Social networking media have taken the Internet by storm as people subscribe to it or use any of the available sites online. Considering that these sites are easily available on the Internet, the temptation to try what these sites offer is high. Facebook, Twitter, Multiply – all these provide meaningful social interactions that, when spent too much time on, could spell disaster on some relationships. As such, too much use of Facebook could drive a partner to fits of jealousy, develop low self-esteem, spy and stalk the other party, and make the partner feel insecure.
Facebook is the most popular among the social networking sites now. It has become an integral part of one's life as it helps people, including relatives from far-away places, become reconnected. It is helping this generation develop relationships with other people as well as widen their social network because it is free and most everybody uses the site. Thus, communication is easier. In addition, developing friendships with people from other nations allows one to know more about another individual's religion, customs, culture, and tradition. It has also turned into an online diary where one can post about the happenings around one's life. It makes an open book out of one's life as messages, posts, and pictures can be shared by all to see. Even people who are unknown to the one posting the messages can view the images depending on one's settings. A chat box allows for real time communication between friends, which can even be used for voice chat and video. It also offers hundreds of online games that can be played among online friends. It also becomes an avenue for new relationships to develop and for online dating.
Despite the many advantages of Facebook, it has also become a means for real-life relationships to experience romantic connection issues. Elphinston & Noller (2011) argue that there are apparent "links between Facebook intrusion, jealousy in romantic relationships, and relationship outcomes" (631) among couples that underwent a study pertaining the effects of Facebook on relationships. The study showed that as the time spent on the use of Facebook increased, so did the addiction towards the social networking site increased, which later on interfered with the relationship of some couples in the study. Those who did try to remove themselves away from the social networking site experienced withdrawal symptoms due to failure of accessing the site, frustration when attempting to reduce their Facebook time, and a feeling of overwhelming satisfaction when connected with other people on Facebook (631).
Based on the results of the study, it showed that the more time an individual spends connecting with others using Facebook, the higher is the chance that one of the parties in the relationship will experience Facebook jealousy (Elphinston & Noller 632). This is largely evident as Facebook jealousy occurs when a partner adds an individual from the opposite sex who is not personally known to the other partner (Papp, Danielewicz, & Cayemberg 86). Thus, relationship satisfaction is hugely based on and can be predicted gauging the manner of using Facebook accounts. For instance, depending on how couples declare their relationship status has a huge impact on relationship satisfaction. If a man declares publicly on his profile that he is already "in a relationship", then his partner will not have issues about it because people who see his account already knows he is "taken". However, pronouncing the status as "single" when in fact he is in a relationship could trigger relationship issues as the woman will perceive this announcement as "a way to receive contact from [other] potential partners" (Papp, Danielewicz, & Cayemberg 86). On the other hand, uploading a profile picture with both partners in it means a more stable and satisfying relationship between the couple. It could also be perceived as a way to alleviate a partner's fears or issues about the relationship (Papp, Danielewicz, & Cayemberg 86).
When an individual in the relationship feels a threat coming from outside factors in the couple's relationship, especially one coming from an unknown "Facebook friend", incidences of jealous fits, Facebook account hacking, monitoring the partner's Facebook activities, and spying the potential third-party threat's account occur (Elphinston & Noller 632). These make the "aggrieved party" harboring jealous thoughts and engaging in activities that he or she would not necessarily do in other normal circumstances. In addition, other studies reveal that couples use Facebook as investigation grounds when they want to check on their partner's loyalty or "evidences of unfaithfulness, such as inappropriate messages or photos" (Darvell, Walsh, & White 717) posted by the partner or other people.
Elphinston & Noller (2011) further suggest that excessive attachment to Facebook, or also known as Facebook intrusion, is harmful to relationships as it interrupts how an individual conducts his or her daily activities. Doing so, Facebook intrusion negatively influences any relationships and promotes dissatisfaction on both the perpetrator and aggrieved party's relationship (633).
Furthermore, frequent use of Facebook only highlights how partners perceive their relationship as it tests an individual's self-esteem in relation to how much trust he or she places on the relationship as well as the partner (Darvell, Walsh, & White 718). A relationship partner who has a high self-esteem and self-worth will have a higher trust level on their partner, while those with low self-esteem are more prone to jealousy, suspicion, and surveillance tactics. Thus, this only corroborates the studies about the connection between the two Facebook-specific behaviors (Darvell, Walsh, & White 718). According to studies, individuals who have great mistrust on their partners are more likely to engage in recurrent partner-monitoring activities on Facebook. On the other hand, while self-esteem may indicate how one perceives oneself, including the status of the relationship, it did not necessarily contribute to an individual's need to monitor their partner's Facebook activities (Darvell, Walsh, & White 721).
As a whole, there is no doubt that Facebook creates a new environment where maintaining a satisfying and loving relationship is difficult. People break up when partners change relationship statuses in order to hide their real status or when a partner engages in unexpected and inappropriate communication with another person. The feelings of social connection may provide high levels of satisfaction psychologically, but in the end, romantic relationships suffer due to too much attention spent on enhancing social connections. People who develop a strong reliance on Facebook for their own psychological happiness do not realize that they are inhibiting themselves from developing long and intimate relationships with people they already have in their life. Thus, people who have children or are in committed relationships end up with strained relationships and dissatisfied partners.
Works Cited
Darvell, Millie, J., Walsh, Shari, P., & White, Katherine, M. "Facebook Tells Me So: Applying the Theory of Planned Behavior to Understand Partner-Monitoring Behavior on Facebook." CyberPsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking 14.12 (2011): 717-722. PDF.
Elphinston, Rachel., & Noller, Patricia. "Time to Face It!!! Facebook Intrusion and the Implications for Romantic Jealousy and Relationship Satisfaction." CyberPsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking 14.11 (2011): 631-635. PDF.
Papp, Lauren, M., Danielewicz, Jennifer, & Cayemberg, Crystal. "Are We Facebook Official? Implications of Dating Partners' Facebook Use and Profiles for Intimate Relationships Satisfaction." CyberPsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking 15.12 (2012): 85-90. PDF.
