Internet
The essay that I am revising is Essay#2 (The Shallows Essay) which entailed choosing an issue raised by Nicholas Carr in The Shallows and developing an argumentative essay around. I choose to revise this essay simply because I got a low grade D and believe that I deserve a better grade. I tend to believe that I am better off than a D grade and that if I can take care of the simple mistakes I did in my first essay and take into account the issues pointed out by my professor, I could easily score a much higher grade. I am going to highlight the various revisions that I have incorporated in the essay which would aid in the improvement of my grade.
The first revision I made to my previous essay was the thesis. Since this is an argumentative essay paper, I noticed that my previous thesis was not strong enough to show the side of argument I was for. Since I was arguing for the positive impacts of the internet to friendships, the thesis needed to be precise and articulate. My professor also pointed out that my previous essay lacked a strong thesis statement that showed which side of the argument I supported. Consequently, I took steps to ensure that I came up with a thesis statement that would show the direction I was taking throughout the paper. My introduction started by briefly explaining how the issue of the internet and the friendships is a contentious issue. I briefly discussed both sides of the divide. Since I was arguing that the internet had a positive impact on friendships, I developed the following thesis statement “Although the use of the internet has some negative impacts to friendships, its continued use has done more good than harm to friendships and human interactions.” This thesis statement showed that I acknowledged that the internet had negative impacts on friendships but showed that I was going to prove throughout the essay that the internet had a positive impact on friendships. This thesis statement showed which direction of the argument I was going to take.
Secondly, I incorporated examples throughout the essay to prove further the points I was putting across. From my previous essay, I noticed that my points were rather flat with lack of examples to prove them. My previous assignment lacked even a single example to clearly show how friendships had been improved with the internet. With that in mind, I ensured that I used examples to illustrate the points I highlighted. For instance, to illustrate how the internet has enabled people join community which they could not have done without the internet; I used the example of a disabled man who could now make new friends online. This example illustrated that the internet had enabled the disabled person make new friends irrespective of his disability that limited his physical interaction and socialization. The examples I used placed an emphasis on the points and arguments I was making.
Lastly, I took note of the grammatical and punctuation mistakes that were prominent in the first essay. The previous essay was filled with careless grammatical and punctuation mistakes which affected the clarity and quality of the essay. A simple punctuation mistake such as the lack of a comma made the essay turn out low quality. I realized that I hurriedly turned in the essay without proofreading it to identify these mistakes. In this essay, I ensured that I proofread it thoroughly to iron out issues related to grammar, spellings and punctuation. Proofreading this essay ensured that the essay had coherence and clarity.
Revising this essay has given me valuable lessons that I vow to utilize them in my future argumentative essays. First, I have learnt that a strong clear thesis is crucial to any argumentative essay paper. This is simply because it gives shows which side of the argument the essay would be taking. Secondly, the incorporation of examples in the essay can be used to prove the points. Finally, the most valuable lesson is to proofread my work after completion to avoid instances of grammatical and punctuation mistakes. Taking these lessons into account, I vow never to score such a low grade again.
The Internet has had a Positive Impact on Friendships
It is no doubt that the internet has changed our lives enormously. From the way we interact with one another, the way we communicate to the way we carry our businesses; the internet has played an important role. The internet has now become an integral part of our lives given that it impacts how we work, how we communicate, how we make or maintain friendships and generally how we live (Artwood & Conchenta, 2). The internet has played a key role in connecting the world. In fact, the world has never been more interconnected. Today, one does not need to leave his or her geographical location so as to pass information to another location; he or she only needs an access to the internet which would facilitate the whole process. Friendship is one aspect of sociology that has greatly been affected and impacted by the growing internet technologies. The growing use of the internet has seen more and more people making friends with people not only limited to their own countries. Social media, in particular, has greatly facilitated the process of making new friends and maintain friendships (Chambers, 1). Social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn among many other have greatly facilitated the processes of human connection and human interaction. People can now make friends with people from the remotest areas of the world while long lost friends can connect through the internet technologies. The use of the internet has been a contentious issue especially with regards to making new friends and maintaining the existing relationships. Whereas some argue it is a wonderful tool for maintaining and making new friends others argue that the internet removes the face-to-face contact that is vital for human relationships. Despite the various benefits the internet has brought to friendships, the internet has also had a negative impact on friendships. Currently, there are many cases of internet addiction which has led to isolation, moral decadence due to illicit friendships and many other dangers due to the growing use of the internet. Although the use of the internet has some negative impacts to friendships, its continued use has done more good than harm to friendships and human interactions.
One of the greatest impacts of the internet has been on communication. The internet and internet technologies have greatly enhanced the way people communicate among each other (Turkle, 4). Previously, communication was mainly done through the use of letters and telephones which had their own fair amount of challenges. The connections to the internet have now penetrated even to the furthest places on earth. The invention of the mobile phones with access to the internet and the smart phones have seen that event the remotest areas have access to the internet. Amongst friends, communication is the main important aspect as it may lead to a healthy and long lasting relationship or may lead to an end of the relationship. Studies have found out that the more times friends communicate with each other or stay in close contact with one another, the more chances that their friendship would be maintained or last. A communication breakdown amongst friends is one of the primary causes of an end to friendships and strained relationships. The internet has made it possible for friends to communicate among themselves despite the distances among them (Caincross, 5). Today, people no longer require homes, offices, restaurants or any other social places to stay in contact with one another; they can comfortably do it at the comfort of where they are at that given moment. Social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter have enabled friends to stay in contact with each other even though they might be miles apart (Caincross, 6). Certain social sites such as Skype have also enabled friends to carry out video calls. Video calls have ensured that friends can have real time communication among each other while observing what they might be doing at that time. Given the effective communication provided by the internet, people are able to maintain their relationships in an economical way.
Communication via email and social media is just as good as face-to-face communication. The fact that the response from the other party can be instant and real time means that communication via the internet is just as effective as physical communication. Many people have benefited from these online interactions either in work or the social context. Di Gennero & Gutton (pg. 4) found out that more connections are being made via social networking sites (SNS) than any other traditional forms of communication. The fact that the use of social media is on the rise means that people are more bound to make more connections than ever before. This is in sharp contrast with the physical connection that is limited in terms of time and geographical locations. Previously, friendship was limited to neighbors, schoolmates, co-workers and the people that we are close to, but with the internet, there are no limits to where our boundaries of friendships can reach. People from different countries can bond and connect via internet technologies, and share information and experiences. They could turn out to be best of friends without meeting physically. Through the internet, people have been able to add more friends to their circles as compared to the previous times when the internet was lacking. This is a positive impact to friendship given that people are able to socialize more and learn about new cultures and ideas.
The internet has also allowed people to join a community. A person using social media or any other internet technologies creates social contacts with people from all over the world, which could not be done easily without the internet (Turkle, 8). Such online communities help the people who are not able to go out and socialize with new friends, such as the disabled. A disabled person, for instance, has the perfect opportunity to meet with new friends and bond over a number of topics regardless of their physical location. The internet has not only enabled the disabled to make new friends but also the people with social insecurities or low self esteem. There are those people who are insecure about a number of issues such as their appearance, weight or any other aspect of their lives. These aspects are usually subjects of ridicule from their peers and close friends. With the internet and social media, these individuals do not necessarily have to be seen by the people they are chatting with on the other side. There is always something that makes the communication between these individuals easier than what could be achieved in real life. It is also possible to make friends with the people having the same insecurities or problems as you do, which is hard to achieve in real life. Through the internet, a person’s appearance or physical attributes may not matter much simply because he or she can pretend to be what they are not. It is also possible to change personal details such as age and gender to talk about things that you do not normally do. The online community provides a security that physical friendships do not offer and can be used to foster and make strong connections all over the world (Turkle, 10).
Through online interactions, people are able to share information and ideas on various aspects of life which may be vital in the making of new friends and maintaining of friendships (Cummings, Butler & Kraut, 7). Due to the easy access of and spread of information, people in the online community share information of topics such as networking, dating and marriage, psychological problems in society and even the most controversial topics such as homosexuality. A person can easily obtain information on certain issues in society from other people who have had hand-on experiences or have had people in their lives who have gone through those issues. This information would provide solutions to some of the problems such as stigmatization of the homosexuals. Online friends have a vast amount of knowledge on various issues and can play an important part in devising or proposing solutions to these issues. For instance, a person may be going through a hard time in his or her dating life, and the online community may provide solutions on how to ensure that the relationship strives. The lack of understanding and empathizing with people is cited as one of the reasons for strained friendships. The lack of understanding is usually brought about by a lack of information on certain issues that an individual may be going through in his or her life. The online friends provide vital information that can be used by individuals to understand their friends and the issues that they might be facing. As a result, friendships are built and maintained using information obtained from the internet.
On the flip side, the internet has negatively effected and impacted friendships. There is always the threat of social isolation due to the problem of internet addiction (Zheng et al. 12). People, especially on the social media, spend huge amounts of their time chatting and messaging with their internet friends. This addiction had led to people substituting their physical relationships with the electronic relationships. The lack of physical relationships and physical social interactions brings a sense of social isolation that may lead to the feelings of loneliness or sometimes stress (Carr, 14). The internet is also a cause of relationships breakdowns given that people are more likely to confront each other via the internet than physically. It has been found out that people are often uncomfortable with face to face confrontations and hence resort to the internet. Also the spread of negative information and ideas can be used to break down information. The internet is not only a source of good information and ideas but also negative information. The putting to use negative information can cause misunderstanding amongst friends which can ultimately lead to an end of the relationship.
All in all, the internet is a perfect tool for making new friends and maintaining the existing relationships. There can be no denying that the internet is changing the way we live and socialize. Through communication and the spread of information and ideas, the internet is an integral part of our lives. With the strides taken in internet technologies and the wide use of the internet, it is necessary for appropriate measures to be taken to ensure that only the best is obtained from the internet. Measures such as government regulation of hate messages in the internet and social media can go a long way in ensuring that friendships are maintained.
Works Cited
Atwood, Joan D, and Conchetta Gallo. The Effects of the Internet on Social Relationships: Therapeutic Considerations. Bloomington, IN: Iuniverse Inc, 2011. Print.
Cairncross. The Death of Distance 2.0: How the Communications Revolution will Change Our Lives. London: Texere Publishing, 2001. Internet Resource.
Chambers, Deborah. Social Media and Personal Relationships: Online Intimacies and Networked Friendship. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan, 2013. Internet resource.
Cummings J., Butler B., and Kraut R. The Quality of Online Social Relationships. Communications of the ACM 4(7): 103-108. New York: ACM Press, 2002. Print.
Carr, Nicholas G. The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains. New York: W.W. Norton, 2010. Print.
Di Gennaro C and Dutton WH. Reconfiguring friendships: social relationships and the internet. Information, Communication & Society10, 2007. (5): 591-618
Turkle, Sherry. Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other. New York: Basic Books, 2010. Print.
Zheng, Robert, Jason J. Burrow-Sanchez, and Clifford J. Drew. Adolescent Online Social Communication and Behavior: Relationship Formation on the Internet. Hershey, PA: Information Science Reference, 2010. Print.
