios. Proceedings of the 2008 Australian & New Zealand Marketing Academy Conference, 1-9.
Laurenceau, J.-P., Barrett, L., & Pietromonaco, P. (2008). Intimacy as an Interpersonal Process: The Importance of Self-Disclosure, Partner Disclosure, and Perceived Partner Responsiveness in Interpersonal Exchange. Journal of Personality and social Psychology, 1238-1256.
Lunenburg, F. C. (2010). Communication: The Process, Barriers, and Improving Effectiveness. Schooling, 1-11, 1(1).
Riela, S., Rodriguez, G., Aron, A., Xu , X., & Acevedo, B. (2010). Experiences of falling in love: Investigating culture, ethnicity, gender, and speed. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 473-493.
Wakin, A., & Vo, D. (2007). Love-Variant: The Wakin - Vo I.D.R. Model of Limerence. Archives of General Psychiatry, 946-955.
Wang, H., Prendinger, H., & Igarashi, T. (2004). Communicating Emotions in Online Chat Using Physiological Sensors and Animated Text. CHI'04 extended abstracts on Human factors in computing systems.
