Divorce is defined as the legal termination of a marriage (U.S. National Library of Medicine). According to the United Nations’ Department of Economic and Social Affairs (2008), the World Marriage Data showcases an increase in the annual number of divorces. Indicatively, Australia, the United States and the United Kingdom are some of the global countries with the highest divorce rates, with 2.5, 3.7 and 2.4 divorces per thousand marriages respectively (United Nations). Also, marriage and divorce statistics released from the European Commission (2012), there has been a reduction of marriages in the European Union countries, by about 36 percent, from approximately 8 marriages per 1,000 inhabitants in 1970 to about 4.4 per 1,000 inhabitants in 2010. At the same time, data analysis of numbers indicates that marriages are more unstable, since divorces doubled ever since 1970 (European Commission). If we take into account that it was not until recently that national laws permitted divorce in many countries, like Ireland and Italy, among others (European Commission), one can imagine that divorce numbers have a rising tendency with the passage of time.
Demographics show that the risk of divorce usually declines with age (Brown, Sin & Payne 2012). Although divorce rate has dropped among people ages from 15 to 24, by 33 percent, the equivalent percentage for adults over age 35 has dramatically increased, with a peak in older ages, where the risk of divorce has doubled among ages 55-64 and actually tripled in even older age groups (Brown, Sin & Payne 2012)
Undoubtedly, divorce is a stressful period in one’s life that not only affects the finances of a family, but also the emotional state of all involved. In case there are children, parental styles usually change and children are called to cope with new living conditions and family structure. This research paper will focus on the reasons that lead to divorce and the effects of divorce on children. Of course, not all marriages need to be saved and kept, especially when there is abuse of any kind in a marriage. However, living in a healthy society is the center of one’s well-being and given that the family is the core societal structure, it is evident why families should stick together. Finally, there will be substantial suggested ways to prevent divorce, when humanly possible.
Why do married couples divorce?
In most Western societies, almost everybody gets married by the age of 50 (American Psychological Association). It is widely accepted that a healthy marriage contributes to the couples’ health, both mental and physical; in case there are children in a marriage, then a healthy marriage affects them too, on all levels too (American Psychological Association). So, why do almost half the married couples end up with a divorce at hand? If we take into consideration the even more increasing divorce rates in subsequent marriages (American Psychological Association), it becomes obvious that there is something wrong in the kingdom of family well-being.
Do happy marriages exist? According to Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blkeslee (1995), authors of the book The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts, a happy marriage could as well be “the dark side of the moon” (3). Overwhelming problems that have emerged in modern societies like the global financial crisis that forces people live with less income than before, cohabitation and early-age marriages usually contribute to the increasing and worrying trend of modern society divorce (Doherty William 41, as cited in Hawkins & Fackrell 2009). It seems that modern societies have cultivated a sense of insecurity to individuals that result to lack of commitment and consequently to a breaking of a marriage (Doherty William 41, as cited in Hawkins & Fackrell 2009). Also, abuse is another significant factor that plays a crucial role in modern society divorces. When it comes to financial worries, research indicates that couples divorce more at times of economic recession (The Guardian).
Effects of Divorce on Children
Divorce has a negative impact on children, in most cases. Studies have proven that there is higher likeliness for a child coming from a divorced family to have mental problems and poorer mental health overall, as opposed to children that live in a harmonious family environment with both parents (Lucas, Nicholson and Erbas 53-54).
Children’s psychological and social life is, in most cases, traumatized, and children whose parents are divorcing of have already divorced are usually distinguished by anti-social behaviors and even delinquency, and of course, academic failure and low self-reliance (Sahram, Ali & Goobad 4640). In poor families and countries, men and women use children from divorced families in illegal activities, like drug distribution (Sahram, Ali & Goobad 4640). Finally, there are also parents that fall apart and divorce and show a rather aggressive face to their off springs, forcing them to stray away from their homes (Sahram, Ali & Goobad 4640).
Parents that fail to properly adjust to the new family structure and promote their children’s well-being too, often drive their children to close up inside and isolate. With all the aforementioned negative consequences of divorce on children, it is natural that children have reduced desire to marry when they grow up and lose their confidence in life; in fact, there are also cases when a divorce negatively affects a child’s sexual orientation (Sahram, Ali & Goobad 4640.
How to Prevent Divorce
Howard Markman, and John Gottman (2004), both PhD psychologists have found that marital stress and divorce mainly occurs due to low quality of interaction between spouses (Marital Education Programs). Findings of their studies have shown that couples whose communication and interaction was rather low and negative respectively, were experiencing troubled marriages that created fertile land for marital distress and divorce (Marital Education Programs).
Consequently, if couples focused on improving their interaction and forwarded a more positive ones, they would most likely have made a first important step towards divorce prevention.
However, preventing is not a matter of individual attempts. States and governments should also implement viable solutions to promote marriage in any way. Facts and numbers show that in poor areas, about 75 percent of families with children are single-parent headed, as in 1996 (Fagan). Religion strengthens marriages and it is proven that churches do a fine work giving people reason to stay in a marriage and fight for it (Fagan), which is why officials need to encourage the work of churches worldwide. Of course, providing societies with more marriage-friendly tax policies and relative measures, governments can certainly give a great helping hand to keep marriages going.
Conclusion
Married couples getting a divorce at some time of their marital life is a worrying and increasing trend of modern societies. Although divorce rates in younger ages, up to age 35, are reduced, the equivalent divorce rates in older ages, especially over 65, have doubled and tripled from 1970 and onwards, which showcases the seriousness of this phenomenon. If one counts the number of countries that had prohibited divorce until recently, it become obvious that divorce rates will skyrocket in the following years.
A divorce is never easy and cause great distress in the family structure and everyone involved, especially children. If they fail to adjust to the new family structure and way of living, a child runs a serious risk of falling behind at school, become anti-social and develop delinquency. Moreover, children that come from divorced families might also have poorer mental health compared to children living in families with both parents. Studies have also shown that a child’s sexual orientation could be twisted as a result from a problematic divorce. It all depends on how quickly the parent bundles up and adjusts to the new life, in order to develop the most effective parenting style that will promote the child’s well-being, both mentally and physically.
No matter how careful one is when divorcing, it takes a lot of strength and courage to stand up to the deriving challenges and manage to balance their own emotional storm and ensure a peaceful family environment for their off springs. So, it might be best to act preventively, rather than try to find solutions to a problem. Striking the problem in its root is always best, so it is suggested that churches help people find balance and motive within their marriages, so they stay in them and live happily. Also, governments can implement policies that favor the married and provide the means for a better married life.
Works Cited:
American Psychological Association (2004). “Marital Education Programs Help Keep Couples Together”. Web. Oct. 9, 2013. < http://www.apa.org/research/action/marital.aspx>
American Psychological Association (n.d). “Marriage and divorce”. Web. Oct. 9, 2013 <http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/>
Brown, S. L., Lin, I.-F., & Payne, K. K. (2012). Age Variation in the Divorce Rate, 1990-2010 (FP-12-05). National Center for Family & Marriage Research. Web. Oct. 9, 2013 <http://ncfmr.bgsu.edu/pdf/family_profiles/file108695.pdf >
Dohert, William. “How common is divorce and what are the reasons?” as cited in Hawkins, Alan & Fackrell, Tamara (2012). “Should I keep Trying to Work it Out?”. Print. <http://divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/ShouldIKeepTryingtoWorkItOut.pdf>
European Commission (2012). “Marriage and divorce statistics”. Last modified: 3 June 2013. Web. Oct. 9, 2013.
Fagan, Patrick (2001). “Encouraging Marriage and Discouraging Divorce”. The Heritage Foundation. Web. Oct. 9, 2013. <http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2001/03/encouraging-marriage-and-discouraging-divorce#ftnt64>
Lucas, Nina, Nicholson, Jan M, Erbas, Bircan. “Child mental health after parental separation: The impact of resident/non-resident parenting, parent mental health, conflict and socioeconomics”. Print. Journal of Family Studies. Print. Apr2013, Vol. 19 Issue 1, p53-69. 17p.
Sahram, abdol rahim, Ali, reza shakarbigi & Goobad, naderi (2012). “Phenomena Effects of Divorce on Families and Society”. Journal of Basic and Applied Scientific Research, (5) 4639-4647, 2012. Print. TextRoad Publication
The Guardian (2012). “Divorce rates data, 1858 to now: how has it changed?” Web. Oct. 9, 2013 < http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2010/jan/28/divorce-rates-marriage-ons>
United Nations, Department of Economic and Social Affairs, Population Division (2009). “World Marriage Data 2008 (POP/DB/Marr/Rev2008)”. Web. Oct. 9, 2013.
U.S. National Library of Medicine (n.d). “Divorce”. Medline Plus. Last updated: 5 July 2013. Web. Oct. 9, 2013.
Wallerstein, Judith and Blkeslee, Sandra (1995). “The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts”. Warner Books Edition. ISBN 0-446-67248-3
