The social problem of divorce is directly connected to another very sensitive issue: parents’ rights to custody. However, there are always gray areas concerning this matter and fathers’ rights are sometimes looked at as «minor» ones, comparing to mothers’ rights. It is not a fair position and it is not legal either. Most of all it does not serve the children’s best interests, which is the upmost concern all responsible citizens should have. Children need both parents to grow mentally and physically healthy, either their parents live together or apart.
Couples, who have been married, have very clear legal rights concerning the responsibilities for supervising the child’s upbringing, most of them determined by the Family Court System. These rights are usually shared by both parents. This is called «jointed legal custody». So, fathers are not alone in their fight for a precious and undeniable right: the right to protect, love and care for their children. The right to exercise their unique and irreplaceable role as fathers. If fathers acknowledge their legal rights, they will be able to act and prevent later problems.
Fathers’ roles include rights and duties and when doubts and threats stand amidst divorcing couples, attorneys can be a practical, but useful means to assure legal rights for fathers. If a written agreement is signed between both parents concerning matters such as: division of expenses, where the children will live permanently, a plan of visiting times and similar situations, a lot of unnecessary problems and inconveniences can be avoided. Wise couples know what is the best for their children and are able to put their children’s happiness above their own, but when troubled emotions, unsolved conflicts, pain and rage dictate behaviors, then there must be an exempt third party to help set things right.
However, besides all legal facts that can be alleged, there is a very straightforward reason that should make us reflect: why should fathers lose contact with their children when there is a divorce? Why can’t fathers be the best ones to take care of the children? Is father’s love less important, less present, and less necessary than mothers’? The answer is very simple: there are no logical reasons, other than social habits and historical reasons to ascribe fathers a secondary role. A loving father can be more present than a busy mother. Modern fathers are usually able to perform all the tasks and go through all the burdens that raising a child demands. Fathers are patient, play better and can be emotionally more steady and reliable than mothers when there is a crisis and, most of the times, a divorce causes this crisis.
All in all, fathers are essential parts in children’s lives. They are no less and no more than mothers, and although mothers can provide most of the children’s needs in infancy, there are things only fathers can do. Fathers have above all, the right to be fathers, the founders of their families, as well as the guardians and companions of their offsprings. As Sigmund Freud once stated «I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection». So, maybe we should all think about it too before we are irrationally partial and award fathers an unfair, illegal secondary role.
References
- About.com. Divorce Support – can My Wife take the children If She Leaves? – by Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceadvicepolls/f/father_custody.htm
- The Board Of wisdom – The Best Fathers Day Quotes http://boardofwisdom.com/togo/?viewid=1005&listname=fathers%20day
