Discuss attachment theory in the context of Tongan child-rearing practice
Attachment theory is believed that the children in the world are biologically designed to be prone to attachments to others (Crittenden, 2008). This can be clearly seen in the Tongan community especially since children do not get whatever they need from their parents. In Tongan child, rearing practice can be seen to be cruel or inhuman by other people in other cultures. This is because the Tongan children grow in a strict environment in which they are not shown love or affection by their parents, elder siblings or their extended family members. It is a fact that Tongan children are usually raised by both their parents and the other extended family members such as uncles, aunts and grandparents. Sometimes the parents give their children away in order to be taken care of by their relatives so as to learn about their Tongan ways.
This is brought on when the parents are living in a different environment where they practice different cultures. They send their children in order to learn their culture and traditions. This could have a huge effect on the children because the Tongan children are usually treated differently from what they are used to. In the Tongan community, the children are usually punished by their parents, relatives and the elder siblings whenever they do something wrong. The younger children especially those of ages between three to five years are considered to be mischievous by the elders in the community. This is why this is the age when the children are mostly beaten for any little thing they do such as cry for food or when they just simply cry. Whenever a child falls down, they are beaten, laughed at or shouted at by their elder relatives. The main reason for this punishments is the requirement of total discipline for children in Tongan community is so that the child will grow up to be social competent (Lee, 2003).
The children who are not used to this customs usually begin to be distant, affectionless, remote and unhappy. This is why when they are adolescent they end up being criminals or isolate themselves completely from their parents. It is a fact that children who receive love at a younger age usually end up well or good members of a society. When children do not have dependent or feel unsecure due to the verbal and physical abuse they receive will end up not knowing themselves thus ends up isolating themselves from others including their peers. This will make the children have intense need for revenge or love towards others.
What do you think John Bowlby and/or Mary Ainsworth would say about child-rearing practices in Tonga?
John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth would not like the child rearing practices in Tonga. This is because the children are brought up in an environment, which they are usually physically and mentally abused, by their caregivers and other relatives. Bowlby and Mary would think that the children will end up growing to be affectionless or their development will be disrupted in that they will not be able to have normal childhood behaviours (Van der Horst, 2011). This will henceforth cause damage to the children in that they may end up having an intense need for revenge or love. In the intense need for love or revenge, they may end up committing crimes so as to get attention from their parent. There are some children who are been separated from their parents in order to learn about their culture and tradition.
In Tonga, the children are under different circumstances in that they are unable to be themselves the way they are used to. In that different world, the children were treated different from the way the Tongan people treat their children. Most societies the children are treated with love and care while in Tonga the children are raised with punishments and abuses in order to make them be competent members in the society. Bowlby would comment on the maternal deprivation in which the children are separated from their parents thus they could end up resenting their parents (Van der Horst, 2011). When it comes to Ainsworth she would comment on the lack of secure attachment that the children have in their lives (Ainsworth, 1985, P.28). The lack of secure attachment could make the children to feel insecure around everyone thus could end up being paranoid of everyone.
Do you think they would find Tongan children to be “securely attached”?
The term securely attached especially in children is brought on by the way they are treated with care and given attention or their parents meet their every need while being raised up. In this case, John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth would not find Tongan children to be securely attached. This is because the children are usually physically punished at a young age for simple mistakes or for crying for food or falling down. To the Tongan people this is a normal way of treating their children because when they were younger they were treated the same way (Morton, 1996). It is a fact that most children who feel secure have a normal childhood compared to those who do not feel secure.
Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby would not feel that the children in these cases would have a normal childhood. The children would grow in total fear of everything they do because they know that they will not be treated well by any member of the family. Apart from the caregivers or parents punishing the children in the Tongan community the extended family are also included in that they have a say in how the child is brought up and they can punish or abuse them as they wish. According to Mary and Bowlby, this will cause the child to not trust, anyone in the family therefore, they would grow mistrusting anyone in the community thus ending up as loners or isolate themselves from others.
Why or why not might their theories apply in the Tongan cultural context.
The theories of Bowlby and Mary apply in looking at the Tongan culture especially in child rearing practices. The security theory which was used by Mary will be used in this case because the younger children in Tongan society are usually mistreated as a way to teach the children lessons (Brodie, 2010). This will make the children to start having disorganized attachment in that the child will start having random outburst of emotions towards anyone. This will be evident especially when the children are at school and they may end up being bullies or they may end up being the bullied. The child will grow up being very emotionless up to their adult life in that they may not respond well with their peers or their elders. Both Bowlby and Ainsworth will use the attachment theory for the children from the Tongan community.
According to Bowlby, he believes that children are wired to feel attachment when they are born. It is a fact that attachment behaviours in children is induced by the way the children are been brought up by their parents (Van der Horst, 2011). In the upbringing, it looks at the way the parents treat their children either with sensitivity and care or with abuse and punishments. The Tongan children are prone to have attachment issues. This is because they are punished or abused at anytime they make any slight mistake. The worst part is that the children who are mostly punished are of ages between three years to five years. This is the age when children need the love and care of their parents, thus whatever way they are brought up could end up affecting the lives of these children. These children feel insecure and fear to do anything especially when they are hungry.
In Tongan communities, the children are seen to be naughty in that when they cry for food it is seen to be insolence and nothing more (Morton, 1996). There are other people from the Tongan community who leave their homes and live in other areas where the culture and languages is different. This causes them to send their children back to Tonga in order for them to be able to be educated about their culture. This separation from their parents has adverse effects on the children especially for those who are not used to the punishments that the Tongan communities have in their society. This could cause resentments of the children towards their parents and any Tongan communities. The children have maternal deprivation because of the separation between the mother and child when they are taken back to Tonga in order to know more about their culture (Mercer, 2006). The children in the Tongan community begin having attachment problems because of the mistreatment they get from their parents and other family members.
Reference
Ainsworth, M. (1985). Patterns of attachment. Clinical Psychologist , 27-29.
Brodie, R. (2010). Mary Ainsworth and Attachment Theory. Child Development Media Inc.
Crittenden, PM. (2008). Raising parents: attachment, parenting and child safety. Oregon: Willan Publishing.
Lee, H. M. (2003). Tongans Overseas: Between Two Shores. University of Hawaii Press.
Mercer, J. (2006). Understanding Attachment: Parenting, child care, and emotional development. Westport, CT: Praeger Publishers.
Morton, H. (1996). Becoming Tongan: An Ethnography of Childhood. University of Hawaii Press.
Van der Horst, FCP. (2011). John Bowlby - From Psychoanalysis to Ethology. Unraveling the Roots of Attachment Theory. Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell.
