The column under discussion in this paper is titled Hey Dude, You're Not Stuck in the Friendzone Cuz You Dress Shitty by Tracey Moore. Posted on Jezebel on the 11th of Februrary 2014, the column advices men that it is not how they dress that it is not what they wear or how they dress that motivates women to sleep with them. According to the article, if a woman is not interested in a man, she will not have sex with him just because the man wears expensive clothes. There is a common societal belief among men that they will impress ladies if they put on expensive clothes and accessories. The author argues against this belief and advices men that it is not the cost of their clothes that will get women to like them and go to bed with them. This essay is going to discuss how this article is challenging social norms. The paper will also argue that the advice given by Tracey Moore’s article is productively normative.
According to Moore, bad advice is when men are told that they are stuck in the friend zone with women because they fail to wear expensive clothes and accessories. According to her, many men’s magazines and fashion promoters are guilty of encouraging men to think that they can get a woman to bed just by what they wear. Men are made to believe that if the adorn expensive accessories such as sunglasses and watches, or expensive items of clothing, it is difficult for women to ignore them and fail to like them. It is a social belief among men that they can attract ladies and get them to sleep with them just by wearing expensive clothes and accessories. Moore opines that if a woman does not just like you, no amount of expensive clothes or accessories will get her to change her mind. Most men, at some point in their lives, have ended up in the friend zone of a lady they like or intended to have sex with. Moore takes issue with an article published in Esquire Magazine which advices men that they can avoid being put in the friend zone by women simply by acquiring very expensive shirt, cologne, jeans, jacket, boots, shades, scarf, and accessorizing this look with an expensive lapel, together with an expensive shaving kit. According to the advice given by Esquire, it would mean that a man should spend about $ 5470 on a full outfit and its accessories just to ensure that girls are attracted to him and are willing to have sex with him. Moore thinks otherwise and opines that what you wear as a man will most likely not get you out of the friend zone with women (Moore, 2014).
The advice given in this article by Tracey Moore is challenging social norms. This is because many people in society hold the same belief that men will ensure they do not get into the friend zone of women they like simply by having expensive clothes. This is the common social norm and belief. The author strongly challenges this norm because she feels that if a woman does not consider you as one of the men that could have sex with her from the onset of your knowing each other; it is not expensive clothes and accessories that will make her change her mind.
The advice given by the column is productively normative. This is because the advice seeks to fight the male sexist behavior which suggests that they are entitled to sex with women just for knowing them. According to Moore, it is sexist and chauvinistic for men to feel that women should have sex with them just because they know each other. Men seem to support the notion that women should “pay” them with sex just for knowing them and being present in their lives. This article is productively normative because it discourages men from assuming that women ought to reciprocate sexual interest just because men show it to them. Women are autonomous beings and have the right to decide whether to sleep with a man or not. They should be allowed to make their own decisions about sex and relationships. This article is productive normative because it is against penalizing and agonizing women who reject men who are interested in sex with them (Cialdini, Demaine, Sagarin, Barrett, Rhoads, & Winter, 2006).
The article has done well in challenging social norms that seem to equate women to objects of unrequited sexual desire whenever the refuse to sleep with a man (Canguilhem, 1991). The author terms this unfair because men also friend zone women who they are not attracted to. The only difference is that women are not as vocal about their sexual desires as men. Women never really complain as much as men when they are friend zoned. Instead, they try to find out what they are doing wrong that is making most men just want to remain their friends and nothing more. The article has also challenged social norms by disputing the belief that if men are attentive and nice to women, they deserve to be rewarded by sex.
Men not getting sex from women has to do with a number of reasons such as no attraction and no chemistry. Men should stop thinking that the only reason they are not getting sex from women is because of their unattractive dressing style. Many women have confessed that they rarely friend zone men simply because of what they wear. For this reason, men should stop thinking that if they acquire expensive clothes and matching accessories, they can get a woman to like them and accept to have sex with them. This could not be further from the truth. Of course there are women who appreciate good dressing and accessories. However, this should not be confused that they will simply go to bed with a man because the man has expensive clothes and accessories.
In the list of why a woman may not be sexually or romantically attracted to a man, it is very difficult to find that one of the reasons is because the man’s clothes or accessories are not expensive. In as much as there are some women who may not like the style of a man, it is a shallow reason to generalize that women simply decide not to sleep with a man because their clothes are not expensive. The author’s final advice is that if a man is sexually attracted to a woman and would like to date her, he should be open about it and tell her how he feels. If the woman does not feel the same, the man should not waste his money buying expensive clothes and accessories hoping to change her mind. Instead, the man should use that money to do other meaningful things that would help him become a well-rounded person.
References
Canguilhem, G. (1991). The normal and the pathological. New York: Zone Books.
Cialdini, R. B., Demaine, L. J., Sagarin, B. J., Barrett, D. W., Rhoads, K., & Winter, P. L. (2006). Managing social norms for persuasive impact. Social Influence, 3, 3-15.
Moore, T. (2014). Hey Dude, You're Not Stuck in the Friendzone Cuz You Dress Shitty. Jezebel, 11 February 2014. Retrieved from: http://jezebel.com/hey-dude-youre-not-stuck-in-the-friendzone-cuz-you-dre-1653403664
