“REAL men don't just not eat quiche quiche n.A rich unsweetened custard pie, often containing ingredients such as vegetables, cheese, or seafood.
[French, from German dialectal Küche, diminutive of German Kuchen, cake they also don't send birthday cards, they believe women should not get drunk and they want to win at all costs. They are never sad and never, ever, cry.” (Dobson) For generations, dating, perhaps, back to the cave men it has been a widely held belief that men must be macho, that this is what separates them from women. In this train of thought it has also been held as true that the biggest signs of weakness these men could show are to apologize and to cry. Even in the movies you can hear the age old saying, don’t apologize, it’s a sign of weakness. However, there is a new generation rising up that doesn’t fear questioning all long held beliefs and these people are bringing a new light to things. One of the things they are radically changing is society’s view on crying. It seems that not only is it okay for men to cry, but it is healthy too.
One reason society knows that is acceptable for men to cry is the gradual progression they have made in this area. While men have avoided tearing up in the past, there were some places men could be seen tearing up in the past few generations: sports. “Modern men in the city are no strangers to showing their emotions, with eight out of 10 admitting to having shed a tear in public. But older generations still believe the "real men don't cry” myth-unless football is involved.” (Lloyd) Even though these men felt that crying was a no go zone, there was an exception to the rule. This opening in socially acceptable thinking allowed a springboard for the current generation to seek out in what other areas emotion might be tolerable. Now men feel comfortable crying in many circumstances.
Since men have been exploring the possibility of allowing themselves to be more vulnerable the male population has also become more individualized. Where before all men seemed to be cut from the same cloth, society can now see what is really important to each individual. There are some men who are broken by the thought of the sacrifice military and other civil service members make for them. Others may only shed tears at the thought of loosing a spouse or watching a heart wrenching film about a father-child relationship that relates to their own. Others may cry at the drop of a hat because they are comfortable with it. By allowing themselves to cry they have become, in a sense, more human. This makes them easier to relate to, which is also invaluable.
There have also been studies that have shown crying is good for the health of men. “Frey, who has studied crying since 1979 and wrote a book on the topic in 1985, thinks shedding tears may be the body's mechanism for flushing out some of the harmful chemicals produced during periods of stress, thereby breaking the chain of events that leads to heart disease and brain damage.” (Majeski Knight-Ridder) While women play an important role in society, it cannot be denied that men carry much more stress overall in the workplace. The testosterone they carry also adds to their stress by encouraging aggression that they then bottle up. Crying, at individually appropriate times, can help them release all of this stress and emotion, because after all, they are human too. Crying, to these men can act a salve to their spirits. It is also a natural response of the body that causes even more stress to repress than to surrender to.
Sure, some say that crying makes a man a wimp, that it shows weakness. This has happened in many countries, such as Spain. "Where are there men in Spain?" he queries angrily. "What I see are effeminate ef·fem·i·nate adj.1. Having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men. See Synonyms at female.2. Characterized by weakness and excessive refinement. Click the link for more information. men I see men converted into women." (Lehfeldt) Progression in self exploration in the field of emotion has been looked down upon in many places as the thought is that it makes the male population weak. However, despite the negative response and scornful attitudes of many, these men have decided for themselves that crying is, after all okay. This alone takes strength, to stand in the face of adversity. It takes strength to open up and become vulnerable to others, the easier course would be to shut one’s self off. It takes strength to allow themselves not to be the rock in every circumstances. It even takes strength to change enough to allow all of this.
So, is it okay for men to cry? While the older generations may claim that it’s not and that it is a sign of weakness, for the sake of progress, individualism, and health the answer is yes. It has progressively become socially acceptable for men to cry over more issues. Crying allows men to express their feelings about the things they care for. It is even healthier for men to cry than to repress their tears. Crying has allowed men the right to be human, to be individuals. Even this generation of men testify to the socially acceptableness of it all. “Modern men show emotion better than their dads with nine out of 10 disagreeing that "real men don't cry.” (Sayid)
Works Cited
"Men Don't Cry" (Chinese: 奸人堅) is a TVB 21-episode comedy series that began airing from October 8 2007. CDayo Wong as Ho Chi Kin (何其堅)
- Lam Ka Wah as Wong Fei Hung (黃飛鴻)
Click the link for more information.Dobson, Roger, WHAT MAKES A REAL MAN; Never cryor send birthday cards. Sunday Mirror. 2000
Lloyd, Katie, Is it OK for men to cry? (or even moisturise?). METROSEXUALITY: The Mail asks the big question, Birmingham Mail. 2006 "Men Don't Cry" (Chinese: 奸人堅) is a TVB 21-episode comedy series that began airing from October 8 2007. Cast
Lehfeldt, Elizabeth A., Ideal men: masculinity and decline in seventeenth-century Spain. Renaissance Quarterly. 2008
Majeski Knight-Ridder, Tom, HAVE A GOOD CRY : TEARS A HEALTH MECHANISM, NOT SIGN OF WEAKNESS, DOCTORS SAY. Daily News. 1996
Dayo Wong as Ho Chi Kin (何其堅)Lam Ka Wah as Wong Fei Hung (黃飛鴻)
Sayid, Ruki, EARLY-LIFE CRISIS; Ambitious young men are stressed over jobs and cash. The Mirror.2005
Click the link for more information.
