Can we Talk? is an interesting article, mainly focussing on the importance of self-disclosure in personal relationships. It makes for interesting reading but while I agree on some of its points, I feel they are over-stated.
I can certainly relate to the subject of self-disclosure in relationships. I have had relationships where the other person almost never spoke about themselves, and this always led to problems. The main difficulty was that without a growing knowledge of the other person, the relationship has little hope of ever developing into something meaningful and lasting.
I agree that self-disclosure is directly related to satisfaction in relationships. Without a certain degree of self-disclosure, the two people in a relationship can start to feel isolated and as though they are spending time with someone who they do not even know; the partnership can begin to seem superficial to one or both parties. However, I do not agree with the suggested rule of ten minutes per day of self-disclosure. I believe that self-disclosure should occur naturally and when appropriate. Setting time aside each day seems too manufactured and false.
I have found many similarities between genders in terms of communication. Both men and women struggle to talk about issues which worry or upset them. This may seem an obvious point; however, while some people find it easier than others to speak about such matters, I have not found a vast difference between men and women in this respect. I probably do fit into the research generalisations on gender. Although generalisations are often frowned upon, the important thing to remember about them is that they are ‘generally’ true; generalisations are as such for a reason.
I enjoyed reading Can we Talk? And reflecting on its points. However, while I agree that self-disclosure is an important part of a mutually satisfying relationship, the ten-minute-a-day suggestion seems too false to be healthy.
References
Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication.
Schoenberg, N. (2011). Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in
happy marriages. McClatchy-Tribune News Service. Retrieved from ProQuest
Newsstand. Document ID: 2240370261
