Behavior enables one to act in their own best interests without infringing or denying the rights, thoughts, beliefs and feelings of other people. “It is the expression of one’s thoughts, beliefs and feelings in an honest, appropriate and direct way” (Wilks, 2012, p. 138). Assertiveness enables an individual to critically stand up for themselves and act in their own best interests without undue anxiety. There are instances when you really have to act in your best interests in order to make life decisions for instance in your career, lifestyle, relationships and daily activities. The first step is setting up goals and working toward achieving them. This will keep you on track and alert.
Part A Assertive Situation: To Act In Your Best Interests
Being assertive involves a couple of initiatives like taking into consideration your own needs, desires, rights and wishes as well as those of others. Subsequently, fighting for your rights is coherent in achieving set goals and personal standards. “Therefore to act in one’s own best interests refers to the aptitude to make life decisions and take initiatives that enable one to trust their own judgment” (Saxena, 2010, p. 88). There was an incidence when my neighbor’s dog barked all night and kept you from sleep. I was very disturbed and upset and the following morning instead of talking to the neighbor about the issue, I expressed my anger by telling my friends about it. Literally, this didn’t solve the issue at all. A similar incidence occurred that night and the dog kept barking again all night and still my neighbor was not bothered. In this incidence I failed to act in my best interests accordingly, could I have addressed the issue to my neighbor, he probably could have solved the issue and stopped the dog from barking. “Everyone has a right to live in a conducive environment and so your rights should not be infringed in any way” (David, 2010, p. 162).
Two weeks ago I was playing games with my friends in a pitch at school. While playing, it came to my attention that a senior student was teasing junior students in the other pitch. I was very upset with the event as every student had the right to enjoy school facilities as other students. I then took the initiative of asking the senior student to stop teasing the junior students because he was infringing the rights of the poor students. Secondly, it was morally wrong to tease the students. In this incidence, I expressed my resentment on the situation in the right way by use of assertive behavior.
Part B Assertive Situation: To Stand Up For Yourself without Undue Anxiety
Standing up for yourself without undue anxiety includes certain behaviors that set standards in your life. For instance, setting limits on your energy and time and responding to put-downs and criticism help you express honest feelings comfortably. Standing up for your rights entails ways of expressing honest feelings without denying other people’s rights. Assertiveness is typically standing for one’s personal rights by expressing feelings, thoughts and beliefs in appropriate ways. It is also the concern of being able to express wishes and wants appropriately by taking into consideration your own rights as well as those of others. It also involves encouraging others to be honest and open about their views, feelings and wishes. “To stand up for yourself without undue anxiety involves responding to criticism like anger and also supporting or defending your own opinion rather than going with the flow” (Verderber, 2010, p. 147).
Last semester I was invited to a meeting and I felt inclined to be timid as you went into a room full of people. Everyone was looking at me and made me feel very uncomfortable. It was actually very hard for me to contain myself and feel at ease as I was very shy and nervous because I did not know any of the people in the room. Feeling nervous couldn’t change the situation so I said to myself that I was the cleverest and the most confident member of the association and so I ought not to be frightened. These psychological confirmations of my stature helped me calm down, relax and listened attentively to the speaker. In this situation, standing up for myself without undue anxiety applied accordingly as I was able to fight all odds that were present by composing yourself and remaining calm throughout the session. Consequently, had I reacted from the immediate reaction of the crowd, I could have most probably gone by others judgment on me and as a result miss the session. As a result of the happening, I could have infringed my rights.
Part C: Assertive Situation: To Exercise Personal Rights
Exercising personal rights is basically the expression of one’s opinions and response to violations of one’s rights or those of others. It relates to one's competency as a citizen, a member of an organization or as a consumer. A while ago my elder sister asked me to accompany her to the stalls to help her choose a certain outfit. I declined and said that I was not in the mood to go to the stalls because I found it frustrating to go round many stalls. In the real sense, that was not the actual reason. The real reason for declining was that I wanted to spend the afternoon with my friends. My sister later discovered and she felt very rejected and annoyed with me. In this scenario, it is clearly evident that I exercised personal rights very well by doing what was right for me. Additionally, expressing my opinion in the right way was very important in portraying my desires and interests (Hadfield, 2012, p. 49).
Part D: How My (Non-Assertive and Assertive) Behavior May Have Affected the Rights of Others
With reference to the above situations, my assertive and non-assertive behaviors were in accordance with the different scenarios. In the first incidence, my non-assertive behavior was evident when I failed to directly address the issue of the barking dog to my neighbor. In the other part, my assertive behavior of stopping the senior student from teasing the junior students was in good use because after intervening in the matter, the junior students continued playing games at peace. In the second part when I went into a room full of people, my assertive behavior was failing to go with the flow. I stood on my ground by remaining calm and in so doing; I exercised my rights but didn’t infringe those of the rest. I did what was in accordance with my best interests. Similarly in the third incidence, though I did not take my sister’s request into consideration, I did what I actually wished and therefore didn’t go with the flow. I may have hurt her by declining her request but I first had to put my interests into consideration.
What I Have Learnt From This Exercise
References
Verderber, K. S., Verderber, R. F., & Sellnow, D. D. (2010). Communicate!. Boston, MA: Wadsworth/Cengage Learning.
Wilks, T. (2012). Advocacy and social work practice. Maidenhead: Open University Press.
Saxena, S., & Awasthi, P. (2010). Leadership. New Delhi: PHI Learning.
David, D., Lynn, S. J., & Ellis, A. (2010). Rational and irrational beliefs: Research, theory, and clinical practice. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
