New experiences in life such as death usually cause a considerable amount of anguish especially in cases where the deceased person was a close friend or a relative. Johns’ reflection provides an insight regarding how people and institutions tasked with looking after the elderly people behave. In particular, the reflection provides a general concern regarding the quality of medical care that the elderly residents get in the residential and nursing homes.The treatment of Johns’ mother at the nursing home shows that the quality of care is not the same as that which elders get in their own homes. Nursing care is the responsibility of the general practitioners in the nursing homes and such care seem to have fallen out of the expected standards (College of Registered Nurses of Nova Scotia, 2002). However, Johns’ reflection brings to the fore various aspects that are capable of triggering the death of patients.
The fact that Johnsfinds a handful of nurses in the nursing home when he goes to look for a nurse to take care of his ailing mother is evidence that there is lack of enough nurses in nursing homes. The shortage leaves the available nurses with a seemingly substantial task of caring for the increased number of elderly people being admitted in the homes. This aspect is brought to the fore by the statement to the effect that “logic says someone has to be last, yet when that someone is dying I question this logic”. This statement shows that nurses are very preoccupied that they do not have time to offer special treatment to any of the patients irrespective of the special needs of a patient (Johns, 2009).
What stands out from the explanation of the events preceding the death of Kay is negligence.Neglect in the context of nursing involves behavior that clients, nurses, or other people perceive to be a breach of a nurse’sprofessional duty to care.The nurses tending to Kay can be considered as having neglected their duty to care. This is precisely because they failed to meet Kay’s needs until Johns intervened. The negligence of the nurses is apparentwhenJohns remembers that a few days ago his mother was able to drink and her sister had been assured that her mother would be seen every 30 minutes to be offered a drink. Despite the assurances, the Hi-cal drinks that were littered besides the locker had their seals intact days later. This is evident that the elderly ailing mother had not been fed and she could no longer drink.
Although Johns was aware that his mother was dying, he is clearly bitter about the way she was treated by the nurses during her last days. His depiction of how the nurses neglected his mother presents an emotional response to his loss (Calhoun, 2001). He had certain expectations about the way nurses are supposed to carry out their responsibilities. It is important to note that the nursing profession, just like any other major profession, carries with it certain standards and expectations by which nurses are expected to abide by to guarantee a quality practice.It is only through adherence to the nursing standards and expectations that nursing institutions gain the trust of patients. Some of the most common nursing standards include accountability, competence, knowledge, and practical use of that knowledge.
The performance of nurses at the nursing home also brings into focus the qualification of nurses.On the outside,the nursing homes are inviting but the internal operations are unpleasant and the necessary facilities are unkempt. This scenario shows that the intention of the nursing homes is no longer to care for the elders but rather to accelerate the deaths of the patients. Consequently, the poor treatment accorded to the author’s mother suggests that the elderly homes have become more profit-based and lack the necessary skills to care for the elderly.
People behave differently when faced with the death of a loved one. Usually, the initial reaction is shocking then disbelief even in cases where death was expected. This is because person is unable to feel entirely ready for a death. In cases of sudden death,people may feel completely vulnerably.It is important to note that it is impossible to discuss a number of issues that are exclusive to particular deaths such as those related to murder, accidents, and miscarriage. In the instances such as where a person dies after a plane crash there is no body to be recovered,relatives and friends are usually left with lingering optimism and a possibility that there has been a misunderstanding. Accident related deaths deprive loved ones a chance to prepare for the death. As such relatives are unable to gradually deal with, understand, or adjust to the possibility of death or say goodbye in a satisfying manner.
Consequently, there are those who consider death as a transformation period. Such people allow the transformation to take place in their lives by shedding their bloodletting go of those things that ‘no longer exist’ in their lives. This approach is usually based on the understanding that there are things that are bound to happen in life notwithstanding our feelings(Emmons, 2005). By preparing for death and accepting such occurrences, one is able to overcome personal fears.
Dealing directly with death by talking about it enables people to welcome change without difficulties. Talking about death boosts the physical courage and state of mind that is replete with fearlessness. It is through facing death and the unfortunate realities of life that a person is capable of rising beyond every fear and to undertake the awaiting tasks.
People are able to appreciate their lives more by reflecting on the death of others.This shows that once people familiarize themselves with their mortal limits,following the death of a friend or relative, they mourned being grateful for the life of the deceased while also being grateful for the fact that they are still alive and well(Araceli, 2011). Consideration of the specific and vivid manner of anotherperson’sdeath triggers a focus on personal mortality.As such, it is one of the fundamental reasons why grateful people come to be grateful.
For young mourners who have lost a friend as in the instant case, parents and closely related adults should help them overcome their grief. Usually, it is difficult to know exactly what to do or say to a grieving child. Some people fail to comfort a grieving person because they are afraid of saying something wrong. Others feel that there is nothing they can do to improve the situation. Death of a close friend causes tough experiences to children and they feel frightened that the feeling may never go away. As such, parents must assist their children to understand what death is all about (Calhoun, 2001). A child’s understanding of death is simplistic and often causes misunderstandings. Parents can eliminate a child’s misconceptions about death by encouraging them to talk about it. When children talk about death with their parents they are able to express their feelings freely. Consequently, responding to the questions that children ask regarding death helps them to understand their humanness and to overcome the sad feeling.
People who are bereaved should consider sharing their experiences and thoughts with others who have had similar experiences. The bereaved should further seek help from professionals when faced with sudden physical and emotional reactions.This is based on the fact that sudden emotional changes are triggered by sudden loss. An affected person may seek help from health professionals, family, and friends. This helps a person to regain composure and deal with any guilty feelings. Health professionals may educate the affected persons about the basis of death. It is also important for people accept the reality even if it may not be pleasant and be actively involved in subsequent events and rituals.
References
Araceli, F., Watkins, P., Webber, A., Froh, J. (2011).Death and gratitude: Death reflection
enhances gratitude. The Journal of Positive Psychology6(2), 154–162.
Calhoun, L.G., &Tedeschi, R.G. (2001). Posttraumatic growth: The positive lessons of loss. In
R.A. Neimeyer (Ed.), Meaning construction and the experience of loss (pp. 157–172). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
for Nurse-Client Relationships. Registered Nurses’ Association of Nova Scotia. Retrieved from http://www.crnns.ca/documents/professionalboundaries.pdf
Emmons, R.A., &Kneezel, T.T. (2005). Giving thanks: Spiritual and religious correlates of
gratitude. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 24, 140-148.
Johns, C. (2009). Reflection on My Mother Dying: A Story of Caring Shame. Journal of Holistic
Nursing27 (2). American Holistic Nursing Association,136-140.
