[Enter Student Name]
[Enter University Name]
In this essay, I am going to examine how my childhood, upbringing, and origin influences how I choose to handle conflict. Further, I am going to identify and discuss specific areas of personal development and growth that I would like to develop and enhance in order to better my leadership skills in the area of conflict resolution. In doing so, I will examine best practices and specific strategies.
When I reflect on my upbringing, and how that has impacted how I choose to handle conflict, I believe that the relatively little amount of conflict that I saw growing up has absolutely impacted how I perceive conflict. When I was growing up, I rarely saw my parents disagree, fight, or even raise voices. My mom even commented once on a family vacation that my parents, even in the beginning, rarely fought with one another. Therefore, and although this seems counter-intuitive initially, I tended to address conflict head on. Growing up in a household where I did not see the negative impact of conflict, in high school I would often address situations in an aggressive manner, I would address teachers that I disagreed with aggressively, and I would have issues with anyone who disagreed with me. I would often let me temper get the best of me, would raise my voice, sometimes get incredibly angry, and, quite honestly, there were times where I would make a complete fool out of myself. Over the course of my time in high school, I began to see just how detrimental that was to not only my reputation, but also to those that I was confronting. I believe that I had witnessed more conflict growing up, I probably would have seen just how damaging inappropriate ways of handling conflict can be. Therefore, had I witnessed more conflict, I do not believe that this would have been my confrontation style throughout high school and that this particular way of handling conflict, at least for me personally, is a direct reflection of this.
I also believe that growing up to be a relatively confident and prideful individual plays into this method of handling conflict. Like many in our generation, we believe that we can do anything and be anything that we set our minds to. We are told that we are, indeed, special, and right most of the time. Therefore, when I get into a conflict, I sincerely believe that I am correct. Because of this, I am much less likely to look for a resolution to any conflict. Rather, I am going to stand my ground, stick my feet in the sand, and continue to engage in conflict because I believe that I am correct. Without this mentality, I would be much more likely to address conflict much more reasonably. I recognize that I have a long way to go, but I believe both of these examples of personal conflict resolution can go a long way in understanding how I have dealt with conflict thus far in my life.
According to the Citizens Committee for New York City, one of the best ways to handle conflict is to communicate my feelings assertively, but not aggressively (Citizens of New York, 2016). To be an effective leader, I have to be able to control my temper and emotions when either in conflict or when leading others through conflict. Therefore, one of the areas of personal development I think I can attempt to accomplish is to keep a calm voice, remain neutral, and discuss the situation at hand prior to my personal feelings about any situation.
Another area of personal development that I haven’t yet spoken about is differentiating between the person and the problem. One of the areas that I most struggled with growing up is having a disagreement with someone and then feeling negatively about them personally for a long time thereafter. According to the Citizens Committee for New York City one strategy for conflict resolution is to attack the problem, not the person (Citizens of New York, 2016). It even goes so far as to suggest that you should start every conflict off with a compliment (Citizens of New York, 2016). Personally, I very much struggle with the idea of starting every conflict off with a compliment, but if it works, it works! I believe that this is an area of personal development for me that can really enhance my leadership; understanding that I may disagree with a coworker, colleague, subordinate, or anything similar while disassociating my personal feelings about this person. You should be able to have a healthy argument with a best friend and not think negatively about that friend; this is something that I still very much struggle with.
In addition, I believe that effective communication is one the biggest areas that I can personally grow in. Effectively communicating often avoids conflict altogether – if individuals know where everyone else is coming from at the very beginning of any situation, they often avoid conflict later on. This is something I struggle with – I often believe that everyone should have the same viewpoints as me. Therefore, I often do not communicate as effectively as I should in order to ensure that conflict does not arise.
Finally, one leadership ability I would like to enhance is my ability to effectively mediate conflict. Mediating conflict is certainly a skill that is needed in any leadership role. Thus far, I have not had many opportunities to engage in leadership conflict mediation, but I believe that it is necessary and a skill that I will look to gain in the future.
In conclusion, this essay has examined my personal opinions as to why I believe I have handled conflict in the ways that I have thus far in my life. Further, it has explored ways that I can personally and professionally grow in my own conflict resolution abilities.
References
The Citizens Committee of New York City. (Feb. 12, 2016). Ten Strategies for Conflict
Resolution. Retrieved from http://www.citizensnyc.org/sites/default/files/public-
attachments/workshop/conflict_resolution.pdf
