“Close relationships sometimes mask poor communication” is an article, which discusses one of the most frequently met problems of modern families. Indeed, a lot of people face such problem as miscommunication between spouses, close friends and relatives. In my opinion, Boaz Keysar gave a very good explanation of the problem and its roots: “…closeness can lead people to overestimate how well they communicate” (as cited in “Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication”, 2011).
People tend to think that they know well their spouse, best friend, etc. However, in spite of all closeness, it is still impossible to be absolutely sure about somebody’s words or intentions. As the saying goes, the human heart is a mystery. I suggest that these words describe well our situation.
Miscommunication is especially well seen on the example of marriages, when wife and husband cannot understand each other. It is even possible to say that this phenomenon has universal character. Frequently, such poor communication is explained by the fact that men and women have absolutely different styles of communication. It is important to note that such interpretation of the problem is not exactly correct, because the same miscommunication can often occur between close friends or relatives of the same sex. Consequently, poor communication is a result of something else. Thus, for instance, people often tend to think that they have a great insight and can easily guess thoughts and intentions of our closest people. Without any doubts, there are such people who have a very keen insight. However, the majority of people overestimate their abilities.
Like many other people, I had several cases of miscommunication with my close friends and relatives. In the majority of cases, such situations occurred, because I was too confident in my abilities to guess what they want. I also had some unpleasant situations, when poor communication was caused by lack of understanding and holding back my opinion in certain situations.
For instance, once I had a sad misunderstanding with my mother. During a short trip abroad, I bought her a few expansive fashionable clothes. I thought she might like them and looked forward to her cheerful reaction. However, although she said she liked the items, I felt that something was wrong. I decided that my mother did not like the present, but lately she told me that she became upset only because she was afraid that I spent too much money on them.
I believe that all people at least once in their lives experience similar situations. I think that it is normal, because despite our closeness, our friends, relatives, partners are individuals, and sometimes it is simply impossible to make a right guess. In my opinion, the best way to avoid miscommunication in the future is to discuss such cases with your partner. Keeping silence is one of the biggest mistakes. Moreover, it is necessary to communicate, because it is the only way to avoid poor communication.
Some people think that it is better to hide their dissatisfaction, but it is impossible to build healthy relationship and hide all your complaints and criticism. It is truth that sometimes it is better to say nothing. However, people should remember that it is not a universal panacea and problems should be discussed. As practice shows, sometimes it is the only possible way to save your marriage from miscommunication.
References
Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication. (2011). HealthDay News. Retrieved from http://health.usnews.com
The Perils of Miscommunication to a Relationship & Marriage. (n.d.). Howe to Survive an Affair. Retrieved from http://www.howtosurviveanaffair.net
