A Treat For the Pain
Evaluative claim: What is the evaluative claim made in this essay? What is the Y term used in the essay? Is it specific enough or too broad? Does the author use good evaluative terms? Are there any weak terms used?
The evaluative claim is that doctors are too keen to prescribe pain killers to patients rather than taking the time to understand what is causing the pain, and treating the root of the illness. This is a suitably specific claim.
Criteria: What specific criteria are developed in this evaluation argument? Does the author successfully analyze how well the topic meets that criterion? Are there any criteria that the author doesn't consider but should? Are there any criteria that you find questionable?
The author lists statistics of how many patients are placed on such inappropriate and potentially harmful drugs, which provides a solid basis for evaluation. Furthermore, the author discusses how doctors prescribe such drugs without really knowing the level of pain there are dealing with.
Opposing viewpoints: Does the author address opposing viewpoints? How does the author show that his/her definition is better?
The author does not seem to tackle opposing viewpoints to the argument. This is certainly a downside of the essay and needs addressing. Without a different viewpoint, it is impossible to tell whether or not the author’s argument is superior.
Sources: How many different sources are used? Are they appropriate or not? Were there any sources you expected to hear from but didn't? Is there a certain view or side to the story that you feel should have been represented by a source but wasn't? Or, are all the views and sides covered?
There are three sources used, and all are from an academic library and therefore credible. Three sources seems a good number for an essay of this length, but one which represents an opposing viewpoint would improve the essay dramatically.
Quotations: Did the author use quotations in the essay? If so, were there too many, too few, or just the right amount? If not, did you feel a need for some quotations? Why? If there were quotations, which ones were strong? Were there any that seemed weak?
The author has not used any direct quotes, only paraphrasing. It would be interesting to see a direct quote, but not essential, as the author has paraphrased useful parts of the sources and has done it effectively.
Conclusion: How does the author conclude the argument? Does the essay end on a strong note? If not, how could the conclusion be stronger?
The conclusion is strong in that it summarises the essay. The central argument is that this type of drug is used too often by doctors who are not in full possession of the facts. Moreover, if the doctors are not educated in the drugs to a suitable level, this matter can never improve.
Works Cited Page: Is there a Works Cited page listed at the end of the assignment? Does the Works Cited page use proper MLA documentation? If not, kindly remind your writing partner that the assignment requires a Works Cited page.
There is a Works Cited page and it is complete in that it lists the source that the author has used. It is also written in MLA formatting style.
Grammar:
You do not need to edit your writing partner's paper. Please simply write "yes" or "no" to the questions below. Does the feature contain any of the following:
Incomplete sentences?
No
Run-on sentences?
No
Missing articles (a, an, the)?
No
Problems with verb tenses?
No
Spelling errors?
Yes
Particularly strong is the introduction as it provides a clear picture of what the essay is going to explore, and what the evaluative claim is. Another strength is the use of statistics
concerning the prescription of drugs.
This piece could do with an opposing viewpoint, which is preferably then discussed so that the reader can see the author’s argument is better. Furthermore, a direct quote could be added in from a knowledgeable person from a source, for example a doctor.
