Philosophy
Introduction
In the situation, I was contemplating whether or not to move off to a new city with my girlfriend while she would pursue her graduate studies in that city. If he would do so, I planned on taking a job in that city. The only uncertainty that I was having was leaving behind my friends, family and relatives, my job and hometown when I move to a new place with my girlfriend. Now, came the two dilemmas: 1. If I move to a new city with my girlfriend, I would rarely see my friends, family and relatives. Furthermore, I would lose his job and hometown that I loved. And,, 2. If I stay behind in my hometown, I would rarely get to see his girlfriend. Which choice should I take?
Body
I would opt to just let my girlfriend go off to graduate school while I stay behind in my hometown of Austin, Texas with friends, family and relatives. In this way, I get to be in my hometown that I’m familiar with all of my life and get to keep my job that provides good pension. I can just visit my girlfriend once in a while in Indiana. It would be good as we still would be able to get to see each other and still be in a relationship. Perhaps, after she graduates she can move back to Austin and be with me in person on a permanent basis.
The values of perseverance in dilemma A was I was so devoted to my girlfriend that I would be willing to sacrifice everything I had in order to be with her. I was willing to sacrifice my own needs before making his girlfriend sacrifice her need for a good education. I could have made his girlfriend be forced to stay in Austin to be with me, and threaten her that if she would not do that, it would be over between us. But, I did not do that. The act of unselfishness also indicates undying devotion of the mine to my girlfriend. If I was not so devoted to my girlfriend, I could have just let my girlfriend go, and break up with her.
My obligation for moving to another city with his girlfriend was for the love I had for my girlfriend. I might have felt obligated to let my girlfriend become my wife-to-be someday, therefore, I felt obligated to be unselfish to her. Becoming his wife-to-be is a big part of both the lives of the I and the girl. It would mean that we would be bound together forever. If I really intended to marry my girlfriend in the near future, this example of undying devotion that he exemplified towards my girlfriend would likely not lead to a divorce, despite the difficulties that we may face in their marriage. Being unselfish is very important to a lasting marriage. Often times, divorces occur due to lack of understanding between the couple, and this includes selfishness.
I seemed to be giving it all to my girlfriend without considering my future needs, if he chose of move to another city with my girlfriend. This action may cause me to regret the decision I have made in the near future. I may think if it was all worth it to sacrifice a lot for just one person. On the other hand, the good thing would be I would get to keep the love of his life, and would prevent myself in getting heart broken by sticking by his lady into moving into another place.
The values of perseverance in dilemma B was the perseverance of the mine to keep my priorities on top of my list by choosing to be with my friends, family and relatives, and by choosing to keep my great job and hometown. Friends, family and relatives are difficult to let go of just for one person, my girlfriend. More people to lose would mean losing more than losing only one person. My job in Austin was also hard to let go as it paid good and gave me a pension. A career is something which can only come once in a lifetime. Not everybody get to still have the type of career they want after a few years once they have let go of it. I may never get to have the great career in Indiana that he was having in Austin. I can never be too sure if the job awaiting me in Indiana would be as great as the job that he had in Austin without trying it out in Indiana. Devotion to my hometown also means perseverance on being loyal to your birth place that gave you an identity.
I was obligated to my friends, family, relatives, job and hometown in letting go of my girlfriend to Indiana and staying behind in Austin. These components and persons I had obligations to may have been with me even before me and my girlfriend got together. With this in mind, it was just fair for the me to prioritize my loyalty to these components and persons rather than prioritizing my girlfriend. I may incur more benefits by being loyal as these things I had in Austin have been with me for a long time already.
I would have a strong support system through the form of his family, friends and relatives if I stay behind in Austin. My family, friends and relatives may have had their loyalty tested as stronger than my girlfriend’s due to the fact that I have been with the former longer. With this in mind, I would likely to be sure to have somebody to lean on in times of trouble. The bad thing about the decision to stay behind in Austin was I would miss my girlfriend and may possibly risk getting broken up with her due to the distance.
For me, the category that is important is having the strong support system of anybody, just as long as it has been proven that those people have been loyal to you through thick and thin. I think at this point I would choose my friends, family and relatives as they have proven to me that they have been loyal to me through the years in difficult times. With my girlfriend, I have not encountered any situations yet with her in which the test of loyalty has been tested. Therefore, I cannot be as confident in trusting her that I could count on her no matter what happens as I could with my friends, relatives and family. Who knows, my girlfriend could even become unfaithful to me and cheat on me in the near future. Either that, or she could even leave me for somebody else. If these things happen, it would leave me heartbroken and would make me difficult to get by.
I would resolve this situation by letting my girlfriend go off to graduate school in Indiana while I stay behind in Austin. I’ve realized that despite me loving my girlfriend as much as I do, I cannot afford the fact to leave behind a lot of assets I have in my hometown. These assets are very precious to me as they have made me who I was today. Not that my girlfriend did not shape who I was. My assets in my hometown just contributed more into shaping me as a whole person than did my girlfriend.
Since I have picked option B, I should be ready for the implications ahead that may come my way. One of these implications would be, my girlfriend may decide that she wanted to be with another man due to the distance between us, or because she felt I was not sacrificing for her as much as she wanted to. On the other hand, I would enjoy the times that I would have in being with my family, friends, and relatives and for keeping the pension for my job. Not too often that a lot of blessings still come into a person’s way despite the hardships, so I need to cherish the blessings while they last.
If my girlfriend leaves me for somebody else if I stay behind in Austin, I would suffer major heartaches. I would probably go through depression and would refuse to eat and take part in daily activities. I would probably need to see a psychiatrist and take medicines for my depression. Doing so would cost me a lot of money when paying for the psychiatrist’s consultation fee and expenses for anti-depressant medications. I would likely burden my family for a lot of medical expenses in this situation.
I would probably have a hard time finding another girlfriend because I would have a hard time forgetting about my girlfriend, should I stay behind in Austin. All I could ever see in another girl was my girlfriend, and that would frustrate the other girl. It may take a while before I can be ready to be in another relationship because I’m deeply in love with my girlfriend. If I do not start a relationship with someone else if my girlfriend leaves me, I would be lonely as well.
I may become extra dependent on my family, friends and relatives once my girlfriend is gone in Austin. This would be because I would see it as an opportune time to be too dependent on them to wallow in my loneliness. As a result, they would get frustrated at me and may start avoiding me. I would then be left with nobody to count on but myself. Whenever I would be in trouble, I would just have myself to rely on no matter how difficult the situation may be.
I may, though, be promoted in my job in Austin should I stay behind here and let my girlfriend go off to graduate school in Indiana. As time and years go by, skills at the job may become enhanced. Therefore, it is not impossible that I would get a promotion and a raise in my salary. This opportunity may not be possible if I would move to Indiana with my girlfriend, because then, I would have to start off from scratch in showing off my skills to get a promotion, and it takes years to prove that I deserve a promotion.
Conclusion
As hard as it may seem, I really needed to make tough choices in my life. It was not easy for me to choose to stay behind in Austin and let my girlfriend go off to graduate school. But, at this point in my life, I cannot afford to lose a lot over one person whose future with I’m not sure which road will take us. As sad as the situation may be, I am confident that I made the right decision. I just hope my girlfriend understands this, if not now, in the near future.
