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And they lived happily ever after. Several fairy tales that we row up with end up this way. The prince and the princess fall in love with each other as soon as their eyes meet, and soon enough, they find themselves vowing to be together for the rest of their lives. From fairy tales, novels, and movies, we have been exposed to the concept of being attracted and falling in love, and these ideas are almost always believed to be matters of the heart. Often, we think that fate calls our heart and guides as to find our one true love, but when we get hurt in the process, we also blame our heart for making the wrong decision. Now, allow me to burst the bubble that covers this famous myth – being attracted or being in love has nothing to do with the heart. So please, leave the poor heart alone because it is all in our brains! You heard it right. Attraction is all in the brain, and understanding how the process works can help save someone from suffering the so-called “broken heart.”
When we are in love, we always think of that specific person that takes our breath away and makes our heart beat faster. This phase is actually called attraction, and if cupid truly exists, it’s definitely not the heart that he hits with his arrow – it’s the human brain. Before we actually feel giddy about someone, our brain helps us determine who this “special someone” is. For example, high school sweethearts are formed because these teenagers see each other on a regular basis. This is the concept of proximity which explains the “mere exposure effect” or people’s tendency to like someone they often see. Aside from proximity, we also get attracted through similarity (people who share some similarities get attracted to each other) and reciprocity (someone likes the other who likes him/her back). After choosing an apple of the eye, researchers discovered that the brain triggers chemicals reactions that make us feel what we feel when we are love-struck. When we see our “special someone,” our hearts literally beat faster, and we experience sweating and butterflies in our stomach because our brain releases adrenaline (Fisher, Aron, and Brown, 59). Through functional magnetic resonance (fMRI), researchers also found out that dopamine are released during attraction phase. This neurotransmitter is responsible for the feeling of pleasure – one that gives us a “happy heart (Fisher, Aron, and Brown, 58). The neurotransmitter serotonin, on the other hand, lowers down during attraction phase. People who have obsessive-compulsive disorder have this same characteristic, which is why people in love tend to be obsessed with each other (Loyola University). Therefore, when we say that love is blind, it’s actually our brains not being able to think rationally because of the activities of our hormones and neurotransmitters.
Now, it’s time to get things straight. Our heart doesn’t have anything to do with attraction and falling in love, so stop putting the blame on this innocent organ. We choose a partner and get attracted and fall madly in love because of the brain. During this sweet and exciting phase, our brain is so occupied with that “special someone” that we can’t actually use it to think from a rational and objective perspective. This is why sometimes, we choose the wrong person. This why sometimes, we get our “hearts” broken. However, if it’s a matter of the brain, how can we avoid the mistakes that are associated with a “blind love”? Perhaps it’s better to wait for the excitement of attraction to pass before making drastic decisions. Waiting to “fall out of love” is probably the one that will lead us to make correct decisions that will lead us to a happy ever after.
Works Cited
Fisher, Helen, Arthur Aron, and Lucy Brown. “Romantic Love: An fMRI Study of a Neural Mechanism for Mate Choice.” The Journal of Comparative Neurology 493 (2005): 58-62. Print.
Loyola University Health System. “What Falling in Love Does to Your Heart and Brain.” Science Daily. Science Daily, 6 Feb. 2014. Web. 15 Feb. 2016.
“The Science of Love.” BBC. BBC, 17 Sept. 2014. Web. 15 Feb. 2016.
