Evaluation of the Sample Paper
The sample essay has both points of strengths and weaknesses. The first commendable thing about the essay is the grammar and sentence structure. Despite a few grammatical and syntax errors, overall the paper is quite good
One of the most important parts of any argumentative essay r is the thesis statement . This is an aspect that the author has captured quite brilliantly. The thesis statement is usually written as the last sentence of the introduction part of any essay. The writer of this sample essay has done just that. By clearly outlining the thesis statement, the author has set the pace and foundation in which the entire essay is based.
Another thing that the author of the essay has done quite well on the explanation of topic sentences. Each of the paragraphs of the essay is preceded by topic sentences. This sentence acts as the premise of the entire paragraph in which the author justifies the claim made in the topic sentence which itself is a justification of the overall thesis if the essay.
There are however some weak points of the essay whereby the author has not done particularly well. First, there appears to be much irrelevant information that is somehow unrelated to the topic in some of the paragraphs. For instance, the author has spent much time discussing the history of Haitian revolutionary, Toussaint Louverture, without telling much about this contribution to the overall Haitian revolution. In addition, some of the topic sentences do not in any way support the author’s idea that the French revolution was more consequential to the formation of democracy than the Haitian Revolution. A writer should try sticking as much as possible to related content and avoid the use of any irrelevant content.
Element 2
Element 3
This should have received a grade B. This means that the paper was quite satisfactory but has great room for improvement. One of the improvements that could have been as shown regards the use of sources. In addition, the awarding of this grade is also justified by the language used. Although the grammar is quite commendable, the author has primarily used basic language, and there is limited use of scholarly terms. Another aspect of the paper that justifies the awarding of this grade is the overall sentence and idea flow that is done quite well. The topic is very wide, and the author should have used more resources support his essay. However, the grade B is appropriate because the author comprehensively used the sources that he cited, that is, the sources used were all relevant to the topic
Works Cited
“The End of the Use of African Slave Labour in Plantation Agriculture in the Americas”
Carpentier, Alejo. The Kingdom of This World. New York: Knopf, 1957. Print.
“Macandal and Vodou: The Centrality of Vodou to the Haitian Revolution”
“An Introduction to Haitian Vodou”
“Jean-Jacques Rousseau on Enlightenment”
“The Atlantic World of the 18th Century: The Slave Trade””
“A Philosophical and Political History of the Settlements and Trade of the Europeans in the East and West Indies”
“Olympe de Gouges The Declaration of the Rights of Women September 1791”
“Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen Adopted by the French National Assembly August 20-26th, 1789”
“Women and the French Revolution: Paradoxes and Contradictions”
