How to have a good dialogue:
Roommates Jc and David decide to put a movie on as they relax in their dorm room. The popcorn is popping in the microwave and the soda is ice cold. The room is pretty messy; the clothes are all over the floor, but who cares. The movie is starting and it brings up the subject about marijuana. They start discussing the good and bad things about marijuana.
David: Wow I think smoking marijuana is very bad for people.
Jc: Why do you think smoking marijuana is bad for people?
David: Because it’s illegal as it is a drug and can also lead to people trying other drugs (with meanness in his eyes)
Jc: So you are saying because it’s illegal it’s bad and has no benefit to people at all?
David: Yes that’s what I am saying.
Jc: Do you know that the story of medical marijuana in the United States began in 1978, when Robert Randall was arrested for using marijuana to treat his glaucoma. Randall sued the United States and won, and then the FDA provided Randall with marijuana for medicinal use. (Smiling cheek to cheek)
David: I think you know your history pretty well, but that still doesn’t mean anything.
Jc: Did you know that marijuana has never killed anyone ever.
David: That’s a lie right there. I heard on a TV show that it kills more people than alcohol.
Jc: Where did you hear this? Have you looked up any research about it?
David: No I haven’t.
Jc: Then don’t say anything, if you don’t have a back up for it. At least, I know my facts and can convince you that weed is not bad.
David: I still think weed is bad.
Jc: Dude: do you know it's been used for thousands years for medical, social, and religious reasons as well as for relaxation.
David: And where did you get that info from?
Jc: I got it off a couple of different sites. I had to write a paper on this subject last year at the college I graduated from.
David: See that right there shows you are bias to the subject.
Jc: No I’m not bias (while shoving popcorn in the mouth), I just know for a fact that it has more helpful benefits.
David: Ok. I agree to your point, since you are saying it, but don’t you think that it is still a gateway drug?
Jc: Do you even know what gateway drug means? (While getting up to get the computer)
David: What do you mean?
Jc: (while reading off the computer website) a habit-forming drug that, while not itself addictive.
David: How can you say that it isn’t when people that do harder drugs say that they started with weed?
Jc: Ok Ok, but from me smoking weed I’ve never went mid puff and stopped and said I think I’ll try meth next. That just doesn’t happen.
David: I see what you are saying, but do you think it can lead to other drugs?
Jc: In some cases weed being a gate way drug is true. But also in some cases weed isn’t a gateway drug, many believe that alcohol and cigarettes are a gate way drug.
David: But it’s also illegal.
Jc: Alcohol was also illegal at one point in time too, but people still did it anyway. There were even senators that helped get the illegal alcohol through the state.
David: So you are saying that sooner or later weed will be legal in every state.
Jc: Yes, I do.
David: I think you are wrong and that it won’t become legal in all the states..
Jc: Because people are starting to see that weed isn’t that bad and that it can help make money and also help a lot of people.
David: Ok. I don’ have much to say in this regard. I will accept your facts till I find evidence that will support my facts. Till then I will challenge you no more.
Jc: You can think I’m wrong all you want. I know my facts and I know that weed is not bad. Anyway, let us not fight anymore. We both have the right to think whatever we want. Let us enjoy the film and not argue about marajuana anymore.
David: I agree. Let us enjoy the remaining part of the film (while heading to the kitchen to get some more soda).
How to have a bad dialogue:
Roomates Jc and David decide to put a movie on as they relax in their dorm room. The popcorn is popping in the microwave and the soda is ice cold. The room is pretty messy; the clothes are all over the floor, but who cares. The movie is starting and it brings up the subject about marijuana. They start discussing the good and bad things about marijuana.
David: Wow I think smoking marijuana is very bad for people.
Jc: Why do you think smoking marijuana is bad for people?
David: Because it’s illegal as it is a drug and can also lead to people trying other drugs (with meanness in his eyes)
Jc: So you are saying because it’s illegal it’s bad and has no benefit to people at all?
David: Yes that’s what I am saying.
Jc: Do you know that the story of medical marijuana in the United States began in 1978, when Robert Randall was arrested for using marijuana to treat his glaucoma. Randall sued the United States and won, and then the FDA provided Randall with marijuana for medicinal use. (smiling cheek to cheek)
David: That still doesn’t mean anything.
Jc: Did you know that marijuana has never killed anyone ever.
David: That’s a lie right there. I heard on a TV show that it kills more people than alcohol.(his face is getting red)
Jc: You are so stupid!! (With hands flying in the air). Have you looked up any research about it?
David: No I haven’t.
Jc: Then don’t say anything, if you don’t have a back up for it. You sound really dumb right now.
David: I still think weed is bad and your facts cannot change my belief.
Jc: Dude: do you know It's been used for thousands years for medical, social, and religious reasons as well as for relaxation.
David: And where did you get that info from?
Jc: I got it off a couple of different sites. I had to write a paper on this subject last year at the college I graduated from.
David: See that right there shows you are bias to the subject.
Jc: No I’m not bias (while shoving popcorn in the mouth), I just know for a fact that it has more helpful benefits.
David: Ok, but it is still a gate way drug.
Jc: Do you even know what gate way drug means? (While getting up to get the computer)
David: What do you mean?
Jc: (while reading off the computer website) a habit-forming drug that, while not itself addictive.
David: How can you say that it isn’t when people that do harder drugs say that they started with weed?
Jc: Ok Ok, but from me smoking weed I’ve never went mid puff and stopped and said I think I’ll try meth next. That just doesn’t happen.
David: I see what you are saying, but do you think it can lead to other drugs?
Jc: In some cases weed being a gate way drug is true. But also in some cases weed isn’t a gateway drug, many believe that alcohol and cigarettes are a gate way drug.
David: But it’s also illegal.
Jc: Alcohol was also illegal at one point in time too, but people still did it anyway. There were even senators that helped get the illegal alcohol through the state.
David: So you are saying that sooner or later weed will be legal in every state.
Jc: Yes, I do.
David: I think you are wrong and that it won’t become legal in all the states..
Jc: Because people are starting to see that weed isn’t that bad and that it can help make money and also help a lot of people.
David: Ok well I still think you are very wrong in the way you think and the way you look at weed.
Jc: You can think I’m wrong all you want. I know my facts and I know what’s wrong and what’s right.
David: I am so pissed right now. You are so ignorant, you dopper! (he stands up and leaves the room)
Jc: Well, I guess he is mad at me. Let him be, after all he is an ignorant person, not me! (while heading to the bathroom laughing at the situation)
Having a conversation is one of the best ways of building relationships between family members, friends and work groups in a society. It is a way in which human beings develop their social aspects, whether it is in a formal or non-formal relationship. Dialogues act as a form of education to the society, and it is the first step in changing the world. A person’s perception on certain issues may change due to the different ideas contributed during a conversations. Having a healthy conversation is very important as this leaves each participant with something to think about. According to Zeldin engaging in a real conversation requires a person to be more involved with the process of receiving or sending data (3). This essay will focus on elements of a good dialogue and those that undermine a good dialogue.
A healthy conversation is one where everyone is allowed to give their views without limitations from culture or religion. According to Zeldin, the discovery of DNA was as a result of conversations between two scientists who promised to say anything they were thinking (55). This is a healthy element of dialogue which clearly produced positive results. Both David and Jc give their views without fearing what they are thinking. When David gives his opinion in the first dialogue Jc asks why he thinks so and the conversation continues without any of them making hesitations or fear of opposing each other. Both Jc and David say what they believe openly. It is crucial to note that a good dialogue does not necessary mean one party has to win. It provokes the human mind to see things in a different way and respect other person’s opinion.
In contrast, it is impossible to have a good dialogue with people who show disrespect for others. Satisfaction is not possible if parties do not show mutual respect towards each other (Zeldin 28). Disrespect between conversing people undermines a dialogue. In the second script, there are instances where David and Jc do not respect each other’s ideas. David has already formed an opinion and does want to listen to Jc’s point of view. These include the waving of hands and calling names such as stupid. David expresses his sentiments with meanness in his eyes as described in the script. Jc on the other hand refers to David as dumb because of his opinion. To establish satisfaction in a conversation there is need to establish a respectful environment between parties that are having a conversation.
A good dialogue should be supported by some facts. In Corrigan’s opinion there are steps involved in having a dialogue (12). In these guidelines everyone should research on the particular topic of discussion before engaging in the dialogue. In the first script, Jc refers to a website to support his information. Each person should also pause and think about what the other person has said. This is an element that is clearly shown in the first script. If one person in a conversation is committed to presenting solid facts to prove that a statement is true and not what the majority believe then there is need to rethink (Corrigan 9). This as noted by Corrigan is an aspect of a good dialogue.
Making an effort to rethink in a different way assists most people to see the truth and is part of a good dialogue. In the first script, Jc agrees with David that in some cases marijuana acts as a gate way drug. Although he does not agree with David’s opinion, he tries to view things from Jc’s point of view. Though he says the instances are circumstantial when it comes to a person’s status of health, it shows he can think of things in a different way altogether.
Having a binary mind is an element that undermines a good dialogue. Binary thinking terms events or aspects of life in black or white or evil or good. A binary mind believes that a person is either good or evil. Life is viewed as either in black or in white. If a person adopts this kind of thinking, then listening to other person’s opinion becomes impossible. The importance of having conversations is to be able to comprehend different aspects of life from a different point of view. It is the ability to hold interesting talks and locking out other people’s opinions is one of the ways of undermining a good conversation (Corrigan 1). In the first script one of the characters in the conversation, David has already labeled marijuana as a harmful drug with no benefits. In his view, Marijuana should not be used. Jc believes that Marijuana is not harmful, if taken by terminally ill patients. The proof provided by Jc, does not deter David from his point of view. David is an excellent example of a person with binary thinking, whereas Jc can be categorized as a person who sees the issue in gray. Jc goes further to give his reason why Marijuana is not harmful, but David is stuck on his belief and does not want to accept that there is a possibility of marijuana being beneficial. Most people assume that God is binary and to Him things are either black or white. People base the binary thinking in this light only. This notion is wrong according to (Corrigan 7) and he cites bible verses such as Matthew 25 to demystify this.
When writing a conversation it is vital to include the activities that surround the conversation, to make it livelier. It is a way of showing the reader what goes on during a conversation. It provides a clear picture of how parties in a conversation behave making it more lively and interesting to read. Dialogues are best done when doing something else like sitting around a fire, watching a movie or eating together. It creates a friendly environment conducive for conversations. However, it may or may not lead to a good conversation. In the second script, David and Jc had the initiative of having the conversation in a friendly environment. In the end, each of them leaves without watching the movie. Corrigan reminds his readers that the best memories are derived from conversations where people are all doing something together (2).
Conclusively, dialogues have for long been known to exist centuries back and they continue to exist in our day to day lives. When carried correctly they solidify the societal relationships and improve people’s knowledge regarding many issues. In the Christian theology, Jesus used dialogues to communicate his messages to the people. Jesus had many dialogues with his followers and disciples. From Wood and Gianpiero’s article, the tendency towards dualism is not a healthy way to engage in thinking (31). The authors cite that unless people adapt to a brain that permits the alternative in a conversation, the human dilemma will always be in existence (32). Therefore, the human education cannot be said to be complete if people are not keen on engaging with other continents in the world. On page 94, of his article, Zelding argues that this is the only way in which people can improve the intellectual capacity of the human brain. From the dialogues, it is clear that respect from one party to another is crucial to avoid conflicts. Being gray is a way of eliminating ignorance within ourselves. It not only allows a person to have a good dialogue, but also helps in seeing things from different perspective.
Works Cited
Corrigan, Paul. "Dialogue will be the Theme and method of this Course." English Composition II Course Overview. 2013: 1-13.
Wood, Jack, and Gianpiero Petriglieri. "Transcending Polarization: Beyond Binary Thinking." Transactional Analysis Journal. 35.1 2005: 31- 39.
Zeldin, Theodore. Conversation: How talk can change our lives. Peachtree City, GA: Hidden Spring, 2000.
