INTRODUCTION: The term divorce in many aspects of life indicates negative impacts to the children. Research indicates that divorce has also beneficial effects to the children of the affected families. To many, the mention of the term divorces to them, divorce cannot have anything positive, but keen studies show that divorce has some benefits.
THESIS: Children should be involved in divorce.
POSITION 1: Divorce increases the understanding and health relationship of the children who get involved in divorce situations.
A).It is the observation of the proponents of divorce that those children, whose parents get divorced, have a better understanding in life as compared to the children who have not experienced divorce cases (Amatea 103). The children who have once been involved in divorce by their parents are more cooperative and responsive to their immediate environment than their counterparts who are in the same ground for childhood. Researchers interested in matters of divorce explain that children who have experienced divorce are more focused on life, caring, and loving compared to other children. These children are more motivated and have a high level of self-esteem. The behavior exhibited by these children links to the hardship circumstances they passed when the parents separated thus making them more adaptive and practical in life (Harvey 235).
B) The children whose parents divorced have excellent relationships as compared to those from families which has not experienced divorce. These children have strong emotional attachment to the extended family members. They make the members of the extended family and their friends become their priority in their lives. This means that the children at this situation are in dire need of attachment as one of the psychological needs for health growth and development (Linley 76).
POSITION 2: The facts available among the researchers on the divorce issues and its effects have put that divorce makes children respectable members of the society. This is particular to the children who have experienced cases of domestic violence in their homes. The children in most cases in such situations experienced their parents fight in the open thus these children will come to hate violence and its related activities. The child will grow up and will hate vices in life and those who perpetuate vices in the society. When these children grow up as adults, they will become responsible members of the society and they are more likely to promote the well-being of the society. It has been observed many individuals in the nongovernmental organizations who participate for the noble cause of the society are most from backgrounds, which experienced divorce, or their parents divorced. Thus, divorce is as a tool for taking the society to grater heights in terms of virtues (Harvey 235).
POSITION 3: Divorce to the children is an effective means to free them from the hostile environment of constant conflict. This provides an option to unhappy marriages to guarantee peace of mind and better in the lives of the children. This provides the children with an opportunity grow well in an enabling environment. This will enable the children to explore other environments, which can give them happiness, which can be from immediate relatives and close members of the society (Segrin 123).
POSITION 4: Research had shown that the children, who are being exposed to divorce case when they were young, tackle life challenges easily than those who did not experience divorce. Since these children are left in their tender ages, they become hardy in life by adopting the roles, which was initially performed by their parents, and they do by themselves. Boys will start performing the masculine activities in the family thus make them responsible when they get their families. The boys will perform the roles, which could have been performed by their fathers. On the other hand, the girls will assume the feminine roles such as cooking, washing, and fetching water (Howe 80). These roles will make them more proficient when they get their families in the future. This makes the girls to be exceptionally flexible women in the society due to abrupt increased responsibilities and challenges that they face after the divorce of the parents (Linley 76).
POSITION 5: Divorce can provide the children with an avenue to succeed in their endeavors i.e. academically, in their future businesses, and in their economic development. This will be possible if the divorce case proceeds to legal redress. The children will benefit, as the courts will award them the rights to manage the properties left by the two parents. These resources can be in the form of cash in the bank, buildings, and other assets. If the parents were in employment, the children because of a court order have part of the salary awarded to them. This can will boost their economic stability in the future thus making divorce as a source of wealth only when there is court address to the divorce case (Segrin 123).
REBBUTAL 1: The opponents of divorce with children argue that the divorce can produce children who abuse substances. Research on the children who have experienced divorce indicates that these children are more likely to indulge themselves in abuse of substances. Because of lack of parental guidance, the children can start taking drugs. These, in their view, will suppress the stress they are passing through, and the majority of them indulge themselves with these drugs at a tender age thus eventually become drug addicts. Majority of them according to the proponents of divorce will join the street families hence leading a miserable life in the future. The divorce opponents also puts that children from the divorced families develop mental illness and some will turn to be criminals in the society. The divorce issue will expose the children to early sexual activities does endangering their lives. These children can be exposed to early pregnancies especially the girls and can lead the children contact serious sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS and gonorrhea among other diseases. The children can risk being abused by the members of the society so that they make ends meet. They can be employed in the firms to provide cheap labor (Linley 76).
REBBUTAL 2: In addition, the critics of divorce argue that divorce will lead to the children affected by divorce to drop out from school. This situation comes because of inadequate encouragement and motivation from the parents, inadequate resources to cater for educational materials, and psychological disturbances, which can hinder proper learning. Because of immense psychological traumas due to the effects of divorce, researchers have found that the affected children perform dismally in class. It is further observed that the children will post low grades and are fond of repeating classes. This will affect the performance of the child thus making the child unable to proceed with schooling due to prevailing harsh condition on the schooling environment (Segrin 123).
REBBUTAL 3: Development, emotionally, physically and financially is the main reasons why a family exists. When a family divorces, the flow of money, which is a sign of progress and development, is hindered. The development of both parties and their children’s future is therefore hindered. The changes in the work, housing, leisure, and entertainment affect all the parties negatively (Linley 76).
Works Cited
Amatea, Ellen .Love and intimate relationships: Journeys of the heart. London: Psychology
Press. 2000, Print.
Linley, Alex. Trauma, recovery, and growth: Positive psychological perspectives on
posttraumatic stress. New York, NY: John Wiley and Sons. 2008, Print.
Harvey, John. Handbook of divorce and relationship dissolution. Chicago, CA: Routledge. 2006,
Print.
Howe, Tasha. Marriages and Families in the 21st Century: A Bioecological Approach. New
York, NY: John Wiley & Sons. 2011, Print.
Segrin, Chris. Family communication: Chicago, CA: Routledge. 2005, Print.
