In the present day, people of various age groups carry varying views on marriage, relationships, dating and partnership. There are many factors which influence their decisions and ideas and generally there is a similarity amongst the thought process of similar age groups and different generations. In various cultures, there are different sociocultural attitudes and expectations about dating and marriage (Adams, 2010). A major difference is visible between the Eastern and Western societies and their ideas and practices on the subjects of marriage and dating. Every society carries its own norms and between those societies, individuals of different backgrounds, races, and ages carry their opinions on the matter. The most obvious governing factor is age, gender, and cultural background.
I conducted an interview with two individuals, one male, 23 years of age and single. He is a junior in UW, currently in a gap year and exploring opportunities in his own business. The second interviewee was a female, 43 years of age and married, a teacher by occupation. I asked the male, my first interviewee, about his opinion on getting married. He replied with ‘never’ and added if it was going to happen, it would be around the age of 40. Upon being inquired about his answer, he replied that people eventually get bored and tired of one another in a marriage, and they break off and leave each other at the end. Hence, it is a pointless relationship. As far as keeping a partner was concerned, he said he could keep one, sexually, but he would not consider marrying them. Then I asked him what kind of woman would he like get married to, and he replied that she ought to be a fair looking woman, not too gorgeous and she should be competent in household work. Her additional attributes could be to know how to play an instrument or sing well and most importantly, she must have a good personality. I enquired about the kind of
personality and he replied by saying she must not be arrogant like the current girl his parents want him to get married to, rather she must be kind hearted and rational. He also added that our current youth is quite different from its parents because our parents are traditional, at times, very traditional, and they do have stable and long lasting relationships as compared to the unstable ones this generation has.
My second interviewee was a married woman in her 40s. She told me she got married at the age of 22. In the previous decades, it was quite common for a woman to get married when she was in her 20s, while the age of 25 seemed like a late deadline for marriage. I asked her why getting married early was customary in that particular age frame, and she said this was because f the financial issues harbored in a family. Having multiple siblings burdened the parents, therefore getting married made the children independent, and it helped with raising the younger siblings and supporting them for college. I implied this might be the reason people of that cohort seemed to share better bonding with one another. She replied that it was harsh as well, because it was not easy to raise 7 children while belonging to a working class and survival was quite difficult. I asked her for her opinion on the perfect gentleman to get married to, and she replied the man needed, to be honest, smart and hardworking. Moreover, the families on both ends must not be too varied in their social status and financial status. Even if the financial status matched one another, it was better if the families had similar backgrounds and the match between the two would be considered a perfect one.
Regarding the two interviews, it is clear that one comes from a person of the current generation while one is from a previous generation. The current generation is mainly influenced by the media and the news they hear about famous personalities not being able to stay in marriages out of various reasons such as fame, careers or fidelity issues (Adams, 2010). Therefore, they are scared of getting attached and married to another person because it is a threat to their freedom. The main precursor of human development is a human freedom which matters a lot to people as it determines their hold on life (Adams, 2010). However, when the media shows how love is supposed to be rather than what love really is like in real life, it distorts the concept of love. Romantic movies, for example, a display that love is supposed to be amazing, passionate and couples remain in love and feel giddy about it all the time (Jake & Kircher, 2011). On the other hand, marriage is a great responsibility, where people have families and duties to perform for their families. Trivial matters are highly important ones, and it is crucial to pay attention to one’s partner. Moreover, sexuality has a much-distorted view, especially in American culture. There are pornographic sites, chat rooms and dating culture is actually making young adults take sex as an experience that is just an erotic encounter with a person and nothing more (Jake & Kircher, 2011). Hence, getting married to one person for fulfilling sexual needs seems pointless to them. In Eastern cultures, monogamy is promoted whereas promiscuous relationships are disregarded. It is a part of many customs and cultures to get their children married young, mostly in the form of arranged marriages. Dating is disliked or unapproved of in some cultures, whereas in other cultures, it is promoted so that young people can get to know their partner before marrying them (Jake & Kircher, 2011).
Divorces and trends in divorcing are also influenced by media. Previously, people did not consider divorce as the only solution to problems in a marriage, especially in staunch Christian families. Today however the media portrays divorce as a refuge from an ‘oppressive’ relationship that stifles one’s freedom (Jake & Kircher, 2011). When relationships are built only on sexual desire and not on the actual basis of marriage, then dating and marriage are bound to end for a couple, and they find it very difficult to adjust in a monogamous relationship.
REFERENCES
Adams, Elisabeth. (2010, October 20). Cross culture marriage. Retrieved August 17, 2016, from
http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2010/cross-culture-marriage
Jake, & Kircher, M. (2011, April 12). Does media distort love? Retrieved August 17, 2016, from
Relationships, http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/25275-distorting-love
