I was brought to life twenty one years ago and have been raised and nurtured by my loving parents. Throughout my life I’ve undergone many experiences which have taught me peculiar ways of resolving conflicts. In my childhood period, I was a spunky playful kid who was determined in whatever he committed himself into. As a result of my playful character, I had a lot of friends in the neighborhood. Many of these were my peers who loved to play with me or some of whom we went to school together. Besides participating in a lot of childhood games I was also very active in my school work. I ensured that I earned good grades when it came to the class tests and this surprised most of my play colleagues. I also took religion seriously in my childhood days and this made it certain that I scored good grades in religion. Up to this day I have always held religion seriously.
During my teenage years when I was on my upper grade, I joined the Army. My stay in the army lasted for a period of one year where I gained a lot of life experiences. In my engagement with the army I developed an evil filled life as a result of behaviors that I contracted from my colleagues. This was not without conflicts; I had disagreements with some of my fellow officers and other people in the society. An incidence that I shall forever remember sadly is the deaths of my beloved grandmother and Dad. I had a very strong relationship with my Dad and his loss meant a lot to me. During that time I remembered how I could visit my grandmother at her house and she could cook for me very delicious meals. I also had a good understanding with my grandmother.
These two incidences led to my decision of quitting the army. I felt that the army had brought me a life that I was not destined to live. I opened a new chapter of my life which was now a total positive life. I view this as a point where I achieved a resolution based on my previous immoral life. After leaving the army I took up nonviolence as a lifestyle. I had been quite violent in the army but I dropped this violence and took up a peaceful life where I lived peacefully with the people around. I uphold the fact that violence can only be justified in very rare circumstances such as self defense. However, violence should be coupled with great care not to harm your opponent. Ever since then I always prefer arbitration in the event of a conflict resolution rather than direct violent actions. Caring is one psychological perspective that plays a vital role in managing and resolving conflicts.
If I care for someone that means I can understand such a person very well. Hence it becomes easy to resolve conflicts if you develop the element of care. Care suppresses some emotional factors that can hinder the process of conflict resolution. It is true that people find it easier to care for themselves rather than caring for other people. But in the context of better conflict management and resolution it is prudent for people to develop care for each other. In my earlier days before I left the army I was quite of a social egoist. In psychology, every person is believed to be socially egocentric. However, I have come to learn that social egoism is not healthy in control and resolution of conflicts in the society. In times of conflict resolution I always look forward at dropping any egoist characters that might distract the process.
People should control their egoism especially when dealing with conflict issues. I also believe it is important to inspire personal confidence, hope and joy in what you talk to people especially in resolving a conflict. In my period at the army and also in my childhood period, I had never imagined of uttering words that would convey hope and joy to others. However, I have learnt that speaking truthful words to people and also enhancing self confidence is one way of resolving conflicts among people. This must also be followed with joy and hope which is portrayed to those in conflict. When I was an officer in the army I had a lot of anger if faced by any conflict or just a minor quarrel. Conversely, I have realized that in order to effectively resolve conflicts I need to manage anger and stress. This can be achieved by maintaining calmness when handling conflict issues.
This also gives you the ability to read and interpret accurately the communication with your opponent. This ensures that people achieve a common language and hence can be able to come up with quantitative solutions in resolving the prevailing conflict. This further result to common courtesy amongst people in conflict; this is significant in resolving any disagreements between them. Personally I have different emotions that may affect the decisions that I make and more so decisions pertaining conflict resolution. I have learnt to maintain emotional intimacy whereby I get to know my emotions better. This is accomplished by developing a sought of mutual relationship with these emotions.
Having this ensures that I can effectively control my emotions and behaviors. Consequently, this creates room for a more personalized communication without frightening or threatening people you might be in conflict with. This new life opened a door of tolerance and also granted me peace that I had not experienced for so long. In my adult age I continue to earn very high grades in my college education. My conflict resolution skills have also ensured that I have good friends and a loving family. We all live happily and in togetherness. My life is now filled with a lot of creativity and now I am into music whereby I’ve learnt to use the guitar.
References
Bonhoeffer, D. (1997). Letters & papers from prison (new greatly enlarged edition). New York, NY: Touchstone.
Dana, D. (2001). Conflict Resolution. New York, NY: McGraw‐Hill.
Littlejohn, S. W., & Domenici, K. (2007). Communication, conflict, and the management of difference. Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.
