INTERVIEW
Interview
The first interviewee was an American female. She was seventy-eight years old and widowed. She has three brothers and two sisters, four children and is of Belgium and German descent. Presently, she is retired, but she spent her life as a bookkeeper, and later became a nurse before retiring. She lives alone.
Please tell me about your childhood, family, and school life.
The interviewee’s parents moved to America before she was born. She is a first-generation American who grew up and lived for most of her life in Boston. Her father worked in a steel factory in order to feed her family, and her mother helped run a home for children and women who had father’s and brothers who were away or had died in the war. School was difficult, as she was made fun of for, “Looking Jewish,” even though she is not.
Do you consider yourself old? At what ages (or stages) did you notice that you were getting older? How do you feel about changes?
“I didn’t feel old until my eyesight started to go.” When the interviewee was diagnosed with macular degeneration at the age of seventy-six, she truly felt old. Before then, she felt that every wrinkle, line, and spot had been earned. “The idea of not being able to drive, read, or get around makes me feel old.”
What is the most important historical event or period of time that you lived through? How did it influence or affect you personally?
She was only a girl, but WWII was the greatest event. She was “teased relentlessly for my curly hair and big nose.” Children told her to go back to Germany. It made her self-conscious about her looks for many years and it was not until she met her husband that she became comfortable with herself.
What is the biggest change you have seen in how people live their everyday lives today compared to when you were younger?
“Cellphones are just the worst thing I have ever seen!” The interviewee does not understand how something meant to bring everybody together pushes them apart. She remarked on how her granddaughter bought her one only to text her on it. “She felt so far away. I want to hear a voice, or see a face. Write me a letter even!” She believes cell phones also waste people’s time, when they could live in the moment.
The interviewee recounted when her children were young and she was a stay-at-home mom.
“I loved every second, even when they were screaming heathens. You don’t get any of it back.”
She understood one day they leave, and really enjoyed raising them and nurturing them.
What things have you accomplished that are important to you? What things do you still want to accomplish?
As a woman who had two careers during a time when it was odd for a woman to have one, she was very proud to have established herself as a nurse and a bookkeeper in an effort to help care for her family.
What advice would you give younger people to help them prepare for their older age? To prepare for your life?
She stated, “It is best to take it day by day.” Her husband seemed to wish his whole life away, though in excitement, waiting for days or weeks instead of living in the moment.
Have you ever experienced any negative attitudes or discrimination because of your age? Please explain.
People will always look at you differently because you are older, she stated. The elderly are cast aside like used equipment. She has not faced discrimination, though many scream at her assuming she cannot hear. “I hear just fine. It’s my eyesight that’s going unfortunately.”
What are your plans for the future?
“I am happy to live here and see my children and grandchildren on the weekends.” At her age, she revealed you do not plan too far ahead.
How do you want to be remembered?
The interviewee wants to be remembered fondly, and for how patient she tried to be, even when her children were screaming, or all of them were being bad at the same time.
Do you fear dying? Why or why not?
“Oh of course not,” said the interviewee immediately, before asking how else I thought she was going to see her husband. She is not waiting for death, or excited for it. She simply knows it is inevitable, and will allow it into her life, as a natural part of it, when it comes.
The second interviewee was a ninety-year-old male who was born in Russia and moved to South Dakota when he was two. He has nine brothers and sisters and four children. His wife is eighty-eight, and still lives with him. He spent his entire life as a barber with a short interval wherein he fought in the Korean War.
Please tell me about your childhood, family, and school life.
The interviewee does not remember much about his childhood, other than his mother used to sing when she did the dishes. “She had a beautiful voice.” School was difficult for him because they did not have a lot of money for clothes or supplies, but he was close with his siblings.
Do you consider yourself old? At what ages (or stages) did you notice that you were getting older? How do you feel about changes?
He laughed when asked if he was old. “Old? Yes, of course. I’m surprised I have made it this far.” He noticed he was old the first time he could not drive himself to one of his children’s homes alone.
What is the most important historical event or period of time that you have lived through? How did it influence or affect you personally?
“The war (Korean) was important because I was there.” He did not say much more, as many veterans prefer to do, and I chose to respect this.
What is the biggest change you have seen in how people live their everyday lives today compared to when you were younger?
“The cars are far better than they were when I was younger!” He was excited about the speed, even if he could not take advantage of it. He also enjoys the air conditioning and heat.
When he returned from the war and began to start a family with his wife were the best years of his life. He enjoyed being away from the men he knew, and being able to relax at home. He had missed his barbershop. All he had ever wanted was a family.
What things have you accomplished that are important to you? What things do you still want to accomplish?
Providing for his family was the greatest accomplishment the interviewee thought of. Today, he would still like to be able to do something for his grandchildren, but does not see himself being able to give anybody a haircut, “they’d tip me for.”
What advice would you give younger people to help them prepare for their older age? To prepare for life?
He would like more people to, “try to be happy over small things.” He thinks too many people get hung up on small things and do not appreciate little joys in life like flowers or laughter in the next room.
Have you ever experienced any negative attitudes or discrimination because of your age? Please explain.
“People have gone to other barbers, I think based on my age. A loyal customer left when I turned sixty.” In short, he has faced discrimination, unfortunately, but he still worked until sixty-six in order to provide for his family.
What are your plans for the future?
Today the interviewee lives one day at a time.
How do you want to be remembered?
At one point, he styled a handlebar mustache that made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for a year or two. He would like to be remembered for that. “Oh, and being a good father!” he added as his wife tapped his arm.
Do you fear dying? Why or why not?
He did not see a reason in fearing death, because it was a natural part of life.
Both interviewees appeared to be cycling through a stage of life that made disengagement theory applicable. They were both retired, which allowed a younger generation to come into their place. The second interviewee had actually watched this happen as he was transitioning between life stages. While both individuals remain engaged in their familiar relationships, neither mentioned friends, suggesting they may have disengaged from those relationships already. Neither had experienced outright discrimination, but did not seem extremely involved in their surrounding community, also supporting the idea that the two were experiencing disengagement, like many other adults, from their communities, friends, and lives in general. They did now welcome death, but had accepted it as a part of life and were prepared to experience it.
