It is commonly said that the seed of the society is the family, which is the smallest block in any society. However, it is also well known that the family sprouts from a relationship between two people, who become intimate and eventually start a family. There are other relationships that do not reach this fruition stage. Nevertheless, it is evident that for a relationship to go to any level there has to be a proper definition and a progression roadmap, as indicated in the essay below.
Outline
Introduction – this section deals with the description and definition of a romantic relationship as it stands. This forms the basis of the later discussion.
Initiation – this part is dedicated to analyzing the dynamics associated with the initiation of a romantic relationship. It looks at the roles played by both parties in relationship.
Growth and Development – this section of the essay is dedicated to analyzing how a relationship grows. It looks at the four main challenges in a relationship namely defining the relationship, dealing with sexuality, public relationships and the nature of bonding to initiate.
Nurturing the relationship – this section looks at the modalities of ensuring that the relationship holds till maturity. There are tactics to be employed at this stage, which include openness, task sharing, assurances, positivity, and social networks.
Conclusion – this is the last section which summarizes the ideas stated above.
Introduction
Man is said to be a social creature, implying that he likes being in association with others of his kind. However, it so happens that the need for this company changes with time as an individual grows and develops. First of all, an individual is concerned about the self, then the family and once puberty hits in, there is the development of a liking for people of the other gender. In other words, there is the instinctive development of the need for a romantic relationship. This calls for a defined manner in which an individual gets into relationships. Romantic relationships can, therefore, be said to be the intimate relationships which exist between two people.
Initiation
Clark et al (1999) has it that romantic relationships, whether heterosexual or homosexual, usually begin with the sense of attraction between two people. In a heterosexual relationship, the initiation happens in a different manner in which there are ways of communicating for every party. For instance, the man is usually direct and active at the formative stage, and is also committed to ensuring that the relationship reaches the intimacy level. On the other hand, the woman assumes a passive role, often trying to slow down the pace at which the man wants to take issues. More often than not, the women tend to use passive means of communication such as body language. This is the kind of dynamics explained by the Buss and Schmitt’s sexual strategies theory as well as the interpersonal intimacy model as proposed by Reis and Shaver (Clark et al, 2009).
Growth and Development
Just as with any other form of relationship, there is the growth stage for a romantic relationship. This is characterized by both the positive and negative aspects. As a matter of fact, there must be challenges that the people in a relationship must encounter. As such, they must have ways to ensure that the relationship is not ended pre-maturely.
One of the main things to look at is the challenges that face a growing relationship. O’Meara (1989) has it that there are four major challenges that face a growing relationship. One of them is the determination of the nature of the emotional bond experienced in the relationship. At times it can be hard for the partners to determine whether the other party is fully committed or there is holding back. As such, there is a sense of uncertainty. This can happen, for instance, in a case where the lady is too discrete. The man might not be sure as to what feelings the woman actually has towards him. Another challenge involves the issue of sexuality. This can be an issue where there are societal or cultural stereotypes concerning the individual’s sexuality.
O’Meara (1989) also observes that the biggest challenge, by far, is determining the issue of relationship in the context of gender inequality. Most of the societies around the world are masculine. The women, on the other hand, have their empowerment movements which are aimed at drumming equality into the society. This is a challenge for people in relationships, as they have to define where each belongs in the relationship and how they are supposed to behave towards each other. The last challenge of romantic relationships is the challenge of public relationship, where the partners, faced with the above named challenges, might not just be ready to make their relationship public. The timing as to when the relationship should be put to the open can be quite elusive.
Nurturing the Relationship
All is not lost for people in relationships though. They can always find means to make the relationship grow and maintain it as well. However, this needs a committed mind that is ready to face all the challenges that might come along and still hold on to the relationship. Stafford and Canary (1991) suggest five pillars that can be used to make a relationship stand. These are as explained. One of them is positivity. It implies that the partners must have faith in each other and in their relationship. Only then can they be ready to stand with each other even in the hardest of times, since they already understand that the relationship works out for their own good. However, the positivity often wears down. It is at this point that the partners need the second pillar, which is assurance. Constant assurances hold the relationship together since the partners feel confident in each other. Coupled with assurance is the issue of openness. Not only in a romantic relationship but in every kind of relationship, openness and honesty go a long way in creating an understanding between the partners. In romantic relationships, it is commonly said that there are no secrets. The partners should simply to share their ideas, joys, feelings, fear, life experiences and whatever they might have with their partners. It is well known that there are responsibilities that have to be played in a romantic relationship. There is nothing that binds the partners together than participating in the activities together. This is why the issue of task-sharing is very vital in such kind of a relationship. Lastly, there is the cornerstone of social; networks. Relationships are social institutions. As such, the partners should have enough social skills that make them fun to be with for their partners. This can only be gained through participation in social forums, which is a stronghold for a romantic relationship (Stafford and Canary, 1991).
Conclusion
This essay is dedicated to defining a romantic relationship and giving a roadmap as to how one can be initiated, nurtured and maintained to maturity. Though there are many challenges that face romantic relationships, it has come out strongly that commitment by the two partners to making it work is the main pillar. Coupled with these, the essay has looked at the various challenges as well as benefits that can be derived from such a relationship. All that can be said is that romantic relationships are cultivated, as stated by Knee (1998). If the partners have the dream of having a lasting relationship, then they must have long-term dating objectives. They should also be equipped with the relationship coping strategies which come in handy during the hard times. Most of all, each party in a romantic relationship should be ready to take responsibility as called upon, as this is the only way through which a relationship can be nurtured to total maturity. Romantic relationships are not for the faint hearted, as it is commonly said, true love is hard to find, but harder to keep.
References
Clark, C.L. et al. (1999). “Strategic Behaviors in Romantic Relationship Initiation.” Personal and Social Psychology Bulletin, Vol. 25(6), pp. 709-722.
Knee, C.R. (1998). “Implicit Theories of Relationships: Assessment and Prediction of Romantic Relationships Initiation, Coping and Longevity.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 74(2), pp. 360-370.
O’Meara, J.D. (1989). “Cross-Sex Friendship: Four Basic Challenges of Ignored Relationship.” Sex Roles, Vol. 21(7/8), pp. 525-543.
Stafford, L. & Canary, D.J. (1991). “Maintenance Strategies and Romantic Relationship Type, Gender and Relational Characteristics.” Journal of Social and Social Relationships, Vol. 8(2), pp. 217-142.
