As a result of revolutionary changes in America, divorce has become an every day’s part of life. This is from the scenes watched from programs, movies, novels, storybooks etc. It has become so common that, people view it as a cultural norm; children grow up believing in divorce. They then tend to bring the issue even when they get married such that, there is a rising trend on divorce on children brought up in divorced backgrounds (Ainsworth 331).
Traditionally, divorce was seen as a predicament that ruined the growth of children. Scholars argued that, before the age of eighteen, children were still dependent and vulnerable. The children require social and family support to focus and build on their future. This notion was, however, abandoned after influential members of the law society and child welfare professionals argued that the happiness of bringing up children was dependent on the happiness of the whole family (Yu, Lansford & Jennifer 29). They argued that if divorce is the only option for having a happy marriage, then the welfare of the children would be at stake if it does not happen (Ainsworth 331). The implication was that divorce was not harmful to children as long as it leads to happiness to the parents.
However, judging from a critical point of view, as much as the parents remain happy that they are divorced, the children are introduced to massive changes in life. These includes loss of love from both parents, lack of parental commitments, going back and forth between different households and presence of a one sided parental love. All these influence the lifestyle of the kids and the state of affairs in which they are brought up (Clarke-Stewart & Cornelia 26).
Children who grow up in stable families enjoy the benefits of emotional and social capital, and this determines the status of their future. However, if marriages become fragile, children become disoriented, less capable of being independent and can offer little or no mutual support when they grow up. A child’s life is mutually dependent and connected to parents. These parents are normally favored as companions to these children. For young children divorce shakes trust on parental dependency; it creates instability, unfamiliarity, and instability, in a child’s life.
A child’s reaction to a divorce is filled with anxiety and psychological torture. The child spends most of the times thinking about the separated parents and how he or she will grow up without the mother or father around. These impacts massively on the child’s way of life; for instance, some children adopt new forms of behavior like bed-wetting, crying most of the times, whining, and loss of pre-established skills among others. This affects children even at the level of school performances (Knox & Caroline 16). The foundation of the child’s life gets broken and building this a fresh becomes tough for these children.
It often takes at least two or years for a child to adapt to a divorce. It is even worse when these parents have to meet in family functions or other social places. In such instances, the rate to adjust to the new lifestyle is lowered. The child grows living in hopes that the parents will come back together. The case in even different in adolescents; the independent –minded adolescents tend to react aggressively and in a rebellious way. They lack commitments in everything that they do and distance themselves defiantly (Ainsworth 337). They start developing self interest attitudes whereby they do not care about the emotions they inflict on others from their behavior. Some adolescents result to drugs and crime as a consolation for the parental love loss.
Divorce is associated to economic loss in children; limited economic resources in single parenthood, lead to deprived levels of high education, wellbeing and lifestyle (Donna & Andrew 54). Many divorced families’ result of changes in residence, schools, friends and other relationships which are associated to social problems in children. The accumulation of these changes inflicts life stresses among the children. These may lead to dropping out of schools, early marriages and unwanted pregnancies. In general the extent of stressful experience that children go through during divorce impacts on the levels of difficulties that they experience (Clarke-Stewart & Cornelia 53).
The overall results of divorce on children are psychological and behavioral difficulties associated to economic challenges, stress, parental conflicts and parental adjustments. The effects are feelings of helplessness and painful memories that affect the child’s entire life. Most of these children have problems in developing relationships and having spouses. They have a pre-induced fear on marriages which make them feel uncomfortable with relationships. Most of the children end up being single for the rest of their lives or even get married when old. The probability of having marital conflicts in such children is normally higher than with those brought up in stable marriages (Knox & Caroline 24).
The more a child gets exposed to conflicts, frustration, confusion and anger, the more he or she is likely to experience in their marriages. Psychological behavioral theories argue that a child develops behavior according to the environmental surroundings. Children brought up in conflicts are more likely to be aggressive, rude and abusive. This is applied even when they get married, and that implies instability in their own marriages.
References.
Ainsworth, Alan. 75 Arguments: An Anthology. Boston: McGraw-Hill, 2008. Print.
Clarke-Stewart, Alison, and Cornelia Brentano. Divorce: Causes and Consequences. New Haven, Comm: Yale University Press, 2008.Print.
Donna, Ruane, and Andrew J. The Divorce Process and Young Children’s Well – Being: A Prospective Analysis. Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 57(3). August 1995. Print.
Knox, David, and Caroline Schacht. Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family. Belmont, Calif: Wadsworth, 2010. Print.
Yu, Tianyi, Gregory, Lansford, and Jennifer E. The Interactive Effects of Marital Conflict and Divorce on Parent – Adult Children’s Relationships. Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 72. (2), April 2010. Print
