Meg and Kyle case
Meg and Kyle are experiencing problems with their marriage which could have deleterious effects on the mental, physical, and family health. For the case of Meg and Kyle, problems arise from their diverse backgrounds and their means of communicate. Sources of conflicts between couples range from verbal and physical abuse to individual abuse that harms character and behavior. Alleged inequaliity in a couple's division of labor is associated with marital conflict and the likelihood of the husband to withdraw to seclusion in response to conflict. Conflict over power is also strongly related to marital dissatisfaction.
Some of the matters responsible for the conflict between Meg and Kyle include Poor Communication skills. One has an egotistic character whereas the spouse is so extremely self-involved and ego-centric that he or she doesn’t seem to be compassionate of the needs or desires of others. For example, Kyle concentrates too much on her daughter, Andrea while one of the spouses feels he/she is getting less attention from the other. Other problems include the lack of contribution of one partner on the role of domestic duties as Kyle complains of Meg’s laziness and where one puts all his/her efforts on work that he/she forgets their roles on family obligations and solving of issues, for example, Meg works for about 60 hours a week hence he has little time for his family.
Dynamics existent in the marriage conflict include; common approaches to establishment of marriages and other fruitful relationships that emphasize on the exclusivty of the adaptive processes such as teaching couples a set of skills for determining problems and dealing with dissatisfactions when they arise.
The avoidance means of conflict indicates minimal concern for ones self and a low concern for others, and minimal communication about the conflict taking place. This method of conflict resolution does not solve conflicts. The accommodating conflict management style indicates little concern for an individual and a high concern for the other, in that someone complies with or obliges another without providing personal input. The compromising style shows a moderate concern for self and others indicating that there is little investment in the conflict and the relationship.
An accommodation strategy entails the use of a strategy that provides the opposing side of what one wants. This scenario is mostly provided where one of the parties intends to maintain the peace as the issue at hand is considered as solvable. In this case household chores can be evenly spread out and the allocation of time for family issues can be sought to reduce the conflict.
The aggressive manner of deciding conflicts is not usually preferred as one side losses out on the argument and this may lead to the internalization of negative attitudes towards the other party. In such a scenario the aggressive manner is not preferred as it will lead to more antagonism between the parties.
A compromising strategy will involve one of the parties surrendering one of the elements of their demands. Toning down of ones requirements is a prerequisite for such a situation. This will lead to a common and acceptable solution that is agreeable to all parties. In the case scenario provided Kyle should dedicate more of his time to Meg while Meg should be more active to reduce laziness.
The collaborating style involves a high degree of concern for oneself and others, usually shown in investment in the conflict conditions and the relationship. This the best conflict resolution method where couples agree and collaborate on the issue. The competing or aggressive style point to a high concern for self and a moderate anxiety for others. During periods of conflict, we strive for success in the encounter, possibly at the expense or “loss” of the other person. Kyle in this context tries to compete with his husband Meg, and this makes the conflict to continue.
The following steps are sufficient for collaboration of conflict issues between couples;
One should accept and affirm that a conflict can either have a positive or negative response while clarifying opportunities for conflict growth. Putting ones self in other peoples shoes to try to experience what they are passing through and realization of the difference between understanding people's behavior. One has to shift focus from his/her powers to defend one's position while focusing on sharing of responsibilities. One also has to focus his efforts beyond settlement and be dedicated in resolving all the conflict issues at hand. Being honest with yourself while acting with integrity is an important way to collaborate in an issue. Finally, one should look for simpler collaborative ways to increase cooperation creating interests for a good relationship.
