My life before I came to Christ
Before coming to Christ, I convinced myself that my spiritual life was acceptable if not perfect. I already knew the Ten Commandments and was keen to follow what was socially moral and avoid everything that could portray my person in a negative light. I cognitively accepted that I was a sinner and that through God's pure mercy and love, Jesus died on the cross and rose again to save humanity. Hence, I went to church every Sunday and made sure to give my offerings without fail. However, it was not until I turned fifteen that I accepted the truth volitionally. In other words, although I was aware of my sinful state, there was no pressing need to change my situation. Still, it was a miserable life. I was insecure all the time and had trouble in trusting people even when they gave me no reason to doubt their intentions. Naturally, lack of self-confidence evolved and affected my relationships with my immediate family, relatives, and friends. Despite my young age, it was apparent that I needed help, but nobody else noticed that; hence, I had to find another option.
How I came to a cognitive knowledge of who Jesus is and what He did for me
Now, while it was clear that I needed help, up to the time I stumbled upon the words of Jeremiah 33:3 written across the bumper of a car, I was not keen on finding a solution. Perhaps the old me would term it an accident, but my current saved status helps me realize that it was a matter of divine intervention. It was as if God Himself was not only asking me to call Him but also promising that He would answer me in a mighty way and help me indefinitely. Expectedly, my fear of a future in which I would never be able to have a lasting relationship prompted me to look for a solution to my struggles. While I was guilty of sabotaging friendships for fear of being disappointed, I knew Jesus Christ in name alone and not as my savior. Therefore, I could not claim any of the spiritual riches and comfort promised to believers. I had not called on Him and could not see His mighty deeds.
Circumstances surrounding your conversion
When I first called on Jesus, I was alone in my bedroom fuming over yet another tanked friendship but this time, it was with my childhood best friend. I was tired and frustrated feeling all alone in the world, yet I could hear my family laughing downstairs about something. My worst fear had come true and because of my personal problems, I was losing one of the few people who I could bring myself to love and trust wholly. What followed was an immense fear. Pictures of me in school without a companion, summers without any friends, and no invitations to birthday parties raced through my head, and I could not handle any of the scenarios. I was utterly terrified. Thus, as my entire body shook and my breath came in short gasps, I went through what I later realized was a minor panic attack. Amidst all that, the words from the car bumper came to mind, and I quickly called out to Jesus while quoting the words of Jeremiah 33:3. It may seem absurd that one person could cause such a reaction from me, but it was what the severed relationship confirmed. I had long blamed others for failing me, but if the person who loved me without any blood relations could walk away, then the problem was with me and not the numerous others who came before. So on that night, it became apparent that I needed Jesus to help me and save me from myself.
The peace and comfort that followed the uttering of that one name went beyond anything I could ever imagine. Jesus’ death and resurrection gave him power over death, and my problem was nothing compared to that triumph.
How would you describe your spiritual growth from the time you accepted Christ to today?
Today, thanks to Jesus, I am a better person. My life as a born again Christian continues to thrive in so many ways that continue to astound me and everybody else who knows my previous self. Still I know there is more waiting for me, and I have to say that I cannot wait to know my Lord deeper and bask in the love that He continues to bestow upon my life. Through His name, I was finally able to breathe literally during the panic attack and figuratively as a person who is free from the shackles of a life without His presence. I still have problems with trusting people and accepting them, but the intensity of my problem has significantly dropped over the years. After all, while I still have a childhood best friend and many more companions, my family can attest to my changed demeanor any day. I believe that God purposed my life for greater things, and it was the devil’s antics at play when I burned bridges and hurt people with my icy attitude. I am not perfect, but with Jesus, I am certainly a better version of myself.
