My parents’ child-rearing style was authoritative, but not authoritarian. They instilled firm values within me, such as the need for an education and hard work in order to succeed. My parents both went to college, but only my father earned a bachelor degree. My mother often reminded me that her career opportunities would have been better had she been more intelligent or educated. Both parents worked hard throughout their lives and started their own business, which I worked for from a young age. My mother also worked in an office and then for the business as it grew. The only time I was allowed to stay home from school was if I had a fever or vomited. Anything less would not have excused me. I was not told that I was exceptional or better than anyone else. They did not punish me physically, but rather took away privileges like watching television.
It is possible that my parents’ child-rearing style was influenced by their parents. All of my grandparents were the children of immigrants. Both of my grandfathers were hard-working, but it very different ways. My father’s father was college educated and the son of Jewish immigrants. My mother’s father had to leave school after eighth grade to support his family. My father’s mother did not go to college, but was one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. She was my role model for the importance of knowledge and learning. My parents both had different models for parenting, but both were encouraged to pursue education and work hard. Both of my parents have told me that they were hit by their parents as children, which is why they never hit me as a child.
They provided me with the advantages of a middle-class upbringing, but did not spoil me with material items. They helped me to buy my first car by allowing me to buy a used car from them at a discount price, but I still had to pay them for it. I was never told that I was exceptional or special because of my background or abilities. However, I performed well academically because of my own drive to do so. My parents did not have to encourage me as I became older because the values they instilled became my own. At the same time, I did not feel that I was inferior to others, but I was always driven to do more than others around me because they had taught me that hard work would lead to success. In light of the NY Times article, “What Drives Success?” (2014), this would be described as impulse control. I am fully aware of the feeling that immediate gratification should be sacrificed in order to achieve something greater in the future. This was definitely shaped by my parents’ child-rearing style.
Works Cited
Chua, Amy, and Rubenfeld, Jed. "What Drives Success?" The New York Times. The New York Times, 25 Jan. 2014. Web. 03 Apr. 2016.
