The Power of Eye Contact
Abstract
Eye contact is acceptable in some cultures, while in others it can be taboo. In America, making eye contact is an important part of communication. In Japan, eye contact during conversation can be distracting and disrespectful. The cultural expectations of Americans and Japanese people directly influence their very different feelings and reactions concerning eye contact.
Normal or Taboo Behavior:
The Power of Eye Contact
The power of eye contact is undeniable. When one person gazes into the eyes of another, it sends a significant message; however, whether this is a positive message or an offensive one varies on the situation and culture of the people sharing the gaze. In America, making eye contact is essential for polite communication. However, in Japan, eye contact can be considered taboo or rude, a social gaffe to be avoided.
Any American who has taken a public speaking course, read a magazine article about dating advice, or studied the body language of successful business people and politicians has repeatedly heard that good eye contact is essential to good communication. In almost any situation where Americans speak to each other one-on-one or in a group, eye contact is not only acceptable, but also expected.
“Making and maintaining eye contact is not only important, it is essential when conversing with someone, especially if you want to be taken seriously,” because it shows interest in the other person and what they have to say, respect, and that they are being understood (Elemental English 2011, ¶ 2, 4). When people make eye contact during a personal conversation or with a group that they are speaking to, other people respond by paying more attention to the speaker’s words, placing trust in the sincerity of the speaker, and displaying body language in reaction to how they feel about the speaker’s words. Making eye contact means, “I want to be understood, and I care about how you feel about my words.”
Making eye contact is not to be confused with staring with an uninterrupted gaze at other people. Most Americans interpret staring as a rude intrusion, a behavior curbed even in children. Staring can also appear to be a warning, an aggressive challenge, or predatory behavior.
In America, a refusal to make eye contact often has a very negative effect on other people, filling them with suspicion about the person refusing to meet their gaze. For instance, in a CBS interview about a kidnapping suspect with an expert at identifying people who lie, the expert said, “she knew the other person was lying because, ‘He refused to make eye contact’” (Graham 2009, ¶ 10). For Americans, refusing to make eye contacts shows lack of interest, disrespect, or as in the previous example, dishonesty and bad intentions. They may respond by failing to pay attention to the speaker or questioning the honesty and intent of the speaker.
Maintaining eye contact with an audience during public speaking is even more important than in casual conversation in America. Lisa Marshall of The Public Speaker writes, “When we engage in normal conversation typically we maintain eye contact, except when we are planning our next words” (2011, ¶ 19). When speaking to others in a spontaneous and conversational way, pauses and lapses in eye contact are expected and not interpreted as disrespect. Marshall points out that failing to make constant eye contact with an audience “when making a presentation or participating in an interview . . . makes the speaker look unprepared and therefore somewhat disrespectful” (2011, ¶ 20). Americans expect that if someone has taken the trouble to gather an audience in a public speaking situation, the speaker must fully engage with the audience through eye contact. If the speaker fails to do so, the audience will respond by becoming impatient, failing to pay attention, and viewing the speaker as having wasted their time.
In Japan, eye contact is interpreted completely differently than it is in America; too much is considered disrespectful, over-familiar, or an invitation to an aggressive challenge, akin to the way Americans feel about staring. Much of the difference in the way the Japanese interpret eye contact is because averting the eyes is a way to show respect for someone with a higher status.
This cultural difference can be jarring for the uninitiated American. Even experienced politicians like Walter Mondale, who visited Japan to make a speech in 1975, found the difference between American and Japanese customs concerning eye contact disconcerting when he noticed that over half the audience closed their eyes as he gave his speech. Angrily, he asked the U.S. ambassador why he bothered to give the speech when most of the audience appeared to be sleeping, and “the ambassador replied, ‘they closed their eyes to close out everything else in order to digest your speech’” (Rugsaken 2006, ¶ 13).
An American who begins a conversation with an unfamiliar Japanese person and attempts to maintain eye contact while speaking can find the eye contact serves to make the conversation difficult. Rather than paying attention to the American’s words, the Japanese person may spend more time wondering if this conversation is a challenge or a show of disrespect. To the Japanese, a glance and a nod or bow are enough to show engagement in the conversation or situation. As Eurasian Singaporean author Rex Shelley writes, “Do not misjudge a Japanese who avoids eye contact with you. It may be a sign of respect for you” (1992, ¶ 4).
While globalization has had a large effect on influencing cultural norms throughout the world, many of the basic standards of behavior based on tradition remain the same. Making eye contact continues to be encouraged in America, while in Japan it remains a taboo as a sign of respect. Understanding why eye contact is either acceptable or taboo in a particular culture or situation is essential in establishing productive communication.
References
Elemental English (2011, Sept. 13). The Importance of Eye Contact. Elemental English: Teaching the English of Everyday Life. Retrieved from http://www.elementalenglish.com/2011/09/the-importance-of-eye-contact/
Graham, Bill (2009, Sept. 30). Eye Contact is One of the Most Important Tools in Business. New Jersey Newsroom. Retrieved from http://www.newjerseynewsroom.com/economy/eye-contact-is-one-of-the-most-important-tools-in-business
Marshall, Lisa B. (2011, Oct. 11). Common Eye Contact Mistakes. The Public Speaker. Retrieved from http://publicspeaker.quickanddirtytips.com/Eye-Contact-Mistakes.aspx
Rugsaken, K. (2006). Body speaks: Body language around the world. RNACADA Clearinghouse of Academic Advising Resources. Retrieved from http://www.nacada.ksu.edu/Clearinghouse/AdvisingIssues/body-speaks.htm
Shelley, R. (1992). Culture Shock! Japan [Excerpt]. Portland: Graphic Arts Publishing Center. Retrieved from http://students.ed.uiuc.edu/ushiroda/non_verbal_communication.htm
