Since the beginning of time, men and women have fallen in love with each other, made sacrifices, waged war for love, and died for love. People from different cultures have different ways of expressing and experiencing love. Also, men and women have different ways of experiencing love.
Is there a Western tradition of thinking about romantic love? What are its characteristics? Is it specific to the West? Do you agree with it?
People from different parts of the world think about love differently. People from the West think about romantic love as a matter from the heart. An individual can choose the person that they want to marry. This way of thinking is not specific to the West: people in other cultures think this way too particularly the younger generation (Chernoff, 2013, p. 2). However, parents in Africa and other cultures prefer to choose the marriage partner for their children. Parents choose marriage partners for their children because of financial and social reasons. In his book, Chernoff (2013, p.2) talks about the fate of a girl whose marriage partner has been chosen for her and she has to live with him as a second wife. She is made to do all the chores and will only get relief when her husband marries another wife.
On the contrary, people from the west can choose their marriage partner and can get married whenever they want. For instance, the gentleman in the film Casablanca asked the lady for her hand in marriage but she refused (Lacson, 2011, 0:53). She could have accepted the proposal if she wanted to get married. However, it was her choice: she did not make her choice based on pressure from other people.
Is sexuality gendered? Do women experience love and sex differently from men?
Women experience love and sex differently from men. It is in the nature of men to work hard to impress their loved ones. For instance, Tristan sought to kill the ferocious beast to get Iseut’s hand in marriage (Beider & Gallagher, 2013, p. 16). In addition, men pursue the object of their love and will go to great lengths to get a chance to profess their love. For instance, Tristan killed the beast using his sword. He risked his life fighting with a fire-breathing creature to prove that he was worthy to marry Iseut. On the other hand, women show their love by making sacrifices for their loved one. For example, Brangien took Iseut’s place on King Mark’s bed to save Iseut from death and humiliation. She also did this to protect Iseut’s secret because she did not want Iseut’s betrayal to be discovered (p. 19). In addition, women show their love by caring for their loved one. For instance, Iseul took care of Tristan’s wounds inflicted by the monster (p.18). Similarly, in the film Casablanca, the lady showed her love to the gentleman by telling him that his life was in danger and that he should leave Paris. This showed that she cared about the well-being of her loved one (Lacson, 2011, 0:23).
Conclusion
Examples from the texts and film show that people from the west have a different way of thinking about love than people from other cultures. Other cultures are slowly adapting to the West’s perception of love. Women and men have different ways of experiencing love and expressing it. I agree with the West’s perception of love: it should be the choice of a person, nobody should be forced to marry against his or her will.
References
Bédier, J., & Gallagher, E. J. (2013). The Romance of Tristan and Iseut. Indianapolis, US: Hackett Publishing.
Chernoff, J. M. (2003). Hustling is not stealing: Stories of an African bar girl. Chicago, US University of Chicago Press.
Lacson J.M. (2011, Sep 20). Casablanca (Best Scene-part 1). [Video file].Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esb_R8IPZ8k
