What is a Friend? A Friend is a person who is willing to take you the way you are (Ashton). The word ‘friend’ traces back to England in the early 12th century and continues to be utilized throughout the world today. Though, it was originated from German where it is called as “Freund.” Having too many friends can be stressful and dramatic at times, but they can also help resolve personal issues, assist in loneliness, and help you in your overall emotional and physical well-being.
Friends are those people in your life that you can rely on when a need arises, and not having someone in times of need can be utterly upsetting. Choosing wrong friends may cause more stress and drama than you want to deal with. However, when choosing your friend, be selective and make sure they come with the positive qualities and characteristics a good friend should have. One of the qualities that you may seek in a good friend is empathy, whether they want to be there for you when you need them and if they are willing to help you in times when you emotionally need the support during hard times. The fact is life can be tough and having a friend there to help you through the hard times can be a definite plus. The stress of work, family and everyday life can take a toll on a person and make them feel that they need an outlet to release pressure or escape reality. A friend will be there to help you through those hard times, to talk with you, and to help resolve those personal issues in your life without judging you in your hour of need.
At times, you will need to count on your friend at the last minute, and if they are your good friend and carry the specific qualities a friend should have, they should be there for you anytime, anywhere. If you need someone to talk to, or just to vent, a friend is a perfect candidate. You will most likely rely on them more because they are a person you really trust and respect. In addition, you will listen to their advice because they have your best interest in mind and only what is right for you.
One of the many benefits of having a friend in your life is the moral support you receive, and to hear your friend’s opinion from their perspective can give you a much different outlook on the situation. There may be those times in your life where things are not going as planned and the world seems like it’s upside down and you have nowhere to turn. In some cases, you may even lose your job, go through a divorce, or even lose a loved one. At these crucial points in your life, you will need the support of a friend to help you get through because having a friend there to talk to or to have a shoulder to cry on will make a big difference and make the situation a little more tolerable. Overall receiving the advice and support from your friend will provide you the strength you need to move forward and to get through this hard time.
For example, I know what it is like to need a friend during an extremely personal issue in my life. Recently I had lost my dear brother to cancer and thought the world had ended. The feelings and emotions rushing through my body were so overwhelming I couldn’t cope. I needed to get away to establish my thoughts and recollect my feelings. I was losing all sense of reality and could not function normally. I felt like I was on the verge of nervous breakdown or borderline depression. I needed someone strong to be there and pull me out of this dark place I was headed. I needed someone to remind me that am still alive, to focus on the positive, and to be robust enough to keep me in check. I called my friend Julie for help and asked her to come over and stay with me for a few days. Knowing the whole time the pain I was going through; she did what she could do to be supportive of making me feel better. She helped with the decision making for the funeral arrangements and execution of the will, which I would not have been able to make on my own. Since my brother was the first of nine siblings to pass away very suddenly, it was a shock to the whole family, so neither myself nor my family was in the position to take on the responsibility of the arrangements. Julie made sure everything was handled and ran smoothly through each process so my family and I could focus on other things. It was hard enough to deal with the pain and sorrow I had with the loss of my brother, but my friend Julie was there to help me through it all. She made the world a much easier place to deal with. In addition, she helped me with my confidence so I can make better choices to resolve those personal issues more efficiently going forward.
Another great thing about a friend is they are there when you really feel alone. Your friend or social contact will prevent loneliness from happening in your life. If you do not have friends in your life, the lack of relationships can make you sad, empty, and you become isolated and alone (Smith, Lawrence, Segal, Boose). In time, these feelings can tear away at your emotional psyche day by day. You definitely do not want to go down this road. For instance, do you remember those days on a Friday night, nothing to do and no one to call? The sick feeling you get in your gut and the emptiness in your heart? You look around in your empty, dark room for something to do and someone to talk to as the tears continue to stream down your face. Remember these times? I do, these are the times endured before a friendship has blossomed. Having a friend can keep you from this dreary place of loneliness. They are there to be supportive, talk with you when you need someone and pull you out of the house by your heels in order to get you to go have a great time. Your friend can help ward off depression by being there for you, so you do not get lonely. Whether it’s a phone call, a game of cards, or a night on the town, your friend will pull through to make sure their BFF (Best Friend Forever) is in a better state of mind.
This is one of many benefits that a friend can bring and the fact is that having a friend can really help you through the hard times. So it is crucial to know the types of friends out there and pick and choose carefully. This is someone you want to keep for life so be selective and make sure you choose the friend you want to keep around and continue to build on the relationship. In the long run, as you support each other, and are loyal, honest, and respect each other, your relationship will ultimately blossom into a friendship that is long-term.
In fact, your friend can add so many benefits to your life including improving your health emotionally and physically. The effects of not having friends and not participating in society can take a serious toll on your health, eroding your arteries, creating high blood pressure, and even learning or memory issues. Studies show that friends may also help you live a longer more prosperous life (Valeo).
Having a successful friendship has been proven to increase your health benefits significantly according to an Australian study at Flinders University. The study found that those who had a lot of friends outlived those with the fewest friends by 22% (Giles). The truth is benefits of having long term friends in your life can be very rewarding and help with warding off depression and keeping you out of that funk, or simply just encouraging you not to do things in your life that are bad for you. They can also assist with providing the happiness in your life by making you laugh on a daily basis. What happens if you have a bad day? Who can you really count on for support?
It is time to pick up the phone and call your friend because they are the person that will listen and laugh with you when you need it the most. Furthermore, they can aid in boosting self-esteem, provide moral support, and make you a healthier and happier person in your life. If you don’t have enough friends, and you are in dire need of distracting yourself from an emotional trauma or something; the easiest way is to volunteer at a place that takes people of your age. Volunteering is an excellent way to make new people who likely share similar values as you do. Or you could take some classes or join a gym where you will probably have a good time-sharing the energy with other people. But to have a healthy relationship with your friends, it’s important not to let the fear of rejection spoil your relation with them. Making friends mean to put out yourself out there and be whom you are without being judged and you can easily test those who call them your friends if they judge you for being real. There are some people who are more attached to their friends than their families, these people are at most risk because when they are betrayed by their friends they really feel lost and can go into serious depression. It's essential to have a balance in your social and personal life, being in contact with people constantly can also be exhausting, and your frustrations could annoy those who are living with you. In order to find a better friend you need to act as a better friend too; we should treat our friends the way we would like to be treated. If you expect your friend to be there for you whenever you want to, make sure you are doing the same for them before questioning them in your mind.
With time and age, you will find yourself drifting away from your friends but unlike the voluntary bonds that we have with our family or significant others, you don’t really need to check up on them every day. Even if you call your friends after months, you will feel that the bond is still as strong as it was before. However, it's true that some friendships change as you grow old but the basics of this particular bond remain the same, all you need is someone to rely on, someone to talk to and someone to have fun with in your life. (Beck) Though, it’s a fact that your priorities change with time.
When you were a freshman in college all you needed in life was to have fun with your peers, explore the places with the most important people in your life, enjoy the experiences life brought with the people that make them most enjoyable. Family, kind of, comes secondary when you are young. Because you are independent, and the experiences are more valuable in that phase of life. But, when you grow up and start working or get married, the family becomes the priority. The same friend that came to crash at your place every weekend, now calls you to free up the schedule for once in a month drinks-get-together.
The whole phenomenon of the friendship is complex yet meaningful to everyone. When you are kids, friends are people that you play with daily on the street or go to parks with on weekends, but when you become an adult, the number of friends decreases but the quality of them increases. You no longer hang out with someone, who is only there when you want to have fun. Rather, you befriend someone who share your values and who is there to help out emotionally and guide you in the decisions that you are scared to make alone. The number of Fair-weathered friends also decreases; fair weathered friends are those who are only with you when you things are pleasant but as soon trouble hits you they run off.
Yes it’s true, friends can be stressful and dramatic at times, but they really know how to help resolve personal issues, assist in loneliness and can be an overall benefit to your emotional and physical health as well (Valeo). Because of the moral support, companionship, and happiness they provide in your life, it will give you the confidence and strength to go on knowing you have that backup when you need it. Don’t miss out, take advantage of the joy a friendship can bring, and like me, you will know the positive impact a friend can bring to you and to your life.
Works Cited
Ashton, Marvin. "What Is A Friend? - Marvin J. Ashton". Lds.org. N.p., 2016. Web. 29 Apr. 2016.
Giles, L. C. "Effect Of Social Networks On 10 Year Survival In Very Old Australians: The Australian Longitudinal Study Of Aging". Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health 59.7 (2005): 574-579. Web. 29 Apr. 2016.
Valeo, Tom. "Good Friends Are Good For You." WebMD. N.p., 2016. Web. 29 Apr. 2016.
Beck, Julie. "How Friendships Change When You Become An Adult." The Atlantic. N.p., 2015. Web. 29 Apr. 2016.
Robinson, Lawrence, Greg Boose, Melinda Smith, M.A, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. "How to Make Good Friends." How to Make Good Friends: Tips for Meeting People and Making New Friends."Helpguide.org. N.p.,2016. Web. 29 Apr. 2016.
