Marriage entails coming together of two people of the opposite sex .In most cases if the couples differs due to either economic , social or any other, reason, divorce occurs. In this case, divorce is defined as legal process of ending a marriage, with the full consent of the two parties involved. Divorce affects both the couples and their children. Debatably, Divorces are viewed differently by men and women (Clarke-Stewart and Cornelia, 35). Men look at it as a way to their freedom so that the can go back into the free, searching, and dating world. On the other hand, women view divorces as a home breaker, whichever way it happens and for whatever reasons it happens. In the society, women, have always been seen as the 'heart' of the family. Divorce is caused by a number of factors including marrying for wrong reasons, infidelity, and the effect of broken families. The effects of divorce include suffering among children, school dropout among children, adoption, and loss of property.
There are several reasons that could cause divorce. To begin with, it is argued that that there is a correlation between the unsuccessful marriages and increasing divorce rate; hence the recent increase in divorce cases. Undeniably, many young people who have been getting married in the 21st century come from broken marriages (Clarke-Stewart and Cornelia, 43). This has made them to take the issue of marriage easily, and they do not value marriage any more. Growing up in divorced family, increases the challenge for successful marriages in the future of children. This is true especially when the woman is from a divorced family; this is because her destroyed trust affects her responsibility as facilitator of relations. In addition, these adult children from divorced families are too sensitive to misfortunes and risks. Therefore, in case of a simple disagreement, early reaction is to go for divorce so that they are not affected as their parents (Everett, 156).
Secondly, divorce is caused by the fact people get married for wrong reasons. They may be changing because of the fact that in the modern day, some people get married for the wrong reasons. Women marry men they do not love because of their wealth and men marry beautiful women because of their beauty and body shapes. As a result, such marriagesdo not have love, which is one of the factors that bind together families and marriages. In addition, in modern families, men have been marrying women because of their extreme beauty, whereas women have been getting married to rich men (Everett, 144-146). It is important to note that marriage should happen when two people are in love. People getting married for wrong reasons, tend to eventually divorce, because they do not love each other.
Another commonly known cause of divorce is infidelity. In the past, polygamy was allowed hence, cases of infidelity were allowed among men. Up to date, the societies have never allowed women to have more than one husband. However in this generation both men and women tend to be unfaithful to their husbands and wives. This has been among the leading cause of divorce in the society (Clarke-Stewart and Cornelia, 77).
Divorce has both positive and negative impacts on the affected parties. The affected parties are usually the man, woman and children if any. Whenever a family or a marriage would break, all the blame is put on women, hence they work hard to keep their marriages from breaking. Nevertheless, children from these broken families are also affected parties, where they suffer both emotionally and psychologically as they are unable to comprehend for example, the reasons behind the divorce, at their age (Chikoto, 50). The parent left will most probably be either angry or broken and as such will be in no mental position to give an objective and clear explanation to the children. As result deterioration in effective and supportive parenting, families are faced by economic hurdles such as reduction of upkeep funds. Another emerging issue would be callous and inconsistent discipline and emotional distress.
Children from divorced families become aggressive as they try to vent their frustrations on others, and also perform poorly in school, due to lack of concentration or a loss of interest in schoolwork. They spend most of their time thinking about the situation at home and may become stressed if they have no one to talk to or to listen to them. Custody in most cases goes to the mother, so the children lack a father figure in their lives. They miss out on the paternal love that every child needs, for proper development. If the non-custodial spouse is the main breadwinner, then the family’s standard of living may deteriorate because the custodial spouse has to play the role of both parents. Children may be forced to transfer to cheaper schools which may lead to lower quality of education and poor class performance (Clarke-Stewart and Cornelia, 95).
However, in some cases, divorce may have a positive impact on children. For example, if the marriage was highly abusive, children may learn to have better control of their emotions and will less likely be affected psychologically by stressful situations in future. Although many young adults from divorced families fear that their own marriages will also fail, they are more likely to be very careful in their choice of a spouse, thus decreasing their chance of ending up as divorcees. For children whose custodial parent remarries after the divorce or after the death of one of their parents, they may face many problems in the new family. They have to adjust to the presence of a step mother or step father, whom they may not like. The relationship between the children and step-parent is likely to be strained because the children feel that the step parent has replaced their biological parent (Clarke-Stewart and Cornelia, 123). The step parent may also have problems dealing with the children of their new spouse as they avoid disciplining them or give light disciplining for fear that the children may hate them. On the part of the children, they may feel that the step-parent is disciplining them because he/she does not care about them as they are not his/her biological children. In the case where both spouses have children from previous marriages, the children may not get along because each is attached to their respective parent, and feel that the new family is intruding and is the cause of their broken family (Everett, 215).
There are a myriad of other problems that come with blended families. One of them is moving to a new house or school. This may affect the children’s performance in school. Also due to issues of custody, when moving from one parent’s house to another, there may be problems such as forgetting favourite clothes or toys in the other house (Chikoto, 100). The children will also miss the absent parent and feel that the step parent has replaced the absent parent. They may also feel angry and unhappy and have no one to talk to about it. This may even cause them to fall into depression. In the new house, children have to adjust to new rules, values and lifestyles due to the presence of new people in the house (Everett, 231). The children may not be very receptive to this change as they miss their old family routines and traditions that they grew up knowing. The step parent may impose new rules which they may not like and this makes them feel more distant from the new parent.
In conclusion it is clear that divorce is one of the increasing cases in the society today. It is caused by many reasons, such as, infidelity. Divorce has both positive and negative effects of which the negative effects are more than the positive effects.
Works cited
Clarke-Stewart, Alison, and Cornelia Brentano. Divorce: Causes and Consequences. New Haven, Conn: Yale University Press, 2008. Print.
Chikoto, Shamiso. Effects of Divorce/separation on Self Concept of Children. S.l.: Lap Lambert Academic Publ, 2012. Print.
Everett, Craig A. The Economics of Divorce: The Effects on Parents and Children. New York: Haworth Press, 2004. Print.
