What was your typical approach to negotiations before taking this class? Use your accumulated experience and insights to analyze your former approach.
Having successfully completed the class, I regard myself as a poor negotiator before I learnt what I now know. I used to talk a lot and listen less. I did not understand that negotiation depends mostly on the power relationship between both parties. I used to have poor communication skills. I used to talk too fast for the comprehension of the person with whom I was negotiating. Little did I know that talking too fast did not auger well to most of the respondents. My classmates thought that I was ‘a know it all’ person and they distanced themselves from me on that basis. Being emotional was also an aspect I exhibited while negotiating. Many at times while negotiating I realized that the master negotiators in the class tend to trick someone into getting emotional for them to make the rush and not think off decisions. By been emotional, I became reckless and aspect easily exploitable.
In college, group work is mandatory. However, not every person is usually cooperative. Occasionally, some students do not want to work for their marks during the group discussions. It happened that on one of the semesters, I was a group leader, and I happened to have this uncooperative classmate in my group. He rarely finished the tasks assigned to him, and this put all of us at risk of failing in that class. It was my duty as a group leader to ensure our success. I had to pull him aside and try to convince him he had to do the paper as required. I threatened him that we would include his names during the submission if he did not complete his part. Little did I know that he did not care about the results of his actions. Eventually, I had to complete his part myself and submit the assignment late. Luckily, we were able to obtain the professor’s mercies, and he accepted our late assignment. However, he deducted some few marks for late submission of the assignment. If I had handled the situation better, our group could not have lost the marks.
How would you characterize your approach to negotiations at the end of the semester? What (if anything) has changed? What new insights and skills (if any) have you gained about how to handle conflict?
Having realized that I was a terrible negotiator, I can now attest that I have gained and learnt a lot from this class. Although to some negotiation come naturally, for people like me the skill has to be learnt. To begin with, I have to stop been emotional when negotiating. This has exposed me in the past, and I do not want to fall victim again. To be an excellent negotiator I have to learn to perfect my communication skills. It is basic knowledge that one has to know how to communicate effectively to be a good negotiator. Listening to others is another important aspect that I have added as part of my negotiation skills. By listening, one has to be empathic. Regardless of how much one should avoid emotions, at times it is of help to be empathic with the other person’s situation. I have also learnt that when talking to a person, one should not only pay attention to the words but to the voice and the body language. Having concentrated mostly on words previously, I am certain that people must have taken advantage of my naivety while negotiating.
On top of all this, I have also realized that although a win - win situation is the best deal to put on the table when negotiating. I have also learnt that non-verbal communication is the main aspect of negotiation. So special attention has to be paid to how one communicates nonverbally when negotiating. Always strive to get the best possible deal and do not leave the negotiating table with a feeling that you have not achieved what you aspired. Always know where the power in the negotiation lies and circumnavigate it till you achieve what you went there to achieve. In cases where there is a language barrier, ensure to use a negotiator who also understands negotiation skills.
What are your two greatest strengths as a negotiator? How did these strengths help you in negotiations you conducted this semester? Under which situations do you feel most competent as a bargainer?
After learning and practicing my negotiation skills, I came to realize that one of my strengths was listening. I found myself asking questions as a way of testing my understanding. Asking questions also helped me get more information on what the negotiator wanted. I learnt that instead of trying to have a clever conversation or argument asking questions would save me all that trouble. Through listening and asking questions, the other people feel appreciated and heard.
The class has helped me understand that a good and a gifted negotiator start from an exaggerated position that, after the negotiation, it yields desirable results. However, one has to take care and ensure that the exaggeration is not too much. This helps in maintaining the status and ensuring one does not seem illegitimate. When asked a question as a means of communication, ensure that the answer you give has value. Another strong aspect is been cooperative. By being cooperative, one can win the trust and seal a deal. Although the world we live in is competitive, cooperative negotiation is more successful. However, by being able to adjust from soft to hard is an added advantage. Been a social person, I am able to talk and get crucial information during my negotiation. I count that as my strength as a simple detail might be essential to me as negotiator.
For example, in school being late for an exam session can be disastrous. The professor can opt not to allow you to take the class. One has to come up with good reasons to explain the lateness. You have to show the professor that you can be cooperative and even promise never to repeat such a mistake again. Always consider the feedback you offer in such a situation and how it will give you the desired results.
Do others regard you as a “good bargainer”? Are you viewed as one who gives in too easily, holds out too long, or knows when to make tradeoffs? How do you see yourself in regard to being a “good bargainer”?
Although I regard myself as a good bargainer, some of my friends do not. They tell me that I tend to give in so easily, which is not a good trait. However, some of my friends are poor bargainers than I am, and they do appreciate the skills that I have. As stated earlier, I can confirm that I am a good bargainer. I am also flexible for various offers lay on the table. Been rigid affects negotiations making the person you are negotiating with feel as if it is a waste of time dealing with you. Always be flexible but ensure that you achieve the goals intended. In bargaining, I believe that achieving one's set goal can be considered as successful bargaining. Therefore, mostly I achieve the expected outcome from the bargains I make. However, in cases where I have not carried out enough research I tend to think that the opponent gets the better out of me. I have the self-confidence, which is a key tool in bargaining.
Poor bargainers are at most shy and are afraid to state what they lack the self-confidence to bargain for favorable values. However, make sure not to frustrate the seller by stating very low prices. This is often a poor start in bargaining as the seller disregards you as a serious buyer. Being a social person, I have one of the most important characteristics of been an effective bargainer. I understand that, been able to relate with other people smoothly is an added advantage when engaging in bargaining.
Often at times, to prove that I am a good bargainer, I pull them into my negotiations. I have learnt that involving others when bargaining is a good tool to get a good deal out of the exchange. Since they regard themselves higher, they will try to prove a point, and I mostly end up getting a better deal. This has always been helpful to me during my negotiations. I have also come to learn from the better negotiators in the game.
What one or two areas for improvement do you see that remain(s)? In what situations do you feel least competent as a bargainer? What obstacles will you encounter in making improvements?
Although the course has helped me improve my bargaining prowess, I have not yet fully reached the level I would want. One of the areas I need to improve on is controlling my emotions. Controlling my emotions has always been a tricky part in my life. Been an emotional person, I tend to reason and argue and get emotional while doing it. It has been a difficult obstacle to overcome although I am putting concerted efforts into it. The only obstacle I face is how to shut the emotional part. Been emotional has been one of my traits since childhood and instantly turning it off would always be a challenge.
When bargaining, I feel it is necessary to have all the information I need prior to the negotiation. This arms me and adds the self-confidence I need for a bargain. Failure to acquire such information makes anybody susceptible to manipulation. Preparation is a rigorous exercise that I ought to perfect for me to be an excellent bargainer. I should be aware of the effect of any option that will be proposed in terms of time, scope and quality.
Since there exists different bargaining/negotiating styles, I find it hard to apply them in all situations. In situations where I need to apply integrative and distributive negotiations, I tend to choose one instead of applying both to my advantage. I find it hard to fight the thought that competitive bargaining is superior for collaborative bargaining. I also need to be assertive in such a way I do not fear to communicate my feelings. This is an issue of self confidence that I find difficult at times. Sometimes it works out right when I am full of confidence but it is not always the same. I need to be full of confidence always for me to be assertive enough. By been nonassertive people can consider my communication skills poor while by been assertive one is neither passive nor aggressive.
