Introduction
As a writer, I have come to appreciate the exciting and lifting moment when my mind connects with the thoughts of another, through his or her piece of writing, which enriches the my experience of the world and the area of study. Further, it is because I – don’t only – get the opportunity to read the author’s piece, but I also get the chance to explore his or her true intention through the language and the literary devices employed. The overall purpose of the writer, about the piece they are writing, determines the techniques they adopt, as well as the nature of the writing. These differences are evidenced by the works of one writer, particularly when they are authoring the different works, especially in the case where the works are intended for different audience.
Further, the writer’s rationale when writing the paper, article or a book may be manipulative –like in the case of advertising or propaganda – and in other cases it will be straightforward, which is the case with informative writing. Due to the significance of the purpose underlying the writing, understanding it aids in the interpretation of the context of the particular writing. The understanding of the underlying purpose and the intent behind the authoring of the given literature; the reader or analyst will make more sense of the decision of the writer – from the major decisions related to the information to be presented to the smallest of the words to use.
Ha Jin’s “Saboteur” is an interesting book that divulges his thoughts on aspects that change people’s personality such as hatred, revenge, stress, and excessive pride. The outlook and the perceived purpose of the book shows that it is written to express these thoughts; the question of the audience identifying with the ideas is more likely of secondary importance to him. My initial essay on Jin’s “Saboteur” was less emphatic and did not have a strong thesis statement, which could show the reader how I intend to construe the meaning of the subject matter under discussion. While the thesis had a logical point of view of the subject matter, such as demonstrating that Chiu’s personality changed gradually because of “hate, revenge, stress and excessive pride”, it discussed the subject and failed to interpret the question. Therefore through the new essay, I intend to interpret the question exhaustively, which will clarify any questions that may have been left unanswered through the previous one. However, while the thesis fails to fully interpret the topic, it makes a claim that can be easily disputed. This shows the need for adopting a thesis statement that cannot be easily disputed; it is important to develop a thesis which is defensive of its position.
The thesis takes a position about an aspect in the story and this helps in developing a strong argument, which is the real purpose of a thesis statement. The thesis helps in developing a strong argument, because it communicates to the reader, the ideas that the writer intends to communicate or to prove by giving evidence of their factual nature. The thesis is also very important to the writer, because it guides them on the line of discussion to be taken, which compels them not to lose track of the focus of the paper. Interpreting the thesis would have meant looking for possible links between known and general facts, as well as reflecting over the significance of the underlying connections, which would point out information that may not have been clear before. Through the intensive interpretation of thesis, I would gain information on the points or the ideas that the paper sought to present to the audience. More importantly, it would help me determine whether the writer stuck with their thesis or whether they got lost in the course of the discussion.
The interpretation of thesis would have helped me develop a working thesis and one that allowed for the incorporation of supporting evidence; such a thesis could also be adjusted along the way, to cover the new information exposed through the analysis. In this case, a succinct thesis would have stated as follows: “Mr. Chin’s had a rapid personality change because of hatred, revenge, stress, and excessive pride, which showed that a person’s personality can change in three days”. This thesis is more sufficient – not only because it answers the question posed at the beginning of the essay – but also that it carries with it, proof that can be divulged to rethink the changes that took place. Further, the thesis established a connection between the outcome expressed through the paper and the generalized implication of the change, which can be applied to a different context or people.
The fifth sentence of the second paragraph, where I wrote that “his intelligent is portrayed” had grammatical errors, therefore was supposed to be changed to become “his intelligence is portrayed”. This change can be justified, because; through the particular sentence, I was describing Chiu’s qualities, in this case his human intelligence. Intelligence is describable, while the word intelligent is an ascribed attribute, which shows that it could not fit into the context I had presented it in. There is also the mistake that I used similar adjectives to describe a personality trait in the same sentence. For instance, one of the cases is that of the sentence that reads “In addition, his intelligent is portrayed when he manipulates his words intelligently to win the crowd’s voices and sympathy”. The use of the same words or terminologies when describing the feature shows my lack of vocabulary; this may points out that I need to improve the vocabulary available to me, for use in my writings.
The mistake pointed out would have been corrected, and the sentence would also have sounded and read better, in the case that I had used a different word, in the place of intelligently. For example, the correction would have been, “In addition, his intelligence is portrayed when he manipulates his words smartly to win the crowd’s voices and sympathy”. In the seventh sentence of the same paragraph, I have constructed a wordy sentence and mixed past and present tense within the same context. The sentence read, “In a short time, he is able to consider many factors such as how lost and lonely his young wife can be without him in a new city”. This particular mistake could have been addressed, in the case that I had eliminated the wordiness of the sentence, which was evident and also in the case that I had changed the tense used in the sentence, to leave or past or present only.
The last sentence of the first paragraph showed evidence of the wordiness in my writing, and in the particular case it causes the sentence to have a syntax error. The sentence read that “through hate, revenge, stress and excessive pride, Mr. Chiu gradually and through three different stages evolves from a well-educated and gentleman to a ‘Saboteur’”; the sentence would have been concise, in the case that it had read as follows: “Through hate, revenge, stress, and excessive pride, Mr. Chiu gradually changed from a well-educated gentleman to a saboteur”. The writing error of wordiness is committed within a sentence, in the case that the words used by the writer are joined together in a manner that does not allow them to lose their meaning. However, expressing the same intent or meaning using fewer words is helpful, because it helps a writer to avoid using the passive voice and unnecessary repetition, which may also show that they were not able to present the meaning of the sentence using the most appropriate set of words. In this particular case, the sentence would have sounded, read and communicated the meaning in a better way, in the case that I had written it as follows: “in a short time, he is able to consider many factors, such as how lost and lonely his young wife is, without him in the new city”.
The third paragraph offers a prospect for being analytical as well as discounting the thesis in a logical and in a diagnostic way. I opened the paragraph by stating that Chiu’s straightforward and intelligent personality begins to change because of being exposed to stress and having excessive pride. While the thesis supports the idea that a person’s personality can change quickly due to the effect of different experiences, it does not present relevant evidence of such a possibility and it also did not mention whether the effect in question is a likely trait for all people. Indeed, exposure to stress has a high likelihood of changing a person’s attitude, but the question remains, whether it really changes their personality? That question is one that can be subjected to a wide-reaching debate, which could only be resolved through presenting evidence to demonstrate that the issue in question can take place. Despite the fact that I noted that personality is a combination of qualities, feelings and characteristics that make an individual unique and distinguishable, it also contributes to the person’s habit and the ways they are likely to act, within the given context of discussion. A person’s habit entails his or her repeated behaviors, and while everyone is prone to anger because of stress, I doubt whether a person’s personality can change because of the stressful experiences of a single day.
This question becomes more important, noting that the person in question demonstrates constant kindness and care all through the context of discussion, which is likely to lead to questions over the change talked about. I would have to delve into Chiu’s character to understand the man he is, based on what he says; how he treats others regularly, and his general mannerisms – so as to clearly understand the type of man that he is. This discovery would question the subject matter of personality and it would diminish my thesis statement to a subjective matter. If Chiu’s behavior was persistently shown as being unkind, unloving, and inconsiderate, then my thesis statement would have been strengthened and validated though my giving of evidence to support the position in question. The issues identified from the different lines explored as well as the context of discussion, it becomes clear that the issues reduced the credibility of the particular part of the paper, which showed flaws of writing.
Additionally, I should have considered standard notions pertaining to well-educated, sophisticated, and cultured men before making the claim that, Chiu’s excessive pride led to the changes in his personality. The general conception is that well-educated and sophisticated men as well as women show some level of pride through their interactions and character. Further, at the heart of the issue of character and personality, there are questions related to whether there are sets of morals and guiding models or principles. These would work as the foundation of overlapping consensus or personality outlooks, which would restrict the changes proposed through the case of Chiu. In making the statements more accommodative and sensitive, I would argue that pride, which is evidenced through his character is the guiding framework or the model, which offers some people the strengths of their personalities.
However, irrespective of the fact that this is true, it cannot be held true about all people, mainly because it is a subjective matter – which would call for a more specialized exploration of the matter before it is declared objective enough. The huge probability that the statement would be overly subjective is evident from the cases of the men and the women that are educated and cultured but not likely to act in a similar manner. The emphasis here is that many educated and cultured people show the characteristics of reacting calmly and in a decent manner, even during stressful situations. The difference therefore, is whether certain actions are persistent or that they dwindle when the triggering situation is over. For that reason, the conclusive nature of the subject matter should have been presented in a more objective manner, and where necessary allow for some level of accommodativeness about the dynamic nature of personalities and character.
After reading the essay over and over again, I realized that it contains spelling and syntax errors; these errors are caused by compound sentences and improper punctuation. The lack of knowledge on the proper usage of spelling and syntax has been used to evaluate the abilities and the competence of individuals and groups at different settings. The wide usage of spelling and grammar shows that a developed understanding of the area can be very helpful – in my writing as well as in the future. Evidence of syntax and spelling mistakes was manifest in the third paragraph of the essay, where I wrote this line: “This is first indicated when he burps once he sets on the chair in front of the chief at the interrogation bureau”. I wrote set instead of sit and the whole sentence became ungrammatical, which evidenced the spelling mistakes that I made at different other areas. The change of the spelling of the word set instead of sit gave a totally different meaning, and gave an idea that conflicted with the one intended to come from the sentence. Instead of writing the sentence like I did, I should have written is in this way: “This is indicated when he takes a sit and burps on the chair in front of the interrogation bureau”.
I also constructed a wordy sentence and used inappropriate vocabulary, at different areas including where I wrote that, “Burping is a negative approach to leave a positive first impression as well as a disrespectful and an absolutely intelligent-lacking act”. The wordiness of the sentence was likely to show the reader that I lacked the proper understanding of the way that would be fit for presenting the meaning being communicated through the sentence. The sentence would have sounded and appeared more correct, in the case that I had written it as follows: “Burping leaves a negative impression and is a disrespectful and dull way to behave towards others”. The minor punctuation errors and the problems that were on the work could have been avoided – changed and where necessary edited – in the case that I had taken the time revise the paper thoroughly, over and over again. In paragraph three, there are instances in which I joined sentences or words that should not be joined such as “innocent and” and “life.
Further,” I made the mistake of failing to balance the different paragraphs, which is a skill that demonstrates that a writer is experienced and knowledgeable in making their work appear professional and authoritative. Evidence of this mistake includes that the first paragraph had four sentences, while at the same time; the third paragraph had twenty-one sentences. In the case of the essay, a normal paragraph – written in a professionally inspired style –should have contained between eight to twelve sentences, so that it could be effective in the presentation of the points being communicated and also so that it could appear effectively presented. Each paragraph should have a new argument.
Conclusion
Revising this essay has made me learn about writing techniques that can help me improve on the different skills areas, including the use of vocabulary, commonly confused words, spellings, subject and verb agreement, and the need to always use a strong thesis to write my essays. Incorporating these newly learnt skills into my writing will inspire my abilities to communicate the intended information, and the same time improves the competency perceived from my writing. I have learned that I need to think critically of my argument by considering the known and the general facts about the subject, which entails using evidence to support the ideas presented. Incorporating evidence into a discussion demonstrates that the writer is knowledgeable and that they have consulted different resources.
The new skills require me to research the character, subject matter or the issue of discussion extensively, before I can accurately decipher the writer’s intention – when they were writing the piece. These skills will also help me to understand the different points and subjects and their relationship to the entire story. Developing the ability to do so will make me write interesting and analytical papers that, not only captivate the reader, but also give them something to ponder or learn about. I have also learned about the importance of revising my written work persistently – over and over again – which would enable me to detect and rectify any spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors in the work. Reading widely and engaging in intellectual conversations will help me build my vocabulary, which I deem necessary to the writing of a good essay or article.
