I am Asian-American. The moment I set my foot last week on Tuesday, Feb. 16, 10:30 AM, into Starbucks at Maple Tree Place, VT ("Maple Tree Place") I was simply conspicuous. The place was awash with white, old, faces, all enjoying a rare moment of peaceful calm which seemed (I so noticed as I came closer to Starbucks before I got in) to dawn upon all in late morning hours when working people are in office or busy rushing by, sparsely. I was youngest of all as well. The combination of blackness and youngness made me a perfect contrast to an old, white morning.
The place was just as a Starbucks can be. The place (in fact a parking lot) outside, however, appeared to me just as white (or so I recalled after I later stepped further into whiteness). Turning around for a moment, I saw white (very white) clouds up in a bright blue sky. Then, looking on steadily ahead as I stepped in few more steps, I was met by a fixed glance I could not escape. (The place and, indeed, everything for eternal moments, was lost and did not seem to be in sight. I got back to specifics of settings when I was absorbed into another deep look by another onlooker.)
He was stodgy with huge moustache and belly and, so I almost heard him from distance, breathing so loudly. That aside, his look was so focused I believed I was mesmerized. There were conversations, laughs and sounds of spoons banging plates and almost sips of coffee drinks, I could hear once I was outside. Once in, dead silence fell all over. I became an object everyone just wanted to explore. The initial stodginess I noticed early on was now lost into swirling examinations (of me) and I was no longer able to distinguish faces (or to look where) as everyone was just looking on – or so I could feel.
Later, I recall, I remembered going, hypnotized into one remotest corner, a dark one, oddly enough, in a bright, early morning all around inside but in my corner. The latte I believe I sipped was as still as one could imagine and, oddly enough, overly white, contrary to lattes I am used to in different states. VT was just white ("Census Finds Least Diverse Part of Nation").
If anything, being not only a minority but a conspicuous, Asian-American soul among a white ocean, I have come to recognize cultural differences can be switched on and off according to one's own context. More specifically, as an Asian-American among peers, one would even refer to blackness as an issue at stake. Everyone is just same. By being in an ethnically and, for that matter, culturally different context, one's differences are highlighted in a very unique way. That is, as one comes in contact with a different ethnic / cultural group as I did, one's own perception to her differences is brought to fore. Notwithstanding a consistently negative perception of differences (as painful and isolating), I believe being a minority is also a good opportunity one can learn from. By being exposed to one's own vulnerabilities – and, for that matter, strengths – in an alienating context, one comes to appreciate in more depth her identity and, more significantly, her resilience to adaptation and change. Indeed, Asian-Americans have shown exceptional resilience over U.S. history in face of equally exceptional challenges by a sweeping, white culture. Then again, by resilience is not meant to emphasize only negative aspects of ethnic / racial relations between Asians and whites but, more significantly, a positive capacity for adaption and change, if and when necessary, in response to alienating experiences similar to mine.
The ethnic / cultural context I was in was, moreover, particularly enlightening. If anything, detached from a comfort zone I used to live in, I came to better appreciate how "singling out" someone for her difference can be a very common experience and, indeed, in very common places one is used to frequent but, given differences in ethnic / cultural makeup, a place ceases to be common and is redefined into a strange, if not alienating, one.
That I was identifiable is not only something obvious but, significantly, felt. This identification has been possible not only by my color but also by "uneasy" postures and chosen seating area. By opting for self isolation, I became an object of contemplation, or so I perceived. As noted, each and every single gesture and body movement was interpreted differently. Further, I sipped my latte in a completely different way compared to what I used to. Specifically, I drank my latte in very little sips as I raised my face to watch how people around watched. Thus, my very way of sipping was, if anything, enlarged and highlighted as something worthy of observation in a different ethnic / cultural background.
In an ocean of whiteness, I did not feel I had a differential power. Conversely, I just felt powerless, consumed and, not least, vulnerable. Being Asian-American, alone – and female – I was extremely insecure as I kept watching my guards. I presume if I were a male I could have run into trouble. Indeed, being a female was both empowering and demeaning in a strange way. By being a female, I was protected against a possible, direct, physical contact should I have been male. I was, put differently, spared physical humiliation. (I am not sure if I were in a different, white setting how surrounding responses could have been.) Then again, being a female was demeaning in a mixed company of senior whites. That is, as I crumpled up in my little, dark corner, I could see white women giving me – a young, black woman – disparaging looks. That feeling I experienced was nothing short of demeaning. The very fact I was a woman was not, accordingly, empowering but demeaning as I was protected against possible, physical contact from men but was open to all sorts of disparaging looks (and possibly remarks, I could almost recall) from older, white women.
Inter-ethnic relations is an integral area to current context. By exploring ethnic / cultural relations between different groups, one is apt to better recognize commonalities and differences by situational analysis. Specifically, by analyzing situational content (i.e. body language, gestures, kinesics, proxemics and chronemics) between persons / groups of different ethnic / cultural background, a fuller understanding develops of nuances and intricacies of cross-ethnic / cultural relations. In current case, I responded in different ways to an easy situation as a minority of Asian heritage. For example, in cornering myself in a little, dark place and sipping my latte uneasily, I showed physical (physiological, in particular) signs of inner conflicts. Moreover, by opting not to speak at all in an ethnic / cultural context largely divorced from my own, I subscribe one long, black heritage of resilience in face of disempowerment. That is, by being mute, I adopt a mind frame of a "subdued" minority against a suppressive "master". Of course, superiority- subordination relationship per se has long gone. However, residual conflicts of suppression – and, for that matter, resistance – remains as Asian Americans and whites continue to interact, regularly or not.
Projecting current situation into a work context, one drives a number of valuable insights. First, in a professional context involving an ethnic / cultural conflict, open or not, one needs to refer to workplace policies, if any, first of all before moving on to use her own judgment. This adherence to set policies and regulations should buffer against possible (unfavorable) developments. Second, in weighing an employment option at all, one has better explore diversity and inclusion polices, if any, adopted by a given company. This should ensure one better protect her labor rights, particularly in cases involving conflict. Third, by having a mentor (as I sure did not in current case) at workplace, one has more insights of workplace politics should a conflict arises or relations sour between co-workers of different ethnic / cultural background. Fourth, by promoting mutual understanding (by setting up cross-cultural orientation programs, creating workgroups of different backgrounds and, not least, developing active communication channels not only for reporting problems but also for enhancing inter-ethnic understanding) at workplace, conflicts – and, for that matter, differences – are apt to decline.
Works Cited
"Census Finds Least Diverse Part of Nation." ABC News. ABC News Internet Ventures, n.d. Web. 22 February 2016.
Harrell, Jules P., Sadiki Hall, and James Taliaferro. "Physiological Responses to Racism and Discrimination: An Assessment of the Evidence." American Journal of Public Health 93.2 (2003): 243–248. US National Library of Medicine. Web. 22 February 2016.
"Maple Tree Place." Starbucks. Starbucks Corporation, n.d. Web. 22 February 2016.
