Personal Conflict
Personal Conflict
Our life is impossible without conflicts. They may surround us everywhere – at work, at home and even at our souls. However, once I analyze the conflict and try to see it “from outside”, I can see that a conflict is a positive moment: it is actually a chance to change something in your life, it is an opportunity to announce what you wanted to say long ago, it is a kind of inner renaissance. So in the paper below I will try to analyze some of personal conflicts in my life to find a rational step-by-step solution.
At the beginning of the talk about the conflict I believe it’s necessary to define the notion itself. A conflict pertains to the opposing ideas and actions of different entities, thus resulting in an antagonistic state (Evans, 2013). There are different types of conflicts, as it may happen between two people, within a group or within an individual. I will discuss personal conflicts of psychological nature; as usual these conflicts involve the individual’s thoughts, values, principles and emotions.
Surprisingly so, one of the sources of my personal conflicts is my daughter. The fact is that due to my work I spend not enough time with her. For this reason I can barely influence her behavior, her manners, her habits. I feel very guilty that I cannot watch the formation of her personality.
Upon consideration of this problem, which have taken me several sleepless nights, I realized that the guilty feeling is not constructive in this situation. It prevents me from taking right educational decisions and makes me connive at any wishes of my daughter. So my action plan on changing the situation is a s follows:
Plan the activities beforehand, to include both dynamic actions and time for one-on-one conversation.
Try to do evening readings with her at least twice a week.
Create a motivation board to be aware of her daily achievements and problems.
Thus, upon completion of this plan I hope to get rid of frustration about lack of communication with daughter and transform it into positive changes of our relationships.
Another inner conflict that I have is my social obligations and necessity to cope with all of them. The fact is that in my life I have to juggle my work, my daughter, my friends and my studies at school. It turns out to be difficult to find time and inner forces to pay proper attention to all parts of my life. Once I start to overwork I notice that I have a distance between me and my daughter and that I miss some important steps of her development, while being a good caring father is one of my most important obligations, I believe. I am a sociable person and I have a lot of friends, but due to lack of time I have to choose between them to meet and have a chat. It imposes a heavy feeling of guilt on me, and it never lets go. After giving it a thought I have decided to change situation and worked out a step-by step plan.
Analyze which of my social obligations go naturally and which of them need additional time and efforts from me (after analysis I was clear that time for my work and school is predefined, while I my family and friends lack my attention).
Schedule quite beforehand. By putting meeting with my friends in my calendar two or three weeks ahead I will save time for it and try to make sure that nothing interferes my plans. I’m sure it will help my friends too to make it work.
Prioritize. At hasty moments of my life I will take time to think and prioritize – is it really that important really? What will be the consequences in the future? It may happen that some long hours at work are actually the result of my habit to be extremely diligent in everything, while in fact there is no need in them.
Plan at maximum. It will take additional time, but I hope that planning will help me to avoid taking hasty decisions, spending time for not important things, and to find time for what really means to me.
Schedule time for myself. Doing my best to satisfy everybody around I need to remember to find time for myself, otherwise I my inner resources will be out in the end and I will have nothing to share. It will create additional anxiety and frustration. I need to plan time with a book or just having a walk alone in an interesting place.
I hope that this simple rules will enable me better organize my life to be able to fulfill all my social obligations without inner feeling of emptiness.
References
Evans B. (2013, April 16). Types of conflicts – four classifications. The Types of Conflicts. org. Retrieved from http://www.typesofconflict.org/
