Describe the child’s gender and age. Note the physical characteristics such as color of skin, hair eyes etc. Is an adolescent typically developing or has special needs? Include any special needs like physical or learning disabilities:
The child is 13 years old. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, and is approximately 5’2’’. She is slightly overweight for her height, but her weight fluctuates regularly. She is Caucasian. She has certain special needs, though mainly due to mental distress due to family issues. She has been through a great deal of stress in the past two years due to an abusive father and an unstable family situation due to the consequences.
Her family is not a typical two-parent household.
She was living in a core family unit of six, including mother, father, older brother (now 19), and older sister (now 17), but that ceased two years ago due to the father being incarcerated after physically abusing her mother (36) and older brother.
Ages of brothers and sisters:
Older brother (19) and older sister (17).
Description of extended family living in house:
The family then moved in with the mother’s parents, in their 50s, causing some instability in her upbringing.
Since then, the older brother’s girlfriend has also moved in, causing cramped quarters. Her mother’s boyfriend of now 1 ½ years also lives with them.
Does all your family live in the same house? If not, where do they live?
Who are people in your family with whom you feel you have a good relationship? Tell me about this (these) relationship(s)?
She feels that she has a good relationship with her immediate family, with the exception of her father.
Who are the people in your family that you fight with or disagree with the most often? Tell me about this? (Ask what the issues are where you have these disagreements.)
She notes that her older sister has gone through a phase where she was addicted to marijuana, was in an unstable relationship with her boyfriend, and stole money from their mother. She also has mixed feelings regarding her father.
Who do you feel in your family listens to you the most? (What kind of topics, concerns do you share?
She truly respects her older brother, who stood up to defend their mother against their abusive father. At the same time, she still harbors some feelings of longing for her father, since she was only 11 when the abusive incident occurred.
In making decisions, setting rules or talking about life do you think that parents are always right? Why do you think that they are right or not right?
She fights most often with her grandfather, who she (and her mother) think is too controlling. There are also problems between her and her mother’s new boyfriend, who she likes a lot but does not think gives her the attention she deserves. These issues mainly occur when she is home alone with one or the other of them. She feels that, of everyone in her family, her mother listens to her the most, though she has now become much more extroverted and tries to rely mainly on her friends outside of the family unit.
What types of things are parents usually right about?
She does not believe that parents are always right, in fact, she regularly disobeys them without punishment.
What types of things are they less right about:
She does not feel that she is all that different from her mother in terms of maturity level. After all, her mother had her first child when she was not much older than she is, and she still cannot hold down a job.
How do your parents handle it when you disagree with them about decisions or issues?
She does think that her parents are usually right in looking after her best interests, but she does not think that they understand or fully process her need to rebel. She feels strongly that she is not heard enough in terms of her opinion when it comes to decisions or issues. She is usually not fully punished for any infractions, and knows this. Her parents do not follow through with punishment.
How would you describe your parents? Authoritarian, friendly?
She thinks that their former alcohol abuse has made them incapable of making proper decisions for her or letting her be a child. At the same time, she considers her parents (meaning her mother and her boyfriend) quite friendly, and really considers them more as friends than as authoritarian figures- that is reserved for her grandparents.
If you were in trouble and needed help who in your family would you go to? Why would you go to this person??
If she were in trouble, she says, she would go to her cousin Ashley, who is outside of the core family unit. She says this is because Ashley has always gone out of her way to be there for her.
If you wouldn’t go to anyone in your family who else would you go to for help when you were in trouble?
She says that if she wouldn’t go to anyone in her family, she would go to her friend Martina. They are very close and spend most of their time together.
Talk about what you think is the importance and value of school:
When it comes to school, it is a rollercoaster for this girl. She sees little to no value in it whatsoever, and goes simply to be around friends, according to her.
What do you believe you learn in school?
She does not see much importance or value in school, and says she will probably end up working in a gas station regardless. She has been known to humiliate gas station attendants by telling them this. She does not see any importance in school whatsoever- “my mother and her boyfriend both have GEDs.” She does believe that you learn how to socialize in school, but doesn’t see the need for her to do that herself: “I’m already popular.”
Talk about your favorite subjects in school:
Her favorite subject, she says, is sick days.
What do you like best about school? What do you like least:
She likes being around friends, but hates having to be present.
If you were in charge of creating a school, what would it be like? (Ask for description):
When asked what she would do if she were in charge of creating a school, she says she wouldn’t bother, because she sees no point.
How important do you think grades are? Why do you think they are important or not important?
On the topic of grades, she admits that she often gets poor marks, and is admittedly happier when she doesn’t.
How much do you think grades motivate you to work harder:
She says her mother’s boyfriend in particular makes it a priority to help her with her schoolwork, and she feels proud when she can bring home good marks.
How do grades affect your feelings about school:
She admits she is motivated by them, but it is more the idea of pleasing her mother’s boyfriend than of getting good grades. She also admits, though, that when she is getting bad grades, she is less likely to want to go to school, and that she becomes demotivated, feeling she cannot improve no matter what.
What do you think about someone who cheats on homework assignments or exams:
She claims to have never cheated on homework or exams, but does not entirely fault those who do, saying they are meaningless.
Would you tell on someone if you knew they were cheating? Why or why not:
She says she would not tell on someone cheating because that would be violating trust, even if it is just implied.
Do you think cheating has any effect on everyone’s overall grades:
She does not think cheating affects everyone’s’ grades, “because it’s usually just a one-time thing.”
Have you given any thought to what kind of a career you might want to try when you are done with school:
In terms of success, she apparently is not interested in it. “My mother isn’t successful, and I won’t be either.”
Do you have any interests that you think might lead to a career choice:
She suggests she will probably become a bartender, like her mother. She says she is popular, and takes pride in that.
Do you plan to go to college? Why or why not:
She laughs. “Who wants to waste time and money on that?”.
How are you going to decide about a career or type of work:
She laughs again. “I’ll take what I get and go with it.’’
What do you think defines success in this world? How will you achieve that:
She quotes her mother: “There’s no real success. Just people who think they have it. Find happiness first.”
Describe someone at your school who is “unpopular.” How does popularity at school affect someone’s outlook on school? What do you think about those who are unpopular:
“I try not to be mean to the unpopular kids, but they don’t help themselves. There’s so much to make fun of.” She describes one girl who always eats lunch in the band room. “There’s no helping her.”
What are the religious beliefs or practices that you were raised with in your family:
In terms of religion, her family is Catholic, but does not attend church regularly. The main religious force in the family is her grandmother.
Do you actively practice any religious beliefs? Do you practice a “faith” in some other less traditional way:
They do not attend church regularly, and so she considers it less traditional, though she believes in God.
Have your religious beliefs or practices changed in the last two years? If so, in what ways have they changed?
Her religious beliefs, she admits, have changed drastically in the past two years, but she cannot describe how (this goes back to the incident with her father, which she is still struggling with).
Do you believe that God or some Spirit loves or watches over and takes care ofhumankind?
She does believe that god loves her and watches over her, though she doesn’t know about all of humankind.
Talk about why you do or don’t believe this?
She says this is because God allowed her mother, siblings, and herself to get out of the domestic abuse situation. She does not know exactly how she lives out her values in day to day life, but she does say that she always tries to help others out in need.
What are the values or principles you live your life by? Provide an example of how you live out your values day by day in real life? What changes do you feel need to happen in our society to make it a more “moral” place?
“I don’t judge Mel,” she says, referring to a neighborhood kid who was born a hermaphrodite. “I don’t like it when we have to help her find cigarettes, though.”
Are you involved in any kind volunteering? How many hours per year? What type of volunteering do you enjoy? DO you think that you contribute towards the society when you volunteer? What benefits do you see in terms of your own development when you volunteer?
She is not involved in any volunteer work; “My mom doesn’t have a driver’s license and can’t take me anywhere, and Gary [her boyfriend] never wants to.”
All in all, this child is certainly faced with a number of challenges, even at her young age. The parents take a very hands-off approach, to be sure. And there is a great deal of reason for concern. The child is post-pubescent, and has been for some time, yet has not mentally matured to a level where she can actually handle that. She also hangs out mainly with older children, who could be a bad influence. She has been caught both smoking and drinking. She is also under the watch of child protective services since the incident with her father. She is at least getting counselling for that, and a social worker visits the house frequently. Still, there is cause for concern. For this reason, the mother and boyfriend have both given up drinking recently (with the father’s impending release from prison imminent). Regardless, there will be major issues to work through, and this child should remain closely monitored for a very long time to come.
