Men’s violence in an intimate relationship from a feminist perspective
Domestic violence and violence in an intimate relationship is an age-long phenomenon. This paper argues that men’s violence in an intimate relation from a feminist perspective mainly because of social norms of male superiority and feminine learned weakness as well as alcohol abuse in most homes. According to feminist views, men will inflict violence when women show weakness and are unwilling to report their case to the law or seek help from getting abused in an intimate relationship. Men have been indulged in domestic violence making their wives subjects of abuse and out of shame or humiliation, women are reluctant to report the abuse (Statistics, 2016). However, it is true that a large number of women are subject to violence in an intimate relationship every day of their lives. Half a million women in Australia reported domestic violence in the form of physical or sexual abuse and sexual assault within a year (NSW department of justice, 2016). In the United States, every 9 seconds a woman is beaten up or abused by her husband or partner in the home (Statistics, 2016). About 1 in 3 women have been a victim of domestic abuse in an intimate relation to their partner in their lives. Getting raped in an intimate relationship is also a common phenomenon because almost 46.7% of women in the States have been raped and assaulted by someone they are in a relationship with. 33.3% of the women in Australia have faced physical abuse before the age of 15 (NSW department of justice, 2016). Moreover out of the 64.4% of the women that have been physically and sexually abused in their life by men, about 81.1% never reported the abuse to the police (NSW department of justice, 2016). Even if the number of women experiencing violence in an intimate relationship decreased between the ages of 18 and 34, the number of women reporting physical abuse after the age of 45 has increased just the same (NSW department of justice, 2016). The feminist viewpoint holds that men believe they can exercise violence on men because they have the capacity to do so. Male strength cannot compete with a woman’s, and this is the reason men find it easier to exercise that strength on their wives or partners in a home.
The feminist theory or perspective explains this from the standpoint of male and female gender roles that have been existent in society for a very long time. The general idea of power that lies with a man and the frailty and lack of power in a woman becomes the basis of the confidence that a man gains before he wants to strike or abuse the woman he is intimate with (Dobash and Dobash, 2004). Domestic violence is perpetuated with the help of societal messages and ideologies that are passed through the generations, convincing men that they are superior to women, they hold the authority and power and a woman cannot speak above him even if they are equal in the relationship, and they are both earning for their home. Even for many intimate relationships, gender roles have been predetermined by society and men and women need to follow them irrespective of what the outcome (Dobash and Dobash, 2004). Women are considered the compromising, submissive and impartial partners in the relationship, so much so that for the sake of the unity of their family, they will be willing to forego their husband’s disloyalty only so they can save their family from breaking up. On the other side, if a man finds out his wife is disloyal to him or has been disloyal to him, he will instantly pounce on her and slap her or yell at her and divorce her that very minute (DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS, 2016).
The proponents of the feminist theory also hold that it is true that women can be violent and abusive with men, however, the extent to which men can get hurt might be far less than that for women (Amnesty, 2004). Yet another problem with the society is that usually if a woman is beating a man, be it her husband or partner; it is taken in a humorous manner and people laugh at the matter, even laughing at the man for getting beaten up by a woman. This is commonly shown in television and movies where the audience laughs at a scene where an angry wife is beating up her husband at home with a rolling pin or another such item. However for men to beat women in an intimate relationship is the cause of many societal ills and misconceptions. Young boys watch and learn and begin to believe that they are supposed to treat women as commodities, and they can do so because it has been a norm in the society for them. This intimate partner violence ranges from behavior or harm caused to one’s partner in the form of physical, sexual and psychological abuse to another person in the relationship. Physical aggression consists of hitting, slapping, kicking or beating the partner (Amnesty, 2004). Psychological abuse consists of verbal abuse, foul language, and swearing, yelling and humiliating one’s partner (Amnesty, 2004). It can also be in the form of forced sexual intercourse or in-control behavior such as forcing the partner to leave their family and friends and end all connections with them. They might also resort to stalking them, keeping an eye on their movements and restricting their access to other people (Amnesty, 2004).
There are certain reasons as to why women are not encouraged to report their abuse and why males think it is their right to abuse the woman they are in a relationship with. It is a societal conception that women are assigned the basic roles of housekeeping, and they are supposed to do their job because that is the basic duty of a woman in a household (World Health Organization, no date).
Moreover, in some households, it is considered appropriate that women are beaten, or they are chastised by their husbands if they are not doing their job right and need to be put in their place. Also, there is a huge tendency to blame the victim of the abuse in the intimate relation, in this case, the woman and this blaming makes it all right for the man to beat her or abuse her because she probably deserved it (World Health Organization, no date). Males will try to exercise their will upon their female counterparts such as warning or threatening them at first, and if they refuse to comply, then they will move on to physical abuse which can be of all degrees (R. Loseke and Kurz, 2004)
Another reason why males abuse in an intimate relation is alcoholism. There have been strong links found between alcoholism and intimate partner violence in various countries. While men who get drunk lose control over their emotions and conscience, it is difficult to control them and make them realize the anger they are exercising might be excess for the moment (R. Loseke and Kurz, 2004). Therefore, if a woman abused a man she is intimate with while she is drunk, there would be questions raised against her upon her character. However, if a man is doing the same thing, then he needs to be pacified, and his anger and abuse can be excusable on the basis of his intoxication (R. Loseke and Kurz, 2004).
Furthermore, according to the feminist perspective, women will abuse a man in an intimate relationship mostly for self-defense and if they feel they are unsafe in the same place as the person they are with. On the other hand, men will use violence to express their anger, frustration and at times, to establish their supremacy and the upper hand in the relationship. Men would rarely use it for self-defense rather it is a sign of their masculinity and physical power. It is more of a man’s stance to punish or coerce the woman into submission or to punish her for unlikely behavior. Therefore, violence in many cases in an intimate relationship where a couple is married many years with children will be justified on the basis of anger, masculinity, ego and how of power whereas women will be given the self-defense card and their offense might even be taken non-seriously.
In conclusion, men’s violence in intimate relationships from a feminist perspective shows that this is a gendered phenomenon where the males in the society consider it fine to beat up or physically abuse their partner because it is the wife’s job to be submissive and bear with the husband. On the other hand, women would resort to violence only on the basis of self-defense. This shows that in an intimate relationship, men consider it normal to beat their wife, even if they are educated and literate because society has taught men to express their anger defiantly in a relationship without fearing the repercussions. A woman, on the other hand, might be very fearful of what might happen if she abuses her partner in an intimate relation.
Works Cited
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Dobash, R.P., and Dobash, E.R. (2004) ‘Women’s violence to men in intimate relationships’,
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(No Date) Available at: http://www.gov.scot/resource/doc/925/0063072.pdf (Accessed: 2 May
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Statistics (2016) Available at http://www.ncadv.org/learn/statistics (Accessed: 2 May 2016).
World Health Organization (no date) Available at:
http://www.who.int/violence_injury_prevention/violence/world_report/factsheets/ft_intimate.pdf (Accessed: 2 May 2016).
