Essay On Comparison: Biological And Foster Father

Life is full of obstacles and choices. Some of my most difficult obstacles and choices have concerned my foster father, Steve, and my biological father, Tony. One is kind, funny, gentler, and successful. He is always striving to help others and is supportive of those around him. The other is not successful, drawn to drugs and alcohol, loud, abusive, and unsupportive. Though he attempted to help my brothers and I when we were homeless, he still somehow managed to hurt us. Because of these two men, I have seen two different sides of life, and have been fortunate enough to overcome many obstacles, and have help in making some of the more difficult choices placed in front of me. Though the two men are very different, I believe I needed them both in order to become the person I am now.
My foster father’s name is Steve. For as long as I have has the pleasure of knowing him, he has been a funny man, with an easy-going nature about him. He is relaxed and fun-loving, preferring to always talk situations out calmly, rather than resort to yelling or getting violent. In fact, he does not like violence at all, and teaches everybody in his house how to handle situations without it. Moreover, he believes education is a powerful tool that will lead everybody to success. Steve is a natural family man, as well, which translated into making him a natural foster father. I always have seen him go out of his way for those he loves and cares about which is something one does not see often, whether in foster or biological parents. He is, overall, just a wonderful person with a good heart.
Concerning his career, Steve is a businessperson, who is highly motivated. He wakes up at five am every day in order to prepare for work, eager to make a living for his family. I say he is highly motivated with full confidence because he runs his own insurance agency, and he does so by himself. While this takes a large portion of his time because, as many know, it takes a lot of time and energy to keep a business running successfully, he still finds time in his day to help foster children. Of course, this is not something Steve considers a part of his career, but it always seemed to be something that brought him an equal amount of joy.
He volunteers as a Big Brother for Casa Advocates, where he is able to mentor foster kids every day. Perhaps it is because he has so much to live for, but Steve has always found time to exercise; it is always important to him that he stay in shape. He seems very fit for a fifty-year-old man. He tries to work out or exercise in some way each day in order to keep up his strength and energy. While he engages in a variety of activities, his favorite things are walking his dogs, and training them.
Steve is so good-natured and kind, it is no surprise that our relationship is good; we get along very well. I do not have any problem telling him about myself or my personal life, so he knows a lot about me, as well as what is going on with my friends, school, or anything else at any given time. I feel so comfortable sharing things with him because he never judges me, no matter what I tell him or what is going on. He always makes me feel supported and heard. He asks questions, and sometimes he offers advices, but other times he just lets me talk or vent about frustrations I am having. It is nice to have somebody who understands support is so important when somebody is opening up to them, and Steve offers that constantly.
As for his behavior, Steve is respected and well mannered. He never swears, even when he is really angry or upset. Everybody in his family knows he would never drink too much or start doing drugs. He is a trustworthy person who everybody loves to have around, whether it is for support, or just to have fun.
For comparison, I have my biological father. His name is Tony, and he spent his entire life in foster care. Unfortunately, he spent part of his childhood being abused and it is likely because of the abuse that he now has mental issues. Sometimes it causes him to act irrationally angry and insensitive toward others. There are instances when these actions are for no reason, which can be scary and irritating. He had a deep, unshakable belief in religion and God, one that makes him enforce his beliefs on others. If people act out of accordance with his beliefs, it causes him to act out, or to lecture them. It can be dramatic, which gets exhausting. Though he has some difficulties, he is still my father, and he has always tried to provide the best he could for me. When my brothers and I were homeless, and he was unable to help, he still tried to do something for us when we were young. This shows some of his true moral character, and is something I will never forget.
In comparison to Steve, my father did not fare as well concerning an occupation. He began working as a truck driver for a short while, but eventually lost his position due to drug use. After this, he was unable to find work and found his only option was to become a panhandler. He was able to feed himself doing this, but as one can imagine, it was not lucrative, and he was not successful.
Understandably, because of our history, my biological father and I have a relationship that could best be described as unstable, or even broken. While I remember that he tried to care for my brothers and I, even when he was not able to, I also remember that he would be my brothers and I for no reason. These memories will also never leave me. I eventually confronted him about these occasions, as well as the pain he had put me through as a child and we were able to discuss it all. I was surprised to find that it improved our relationship; given our history, I did not expect him to listen to me or discuss it with me but he acknowledged my pain and respected it. He also apologized, which helped a lot.
It may have been so surprising because he is typically very outspoken. Tony has never been afraid to be physically or verbally abusive, which could become scary. It was slightly difficult to even bring up the topic of abuse A part of me thought he considered his actions to be justifiable. His behavior, as long as I can remember, has always been brash and intimidating, but maybe he is beginning to calm down as he gets older.
In sum, my foster father, Steve, and my biological father, Tony, are two completely different people. Steve is a kind and funny man who is successful at what he does. He hates violence and is always trying to help others. Tony is loud, abrasive, and often violent. He never shies away from alcohol or drugs, and was abused as a child. I wonder sometimes if Tony could have been more like Steve if he had not been abused as a child, or had not been in foster care his entire life. I am glad to know and have been raised by both of these men so that I may know the differences in each individual, and make good choices in life.