Everyone has two sides, the outside that is known to everyone, and the inside, which is mostly unknown to anyone. Knowing this, everyone wants to improve and develop skills that can help their outside behavior, and ignore the inner one. It is a part of the human nature to care more about what others think, and care less about the self (Johnson, 67). Human is to error and therefore everyone makes mistakes. That being said, no one is perfect, in fact, it would be abnormal if anyone is perfect. Everyone needs to accept that it is the nature of humans to make mistakes. Without mistakes, no one will know if he/she did the right thing or not. Moreover, no feedback will be given if there were no mistakes. Therefore, most of us will be asking older people before doing anything, because they have gained a lot of experience from life issues and mostly, have learned from their mistakes. Most people with the shadow archetype blame others instead of fixing their own issues. Moreover, the people see the shadows in others and denying it in themselves. Even though the shadow archetype is unknown to the self, it can be taught and fixed by people’s feedback.
There are many ways to fix this kind of problem, however listening to a friend or family advice is the best way to cure the problem. The shadow archetype makes a person blame others all the time without realizing their problem because it is unknown to them. Since the shadow is unknown to the self, it can only be identified by the people around a person. In the following paragraphs, a story from my childhood will support the idea in which listening to parents is the most valuable thing. Dealing with the shadow properly has enlightened me and made my social life better than it used to be.
Making friends had been a serious issue to me infact, I deeply suffered from this problem. I had been a part of many cliques drifting from friends to friends. When I was a kid, most people had three friends or more, and I was thinking why good things happen to bad people and why I was the lonely guy? I did not do anything to deserve such a thing of being lonely with no friends. I tried to attend every party that my school did, in order to meet new friends, it did work for me. At that time I was so depressed albeit I was only fourteen. Feeling lonely is not the best thing anyone would want; it can literally ruin the person’s life. Nevertheless, I blamed others by insulting them with ignorance instead of fixing my own problems. I had that personality that everyone was wrong and I was right. Here comes the part whereby one’s shadow can be seen by others and not be recognized by the self. This is exactly what happened to me. I used to think that no one cares about me and thy only care about their own live. What I never realized was that people do cared about me but I was the one who was mean to them. At that time, my parents advised me to try communicating with other people and try figuring out what was the problem. Without questioning I said no, because in my thoughts I knew that I was right and they were wrong and I felt that no one understood me. One day before I went to bed, my mom told me that if I continued ignoring what other people feel, I would live lonely for the rest of my life. I was always alone in school since no child felt like talking to me. Furthermore, I even had no friends at home and I was always very lonely. The next day in school, I went to one of my classmates that I really used to like and I started a conversation with her. That day, I met one of the most important person in my life. She was very nice to me. She was innocent, friendly and accepted my personality. Unlike the other kids in our school, I did not want to hurt her feelings; I very much enjoyed her company. Everything was fabulous; I could not believe that anyone would like me that much. We talked about school work, our families and about my mothers an idea that is should start talking to other people or else I will die lonely. At first she laughed at me but later told me that my mum was right. She told me that I always ignore the rest of the kids and I never cared much about their feelings. Many weeks later, I asked her, “Why is it that no one talked to me before?” and she replied “Why are you waiting for someone to start up a conversation?” At first, I told her she is stupid with her thinking and she told me “this is what am talking about, you careless about other people, all you think is about yourself“. We argued for sometime but later I came to my senses and I realized I was very wrong. This was the only time I realized that I have been wrong very time. That was really a shocking moment for me infact, I regretted every second I spent with myself. After that, I started talking to other people and I took every opportunity I could have just to come out of my darker side. She made me realize that I was seeing shadows in other people and denying it in myself. So everything became better and thanks to my mom and her advice. This is when my confidence in myself shot to the sky. According to Campbell, “The shadow is the part of you that you don’t know is there. Your friends see it, however, and it’s also why some people don’t like you. The shadow is you as you might have been; it is that aspect of you which might have been if you had allowed yourself to fulfill you unacceptable potential self” (Campbell 73). The shadow archetype makes a person blame other people instead of seeing the problem one has.
After regaining my self-awareness, I now have another view on myself and other people in general. Nowadays, I always think I am wrong, and others are right. Exactly the opposite approach that I had experienced in the past with my shadow. In my situation, the shadow archetype made me suffer at the beginning from lack of social interaction, but eventually through my mother’s advice and talking to my friend in school, it made me happier and more sociable.
Works Cited
Campbell, Joseph. Pathways to Bliss: Mythology and Personal Transformation. California: New World Library, 2004. Print.
Johnson, Robert A. Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche. New York: Harper San Francisco, 1993. Print.
