Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a universal problem affecting thousands of people, often quietly and covertly. Both sexes can be influenced by it, but in the majority of cases women become victims. Although some people think that it has some social, economic, religious or cultural context, it is not always this way. Victims of domestic violence generally have little self-esteem and are bound in relation to the attacks, either due to material or emotional dependence, which sometimes affects their children. Thus, it is highly important not to close our eyes to this problem; we should help victims break the silence and save them from all the kinds of violence, whether it is physical, emotional or verbal.
Physical violence can be defined as the use of force aimed at hurting someone, leaving evident marks. Its common types are punches and slaps, beatings and burns that are made with various objects or hot liquids. When a child becomes a victim, the acts of omission committed by parents or guardians are also considered as a kind of physical violence. Alcohol abuse is a strong aggravation of physical domestic violence. Pathological Drunkenness is a state, in which a person who drinks becomes extremely aggressive, sometimes not remembering in detail what he/she has made in the course of these bouts of rage. In this case, there are certain practical difficulties of curbing violence, usually caused by different factors. For instance, if aggressors are husbands, their wives can state that when they don’t drink, they are perfectly well-behaved society members. Sometimes it is caused by the fact that husbands are mainstays in families, which is why their arrest can lead to major financial and other difficulties for all the relatives.
While acknowledging the practical difficulties of some difficult situations, victims of physical violence can also have some share of blame, especially if the event is constantly repeated. For the first time, for example, a woman can be unaware of her husband’s tendency to get aggressive under certain circumstances. For the second time she decided it was a good idea to give her partner a chance to correct his fault, but when it happens for the next time, it becomes inexcusable. Often it happens because a victim feels violated and betrayed, as after the offending act the attacker promises that he will never act the same. Still, in the majority of situations, he does it again, and can even accompany the attacks by threats. Whether we like it or not, the abuser is always aware of his committing a crime, an action condemned by society. Thus, it is understandable why he often threatens his victim, forcing her to silence. Threats like "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!" or "If you do anything against me, you know what will happen to you!” are very common during the beatings. In many situations women are afraid of facing the society with their problem, as the stigma of a divorcee is always bitter. In this case they usually lose some friends, and can even be rejected from some job positions, as often they require married status.
Emotional aggression can sometimes be even more harmful than physical, as it is characterized by rejection, depreciation, discrimination, humiliation, disrespect and exaggerated punishments. It doesn’t leave any visible body marks, but turns into emotionally indelible scars for life. Emotional violence is usually aimed at making someone feel inferior, dependent, or guilty. The most virulent attitude toward this goal is when the perpetrator does everything correctly, perfectly, not for the purpose of teaching, but so as to show the victim’s extent of incompetence. The aggressor is extremely pleased when the other person feels inferior, incompetent and declined. It is usually the type of aggression disguised by parents to their children. The threats of physical aggression (or death), as well as crises break utensils, furniture and personal documents are also considered as types of emotional violence, when there is no direct physical aggression.
Verbal violence usually occurs concomitantly with psychological. Some verbal abusers turn their artillery against their family members, including times when they are in the presence of other people who are not relatives. Due to the lower physical strength and expectations of society in relation to male violence, women tend to specialize in verbal abuse, but, in fact, such violence is not the monopoly of females. Verbal violence can even exist in the absence of actual words, and when people remain silent. The verbal abuser, seeing that a comment or argument is expected for the moment, can choose to be silent. In such cases this silence can hurt more than some abusive words, as the aggressor shows that he has something to say and chooses to keep it to him-/herself. The abuser can look sick, but not complaining, shown to be thwarted, but still not utter a word. In this case one of the characteristic features is the fact that victims of such abuse are often forced to think that they carry even more guilt, than they it is actually true. Another type of verbal violence deals with moral offenses. For example, accusations that a partner is having a love affair, or sometimes just saying bad things about appearance fall under this category.
The vast topic that domestic violence represents affects not only the victim, but also the people around them, especially their children. As we know, kids learn practically everything from adults. The first teachers are parents and the first things to learn usually come from them. Among such first lessons there is a way of perceiving life and reacting to life in the society, applying notions of law and learning how to respect others. Self-esteem, ways of resolving conflicts and frustrations, setting goals, tolerating losses and practically all the ways of behavior in front of different life situations are developed and shaped in the early age. That’s why there is a great chance that abused children, and those who just observe it can become aggressive in adulthood.
Specific evidence of wrong character development can be observed even at an early age. Some of these characteristics can be manifested by difficulty to eat, sleep, and concentrate. These children may begin to show overly introspective, shy, low self-esteem and relationship difficulties with others. Often they are aggressive, rebellious or, conversely, too passive. Children who witness or are forced to be a part of domestic violence-related problems usually have problems in school and it is extremely difficult for them to find social groups where they feel comfortable. At the same time, they often refuse to talk about these issues with family members and teachers.
As I was working on my paper, I talked to several people who gave me different points of view considering this topic. Some of them told me things like: “The woman did something, otherwise he couldn’t hit her,” or “Many women live in a state of mental and physical terror, but they must stay for the good of children”. I felt that these statements were shallow and even stupid, but at the same time due to their presence it is so difficult to eliminate the problem from our society. In my opinion, it is necessary to change the attitude to the issue. First of all, people should understand that nothing justifies violence; no one has the right to hurt others under any circumstances. As for the children, the divorce of parents cannot cause so much suffering to the child as the abuse he/she sees directed at her mother. We have to talk, it is essential to denounce when we see any kind of violence. When doing this, we can reduce the important and topical social problem and make our world a better place to live without violence.
Conclusion #1 (echoing the introduction): After considering different types of domestic violence, it is easy to see how important it is to address the issue in the most serious manner. Now it is evident that both sexes can equally serve as offenders and offended parties, and that the context is not so important. What is essential indeed is to eliminate this problem by uniting our efforts and doing the best we can to change our society.
Conclusion #2 (challenging the reader): After considering different types of domestic violence, it is easy to see how important it is to address the issue in the most serious manner. It is necessary to understand that every single one of us can make the difference, so it is highly important to accept the challenge and act. I am ready to do it for the sake of future generations and my own security, and what about you?
Conclusion #3 (looking to the future): After considering different types of domestic violence, it is easy to see how important it is to address the issue in the most serious manner. It is necessary to understand how much our future depends on the actions we take today to change the situation. If we understand that our kids’ safety is also influenced in this way, I think that there is just no other variant, than to do everything possible to stop domestic violence.
Conclusion #4 (posing questions): After considering different types of domestic violence, it is easy to see how important it is to address the issue in the most serious manner. So, are you ready to change life for better and make our world a better place to live? Or are we going to look at everything from our corner, hoping that this issue will never affect us? I think that everyone should do their best to save ourselves and future generations from numerous problems caused by this terrible reality.
