Element One
It is true that the Haiti enlightenment revolution was not as strong as the French revolution since the two countries were and are not yet of equal standard. Haiti was a developing country at that moment, while France was one of the strongest powers in the world; meaning that it would be harder for Haiti to put forth enlightenment policies and principles easily as compared to France. Haiti’s Revolution brought forth the idea that slaves were human beings and thus deserved to be treated with dignity and accorded equal rights as human beings that had never been slaves.
Haiti was formerly St. Dominique, a French colony during the French Revolution. The French Revolution, thus had a great impact on Haiti and partly caused the revolt by Haiti slaves (Dubois). The people of Haiti took advantage of the opening that was created by the French in their quest to establish a change in the manner in which different classes of people interacted. The French people sought equal rights for all men. Haiti thus brought forth their claim that even slaves were human beings who also deserved equal treatment. The strength of the French revolution can thus be seen to foster a strong fight by the people of Haiti, and eventually the Haiti Revolution.
The sample essay presents valid points in discussing the two revolutions. Haiti benefited directly from the French Revolution, thus it can be said that the stronger revolution was that presented by the French. The essay uses Historical facts to bring out the argument. The points are clearly and logically presented in the sample essay, allowing readers to relate to the historical happenings in their chronological order. The essay compares the outcomes of both revolutions in determining which was most important. It is founded on facts and a clear analysis of the happenings in both countries then; before arriving at a conclusion to determine which revolution was more crucial.
Element 2
Explanation of Course Materials which should have been included
The first class material which should have been included in the sample essay to make the arguments stronger is “The Enlightenment”. This material could have helped the student to explain that the Enlightenment era served as a catalyst for The French Revolution and provided key tenets for which the revolution was undertaken. Its main motivation was to apply the earlier discoveries of science of the 17th Century which was referred to as “The Age of Reason”, to solve the problem that the society faced at that time (The Enlightenment, p5). Key among these problems was slavery, inequality and inhuman treatment as has been expounded in the sample essay. This would have improved the sample paper by showing that prior to the French Revolution, there were factors which played a key role in bringing it about and shaping the events that followed subsequently.
The second material that would have made the arguments in the sample essay better is “Macandal and Vodou : The Centrality of the Vodou to the Haitian Revolution”. This material would have been helpful in demonstrating that in becoming the first nation of black free citizens in the colony, Haitians had to struggle and endure to the bone so as to overcome and outwit the colonial masters and become a free nation (Macandal and Vodou, p.6).
The thesis statement of the sample essay is very clear and consistent with the question. The student has used adequate course materials to support all arguments expressed in the essay. Both the arguments for and against have been presented, however, the arguments against have not been properly expounded on. The prose is fairly readable and elegant. The grammar and formatting are fairly presented except for a few flaws in the sentence structure. I would award a grade B for the sample paper.
Works Cited
Dubois, Laurent. "Two Revolutions in the Atlantic World: Connections Between the American Revolution and the Haitian Revolution." The Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History. The Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History, n.d. Web. 22 June 2015. < http://www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/global-history-and-us-foreign-policy/essays/two-revolutions-atlantic-world-connection>
Macandal and Vodou: The Centrality of the Vodou to the Haitian Revolution
The Enlightenment
Works Cited
