Interpersonal Communication: self-reflection.
I consider myself to be a highly proficient communicator because I find it easy to talk to people; I don’t struggle to talk to strangers and I’m generally well-liked by my peers. I take this to mean that it’s because I can clearly communicate my ideas and opinions without being confrontational and misconstrued. I feel that this is an important life skill because it is so easy to irritate people by accident and it makes life infinitely easier if you can endear people to you. I am not a naturally confident person but I find I can confidently express myself through nonverbal gestures, assertive language, eye contact and a range of other interpersonal communication skills. My communication skills have been built through my personal and professional relationships: working, studying, and socialising – all of which have helped to build my confidence and understanding of communication. I have one or two areas of weakness such as my ability to strike up a new conversation and my ability to touch other people which I think indicates my lack of confidence sometimes but I don’t find it to be a hindrance. In short, I feel that my communication skills are strong and that, for the most part, I find it easy to talk to people.
A large part of my approach to communication is the use of humour. I find that I can diffuse a lot of situations and handle myself in almost any problem with the use of humour. I find that it helps to get people on your side when aggression would alienate them. Something which is important to differentiate between is assertiveness and aggression and it’s something which a lot of people find difficult to do. I attempt to be assertive rather than aggressive at all times. I am not a naturally aggressive person and so I don’t find it too difficult to curtail that, but I do find it hard to be assertive too. I generally avoid confrontation and so I struggle to assert myself without upsetting people. That said, when it’s not my situation to handle, I am an excellent diffuser due to my use of humour. I find that it means people are more likely to see the funny side of things.
A communication skill which I need to use a lot in my day to day life is inclusivity of people. I enjoy encouraging quieter members of a group to become involved in a discussion because it enables them to have a foothold to express themselves, rather than having to get up the courage to say something off their own back. I know because I often struggle to have the confidence to speak up, myself. Part of this is having strong listening skills. I try hard to be a strong listener and find that I need to employ this particular skill a lot in everyday life because it’s as important to listen as it is to speak. Listening is a skill which helps to make people feel valued in the conversation and communication is not just about who shouts the loudest – I recognise this and will know when it’s my place to speak and when it’s my place to talk. I find that this also helps to develop friendships too. Professional relationships often become friendships if you can employ the right communication skills, and I find that I do. That basis of communication helps future discussions to become easier and easier too because, if someone likes you, they’re more likely to put up with your quirks and communicative weaknesses – especially if you’re having a bad day. I don’t have any problems making friends in any context or environment which tells me two things:
- I can communicate effectively and personably with people.
- People like me and are willing to continue communicating with me.
I wouldn’t describe myself as being a particularly tactile person, however. I actually
find it difficult to be affectionate towards people because of a lack of self-esteem: I generally don’t believe anyone wants me to touch them. I worry that this makes me less likeable to people but I do become more tactile, the more comfortable I am with a person. I don’t have any problem with being touched and I find that the more people hug me or touch my arm, for instance, the more likely I am to reciprocate. It’s much like my inability to initiate a conversation sometimes; I don’t think people want me to, so I don’t. It’s a strange juxtaposition to my otherwise confident approach to life, but it does have quite an impact on my ability to forge relationships. Depending on the context, I do better than others such as at work, but in my personal life, I find it extremely difficult to do.
I do have excellent empathy skills though because I have certain issues of my own which cause me to view the world slightly differently. With that in mind, I try to empathise with people who have problems or who exhibit strong enthusiasm for various things. Empathy helps to build up a relationship built on trust and caring, which people value. It enhances communication because I feel as though people are comfortable discussing their problems and life events with me as they know that I will endeavour to empathise and explore the conversation with them. I care and I find that it makes me an excellent communicator, along with my ability to listen well and my desire to be a good friend to people.
This project has been invaluable as it has demonstrated to me the communication skills which enable me to be a good friend, a trusted co-worker and a likeable person. It has also highlighted to me which skills I could improve upon to become a better, stronger communicator. In short, my areas of weakness are my confidence to physically interact with people and also to initiate conversations. Throughout the course of my discussion here, it has become obvious to me that, for the most part, I am liked by my peers because of my otherwise excellent communication skills and that this suggests that I should have more confidence in myself because of this. A lot of my friends will hug me to say goodbye or hello and I should begin to feel more confident about initiating that sort of contact. Equally, my sense of humour and other skills allow me to be an excellent conversationalist whom people like talking to and so my ability to initiate a conversation should be boosted by this too. In short, my communication strengths lie in my listening and empathy skill which makes me likeable to my peers and enables me to be an effective communicator.
