Background
The quality of marriage is a very essential part of the family life that influences the health and well-being of an individual. Several studies have associated the quality of marriage to the quality of life of people. Some studies reported that a better marital quality is closely linked to less depression resulting to better health. To cut short, better marital quality may lead to a positive outcome in life. There are several factors that determine the quality of a good marriage. Some of these factors include ethnicity, gender and the like (Bowman and Dollahite).
At present, there has been a revolutionary change all over the world in the aspect of mate selection. The modernization of culture via Westernization and pressures from the government resulted to some parents paving way for their children to choose their so-called “love matches.” Instead of the parents selecting their children’s match, it is the children that dominate in selecting their ideal partner in marriage.
However, it does not necessarily follow that when children are free from the control of their family to justify the criteria for selection, the end result is always a happy marriage and happy individuals. It may be true that some people find themselves stuck in marriages with others whom they find repulsive (Xiaohe et al.). It may also be true that people cannot do anything with the partners that were chosen by their parents for them based on stature, wealth, and other standards. If such is always expected when the marriage is arranged, then how come there is a high rate of divorce in the Western Society?
The Nature of Arrange Marriage
Arranged marriage is when children do not decide to choose their marital partners. This type of marriage is very common is Asia, Africa and the Middles East. Non-arranged marriage is very typical of the United States and other Western part of the world. To date, both arranged and non-arranged marriage systems co-exist in this world. Of the 6.5 billion population all over the world, 3.7 billion or sixty percent are in Asia while those in Oceania regions such as Australia, New Zealand, Melanesia, Micronesia, and Polynesia comprises 0.5% of the total population. Statistics shows that of the sixty percent Asian population count, one third of the total Asian population practiced the traditional arranged marriage (Menhdirata, Paul and Menhdirata). In Japan, about twenty five to thirty percent of all the marriages taking place at least during the 1990s are arranged marriage (Applbaum). In Africa, the primary type of marriage in 85% of the 190 hunter-gatherer societies is based on closed kin or through parents. Bride-service, bride-price, or other types of exchange between two families comprises 80% of the population while 20% of the 87% of the population are married through polygyny (Walker et al.).
While the marriage customs and practices in the African hunter-gatherers society indicate a deep history or moderated marriage, bride-service and bride-price are fundamental to the economic aspects of the regulated exchanges in mates. Low levels of polygynous marriage suggest the evenness in such exchanges (Walker et al.). However, in the case of Japan, arrange marriage does not necessarily involved social, economic and family obligations. Oftentimes, an arranged marriage to the opposite end must be of known background as opposed to a complete stranger. The potential spouse is related to oneself through an arbitrator who has an inkling of both parties so that he or she could vouch for the aptness of such marriage.
Understanding the Difference between Arranged and Forced Marriages
It should be noted that an arranged marriage does not necessarily equate to forced marriage that oftentimes, lead in cases of publicized tragedies. Arranged marriage is either by the choice of the parents or the choice of the partners that typically reflects the values of the parents.
According to Jain, forced marriages involve armed conflicts that are very typical in Sierra Leone, Cambodia, Rwanda, and Uganda. A forced marriage is considered as an abuse of the human rights. It violates the international norms of the human rights on the freedom to enter into a marriage, and to enter to body and sexual integrity. The right to marry freely with full consent was mandated by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1948. There is also a ratified law against child marriages that has been drafted in the Convention on the Elimination of All forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) indicating that “the betrothal and the marriage of a child shall have no legal effect.” However, despite this law, several countries allow young people who are 18 and below to marry with parental consent. In forced marriages, girls rarely meet or get the chance to know their future husband first before the wedding and at least one of both parties are dragged into a marriage that is against their will and oftentimes under pressure. Arranged marriage, on the other hand, allows both parties who were set up by parents or relatives to get know each other before their union takes place (Sabbe et al.).
Evidences of Low Divorce Rates in Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages have prevailed over thousands of years and are widely established among various cultures all over the world. As opposed to the common notion, arranged marriages are not entirely forced. In societies like India, there is always the assumption that both parties have the right to refuse thereby limiting the incidence of force marriages. In contemporary arranged marriages in India, two consenting adults choose each other as romantic partners and eventually seek the approval of their parents. These two individuals will still have to go through the formal processes of arranged marriages in order to honor their personal choice and respect the sanctity of marriage between two families in the most profound ways.
It has been demonstrated in various studies that the difference in the dynamics of couples vis-a-vis their marital satisfactions under an arranged and non-arranged marriage are usually insignificant. The scores of the elements for a happy and lasting marriage such as passion, intimacy, and commitment do not differ significantly between an arranged and non-arranged marriage. Some studies even show that there is also a lower rate of divorce in arranged married couples that non-arrange married couples. These results indicate that there are elements that benefit the quality of marriage and satisfaction, longevity and stability in arranged marriages (Bowman and Dollahite).
In a study of 50 couples in India, results revealed that love in love marriages diminishes over time while love in arranged marriages grows over time. According to Athappilly (as cited by Epstein et al.), the satisfaction rate of couples under an arranged marriage set-up may surpass the said rate in love marriages in the U.S. In Japan, one study shows that the collective satisfaction in marriage for both male and female was higher in arranged marriage as compared to that of love marriages. Japanese couples also scored higher marital satisfaction level that Americans. However, men are more satisfied than women with respect to the arranged marriage set up. This result is probably attributed to the patriarchal nature of the Japanese society where there is a strict division of labor between men and women. That is; in an arranged marriage or “miai” wives are tasked to serve their husbands and raise their children (Blood, as cited by Epstein).
The Secret in a Long and Lasting Arranged Marriage
It is often argued that the complete freedom to choose marital partners does not necessarily mean that one will achieve marital success and stability in the future. Similarly it does not also mean that all arranged marriages are perfect. Instead, there are factors that may preclude the success and happiness in a marriage such as attitudes and behaviors, commitment and devotion, and other related factors.
How does a successful union in an arranged marriage occur? Determining the factors that contribute to a long and lasting marriage can become very challenging because there is a wide range of perspective to consider along with the various cultures that practice an arranged marriage. The current findings of Bowman and Dollahite in the case of India indicate that marital satisfaction in an arranged marriage is primarily attributed to the (1) example set by the parents and family; (2) parental wisdom in choosing the right spouse; (3) kinship and religious-related expectations; (4) family support; (5) focus in family and religious activities; (6) family-oriented sacrifices; (7) core values of family and religion; (8) commitment to God and family; and (9) family and religious-inspired happiness.
Epstein and colleague also showed that the love that commitment is also a very important aspect of a lasting arranged marriage. In cultures that practices arranged marriage, there is a belief among people that they could use a degree of positive control throughout the course of the marriage and over the feelings that spouses develop for each other.
Conclusions
Marriage is a very integral part of the family life. It is also the cornerstone of the societies and cultures all over the world. The Westernization of some parts of the world allowed people to freely choose their partners. However, arranged marriages still prevail in the Asian culture. There is a pervasive notion in Western cultures that an arranged marriage often results to a tragic ending between two couples. Sometimes, arranged marriages are also equated to forced marriage. However, forced marriage is very different in a way that children are compelled against their wishes, while in an arranged marriage both parties have the right to refuse. With the growing number of divorce in the population of love marriages or non-arranged marriages, it only shows that there is no guarantee to a happy ending. However, studies revealed that couples who are under an arranged marriage set-up indicated a higher satisfaction rate in their marriage than those who are under a love marriage set-up in U.S. Indeed, there are elements in arranged marriage that contribute to the long and lasting relationship and the high satisfaction rate among couples such as honoring commitment and family and religious values.
References
Applbaun, K. D. “Marriage with the proper stranger: Arranged marriage in metropolitan Japan.” Ethnology, 34.1(1995): 37-51. Print.
Bowman, J. L., & D. C. Dollahite. "Why would such a person dream about heaven?" family, faith, and happiness in arranged marriages in India. Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 44.2 (2013): 207-X. Print.
Epstein, R., M. Pandit, & M. Thakar. “How love emerges in arranged marriages: Two cross-cultural studies.” Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 44.3(2013): 341-XI.
Jain, N. “Forced marriage as a crime against humanity problems of definition and prosecution.” Journal of International Criminal Justice, 6.5(2008): 1013-1032. Print.
Mehndiratta, M. M., B. Paul & P. Mehndiratta. “Arranged marriage, consanguinity and epilepsy.” Neurology Asia, 12/Supplement 1 (2007): 15 – 17. Print.
Sabbe, A. H. Oulami, W. Zekraoui, H. Hikmat, M. Temmerman & E. Leye. “Determinants of child and forced marriage in Morocco: stakeholder perspectives on health, policies and human rights.” BMC International Health and Human Rights, 13(2013): 43. Print.
Walker, R. S., K. R. Hill, M. V. Flinn & R. M. Ellsworth. “Evolutionary history of hunter-gatherer marriage practices.” PLoS ONE, 6.4(2011): e19066. Print.
Xiaohe, X. & M. K. Whyte. “Love matches and arranged marriages: A Chinese replication.” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52.3 (1990): 709-722.
