Human beings are social animals; they need to interact with other people in order to feel whole or enhance their self-image. One aspect of socialization is the ability to recognize one’s own emotions and those of others. The capacity to correctly identify and perceive one’s own or other’s emotions, as well as act upon them in a consistent manner, is referred to as the emotional intelligence (EI) of a person (Cerniss). People with a high level of emotional intelligence display a sense of emotional maturity, and thus make them better socially since they can take emotions into account when dealing with others. This is especially helpful in situations such as in the workplace where interaction is important. One way to measure the emotional intelligence of a person is to take an EI assessment and then interpret the results (Goleman).
My Emotional Intelligence: An Analysis
In this paper, I am going to analyze the results of my own EI Assessment test, and see how I am equipped when it comes to dealing with emotional matters.
Overall EI Score. First, I am going to analyze the overall score of the test. I got an 81, which may be considered high in terms of emotional intelligence. This means that I am mature emotionally and thus capable of holding positions that require a high input of emotional work. (“Who is Emotionally Intelligent—and Does It Matter?”). Examples of these jobs are leadership positions, team players, and performers. I can say that this is true because I love working with people regularly; doing so gives me energy and motivation.
Relationship Management Score. My highest score among the four components of emotional intelligence is my relationship management, which garnered a score of 21—a high score. If a conflict arises between me and other individuals, I generally work towards a more peaceful resolution of the conflict. As much as possible, I do not like to confront people when emotions are on the line as it would generally lead to more disagreements. Instead, I approach the source of the conflict in a rational manner and try to see the issue from the other’s point of view. By focusing on the problem rather than playing the blame game, I solve conflicts successfully. Sometimes, when there are disagreements between me and the other party, I compromise with them so that we both get what we aim to achieve in the end. However, when negotiating, I try to keep my emotions under control; otherwise, they can lead to unsuccessful agreements. As much as possible, I always try to raise the spirits of the people I’m dealing with as doing so leads to people feeling good about themselves, thereby strengthening my relationships with others. In line with this, I also offer good counsel and advice to people who need it the most because making people feel better uplifts me as well. The principle of emotional contagion is applied here—if I deal with people nicely, they will be nice in return. Conversely, if people become calm because of me, I become calmer too. Lastly, I try to engage conversations with others so that we can create an emotional bonding, which in turn leads to me connecting with them emotionally.
Self-Awareness Score. I also scored high on my self-awareness, which means that I gauge upon my emotions consistently, which leads me to feeling confident about myself. For example, I can tell how someone feels just by looking at their physiological cues. A raised eyebrow means that someone is a sign that someone is amused positively or negatively, a frowning face means that someone is having a bad day, a smile on the face, but neutral eyes mean that someone is hiding emotions behind a façade of happiness, among others. By reading someone’s cues, I can then respond appropriately. I also know when I am becoming angry. This is helpful, as when I am angry my ability to think rationally is greatly diminished, and I turn defensive or offensive when that happens. Being defensive implies that I am doing things in order to protect myself, no matter how irrational they may seem or how offensive my actions can be, which is not mature on an emotional level. Knowing that I am angry in some situations leads to internal reflections. I ask myself: why am I angry? Is my anger justified? Will my anger lead to me doing something productive? By asking these questions, I become aware of the circumstances surrounding the situation, and thus I prepare myself emotionally. In addition, I know when I experience mood shifts most of the time. Since I know what I feel generally, I can then become aware of my feelings have shifted from, say, happy to sad. I also know what usually cause these emotional shifts. By knowing when my emotions have shifted, I can then change my displayed emotions such that they are in line with my felt emotions. It also implies that I have better control of my emotions since I know when I experience emotional shifts.
Social Awareness Score. My third highest component is my social awareness. My score implies that I also have a high level of social awareness, but it is lower than my relationship management and self-awareness scores. This implies that I emphatic: I can understand how others feel and then resolve it with them so that they may feel good or have someone to understand them. Most of the time, I know how my actions have an effect on the emotions of others based on their social cues. Putting myself on the other’s shoes and analyzing how my actions affect them also helps. That is why I often ask myself before doing anything questionable: “If someone were to do this action on myself, how would I feel?” Being emphatic, I can also recognize when someone is distressed, judging from their physical and emotional state. Based on this, I can then proceed to give them my counsel and sympathy, provided that they explicitly need it. I can also judge my emotions accordingly depending on how others may feel. If someone is happy, I tend to be happy as well. If someone is sad, I often share their feelings of sadness as well. If someone is angry, I say that I can understand the source of their anger. By doing this, the people I am interacting with can see me as someone who they can relate to and trust. However, I still have to work on helping others manage their emotions. For example, if someone is angry, I can help them to channel their anger more effectively, but I cannot stop them from becoming angry in the first place, nor I can tell them to process their anger in a healthier manner. I can only do so much when people are not in control of their emotions. If they have to learn how to manage their emotions in the first place, I believe that they should work on it themselves.
Self-management Score. The lowest component I scored on is in the self-management. I have scored 18, which means I displayed a normal level of emotional intelligence in this aspect. Often, I can work well under emotional pressure, seeing as I have good control over my emotions. I know very well that if I let my emotions take over the best of me when I am under pressure, then I would snap and therefore cannot get the job done. In line with this, I also know how to keep my cool when someone is angry with me. As I have mentioned earlier, I try to empathize with the other person so that I can better understand the reason behind his or her emotions. I also am true to my word—I follow up what I have said with actions as it shows that I am trustworthy and dependable. However, I have a hard time finding motivation in activities I consider to be dull. Sometimes I convince myself of the potential benefits of doing such jobs, but other times I get distracted and wish I were doing something more fun instead. Another fatal flaw of mine that contributes to the relatively low score of this aspect is that once I become angry, most of the time I have a hard time calming myself. Even though I know the source of my anger, I find it hard to convince myself not to be angry anymore when that happens.
Conclusion
Now that I have identified what my emotional intelligence is, I can now determine what kinds of jobs are suited for me and how will I fare in social situations. Furthermore, knowing the strong and weak components of my emotional intelligence allows me to learn more about myself. I am quite adept in interpersonal relationships, but I need to work on my self-management skills better, particularly my anger.
Works Cited
"Who Is Emotionally Intelligent -- And Does It Matter?" What Is Emotional Intelligence (EI)? University of New Hampshire. Web. <http://www.unh.edu/emotional_intelligence/ei What is EI/ei who is emotionally intelligent.htm>.
Cherniss, Cary. “Emotional Intelligence: What It Is and Why it Matters”. Annual Meeting of the Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology. New Orleans, LA. 15 April 2000. Lecture.
Goleman, Danny. “Emotional Intelligence”. Daniel Goleman. Web. 27 Feb 2016. <http://www.danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/>
