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Cross-cultural Communication
In the book's Preface, Tannen states: "all communication is more or less cross-cultural." (Tannen) What does she mean by this statement?
This point has to be made because challenges arise in communication when there is more than one culture involved. In the communication process, culture differences are an issue during encoding and decoding. The challenge for the sender is to develop a message in forms that can be decoded successfully by the receiver without losing or misunderstanding the content and meaning of the message.
The forms of communication like language and non-verbal communication are the tools used to create the message from the ideas of the sender but these forms were all developed within the context of the particular culture. How people want to convey their ideas is embodied in the words they invented which make their language. How these words are combined and delivered is influenced by the people’s values and attitudes. Encoding/decoding or translation into a common form is never perfect in cross-cultural communications. There are just too many nuances and subtleties in the language and communication styles of a people that will create defects in the process.
Why is it important to approach communication among people as an exercise in understanding possible cross-cultural differences among them?
With the major factor of culture always affecting inter-cultural communications, people always have to be cautious and unassuming when communicating with other peoples. It is only by understanding how the message was encoded and decoded by translation and discovering reactions to the written, spoken and non-verbal forms used that both parties can have confidence that the communication was successful. By taking a prudent approach, we can lower the risk of mistakes in communication whose negative effects can be from fleeting annoyance to lasting business damages.
Learning about intercultural communication goes both ways: we can learn about a culture for the purpose of communicating or by communicating and encountering challenges, we can discover cultural nuances which may not even be well known. The conscious practice of feedback, learning and refinement will produce a productive spiral that will improve the communication channel between two parties. One should look at every occasion of cross-cultural communications as a learning opportunity which would go through iterations before perfect understanding is achieved.
During drinking bouts, the Japanese have a custom of pouring on the glass of his companion. This can happen any time prior to a perfectly ongoing session. The Americans don’t have this practice and having an individualistic culture, the instinctive interpretation is that he is a weak drinker who can’t pace. So even if the Japanese is saying that he is enjoying his company, the American will feel slighted. Unfortunately, it is the other way around wherein the Japanese is showing his utmost appreciation of your company. If you have kept your slighted feelings to yourself you would have spoiled an otherwise great evening which could lead to a good business relationship. But if you were communications savvy, you would take the gesture as an interesting point and would ask up front the meaning of it.
Metamessages
Tannen argues that when looking at communication between people, it is important to distinguish between information content and metamessages. Define what each of these constructs means.
Information content is what you can see understand plainly at face value. It has no connotations and underlying meanings. It is objective and explicit much like what you would get when you are looking up the meaning of a word in the dictionary. It is information per se as how data and information are treated in science. Written, spoken and non-verbal messages are consistent with each other.
Metamessages are messages that have meanings that are veiled in often contrasting forms. There may be a purpose to the disguise or it may also be unconscious based on the assumptions in the relationship. They subscribe to the saying “Actions speak louder than words.” The effect is all the more apparent if sarcasm is used as the form to deliver the message. It is much more complicated than information content as other elements have to be read as well like the choice of time and place, occasion, presence of other people, etc.
How do they work together to convey what people communicate to each other?
They combine to form the correct and intended message. They often are conflicting but the message should determine the real message with the information content being more as information reference. The information content is presented as the message to be interpreted in the light of the metamessage. The metamessage would be the horse that would drive the carriage of information content.
If they are misaligned, how can they contribute to misunderstandings between people?
Misalignment would lead to the incorrect interpretation of the message which would lead to the conclusion that the real intended message was rejected. The rejection is of course unintended based on a mistake but this would already cause the misunderstanding. Misalignment can also be caused by an incomplete presentation of the message. A sarcastic message would not appear so if only in written form. It may even not be enough if only in audible form. It would only have a good chance if delivered in person or in video.
Provide two examples of how a person who focuses solely on conveying information content to others, and does not understand the workings of metamessages, can miscommunicate his/her intended message.
Sam was suffering from work overload and overly long hours. For several weeks already, the boss was preoccupied with a serious customer problem and hasn’t been checking on his staff lately. Finally, the boss was able to find the time so he asked each of his staff how they are doing with their work. Sam answered with a straight face without a tinge of frustration because he trusted his boss will figure out his situation if he just tells the facts. So when asked, he said, “There’s a lot of work. I had to stay 3 hours extra almost every day.” The boss replied, “Oh, I didn’t notice. Do you want me to shift some to Joe?” Sam replied, “That’s up to you. You’re the boss.” The boss took it that Sam doesn’t mind and must be happy with much overtime pay and Sam was disappointed.
The teacher presents lessons in a class in complete detail but in a dry dreary style. The students feel that they just have to remember enough to pass this course. They think that the teacher doesn’t consider this subject important enough to be reflected on deeply and made applicable to life.
Indirect Messages
Tannen points out that a common communication strategy is to convey intended messages indirectly. What points does did she make about this?
Indirect communications serve the purpose of keeping the communication channel open and the noise level down by preventing negative emotional responses from surfacing. It is a technique to keep the social environment non-confrontational and pleasant. A common theme is self-defense which is about maintaining deniability in situations, “I didn’t really say that. That’s just what you think. ..”. Another theme is rapport wherein the common understanding of the message is achieved in spite of indirectness and forms a bond between the parties. Best friend says, “No worries. I’ll still make it but it will really be tough”. Best friend replies, “Hey, I’ve got all the time. I’ll give you a hand and you can’t say no, buddy.”
Indirect or direct communication can also be identified with cultures. For one, Americans are generally known to be direct and the Japanese are mostly indirect. Whether indirectness is positive or negative will depend on the culture as well. Most Americans would view indirectness as “dishonesty” while the Japanese may look at directness as “rudeness” or “insensitivity”. Indirectness achieves its finest art form in diplomacy between countries wherein the avoidance of offensive messages is a strict guideline.
Why do people convey messages indirectly?
People practice it to avoid offending or making the other party feel bad about one’s self. In many instances, it is to save the other person’s face from being perceived as ignorant or weak. Nobody feels good after receiving a direct “no”, an upfront rejection but would even feel good if it would appear that he was the one who walked away. In a redundancy situation, a manager may say, “The company has changed in such a way that it no longer offers the best career opportunities for your skills. Another company might serve your interests better.” The employee can resign and bring that story line with him.
People also do it to achieve results for themselves. Instead of asking directly, they drop hints at people who are motivated to be altruistic, like family and friends. They see it as a win-win proposition where they believe they make the giver feel good by making them assume that the good idea was theirs.
What are its advantages?
Indirect communications avoids the stresses that are caused by conflict and friction between people. It is like a check valve that closes when stress is about to flow in. The structure of the messages lends to some vagueness that allows deniability of an undesirable conclusion that can affect a relationship. It allows people to feel psychologically safe in their relationships.
What are its disadvantages?
Many people who are direct by nature see indirectness as being sly and dishonest and have the effect of eroding the solidarity between people. For direct people, it naturally begs the question of why is it necessary if the relationship is believed to be resilient enough to withstand direct unpleasant messages. It can also feel like an indirect message that the other is not strong enough to handle such. Setting up oneself to safely deny intentions can appear to be as irresponsibility and unaccountability to one’s actions. This negative consequence is the common situation when direct and indirect people are interacting.
Sam and Joe are close colleagues and are in a tiff. “Why didn’t I ever hear you say that people think I’m difficult and quarrelsome? That’s what the boss told me in my performance review. I could have done something about it.” Joe replied, “I’ve been telling you that every time you complain to me. I’ve always told you to keep your cool and all things will get eventually get ironed out at the end.” Sam fired back, “But you never said people were already complaining!” Joe answered, “I have advised you on that countless times. I figured that should have crossed your mind already.”
Works Cited
Tannen, Deborah. That's Not What I Meant. New Yor: Ballantine Books, 1992. Print.
